CHRISTMAS CHATTER.

Taranaki Daily News, 20 December 1924, Page 5 (Supplement)

CHRISTMAS CHATTER.

A GAME FOR THE CHILDREN, Three players sit in a row on the floor, with a space of about two feet between them. The two outside players are each provided with a soft slipper —the middle one holds nothing. It is the object of the outside players to slap the hands of the middle one whenever he shoots them out to right or left. They do not know which hand is coming out, or when it is coming, and the chances of scoring a hit are few. A MISTLETOE MASCOT. “Since my marriage/’ says a prominent actress, “mistletoe has been my mascot, and it has brought me the best of luck. For what can be better than a happy marriage ?” This little lady says that the whole company on one occasion were enthusiastic about giving Christmas boxes, and not wanting to be out of the fashion I gave Jack (her husband) a present, with a piece of mistletoe enclosed. He also had a Christmas box ready for me, and he also had caught the mistletoe fever, for a piece was enclosed with the parcel he gave me. Actions speak louder than woxds. We did what all the best people do under the mistletoe,, and from that minute we were engaged. Soon afterwards we married, and we’ve been real pals ever since. A PANTOMIME ERROR. It was not often that old Mr. Micawber gave his family a good time, but Christmas was different. Even he intended to make a splash. Full of good intentions, therefore, he rang up the local theatre, where "Puss in Boots” was in full swing. “I want four seats for Boxing Night” he told the box-office over the telephone. “Sorry—but we don’t reserve seats,” came the faint reply. “First come—•first served, is our rule.” “But surely I can reserve the seats now —we shan’t stand a chance otherwise.” *soh,” said the voice chuckling, “I’m not so sure about that.” Mr. Micawber promptly lost his temper. “Look here,” he stormed, “send someone to the ’phone who knows the theatre business.” “This isn’t a theatre at all.” replied the voice. “This is the gaol.” “TRADING” IN TURKEYS. Ever it is that at Christmas time the swindler takes advantage of everybody’s generosity and good nature, and reaps a golden harvest. Here is one of his methods of swindling the housewife. He watches the tradesmen’s carts and the delivery carts of the big delivery companies, and spots where a hamper, say, is left. A short while after it has been left he rings the bell and says: “Excuse me, m'm, but a hamper has been left here by mistake by my mate. Tills is the one for you.” He puts down in the hall, before the unsuspecting housewife, a hamper from which is sticking out a few fowl’s feathers or turkey feathers, and apparently, by its weight, packed tight with good things, and takes away the other hamper. When the hamper is opened the few feathers are there all right, and below them bricks and paper. One pair of swindlers have been known to hire a cart and horse and exchange fifty dummy hampers for the real ones in the course of a couple of days by this trick. THE FUNNY MAN’S MISTAKE. The funny man had been invited to go to a children’s Christmas party to help to amuse the small guests. “Must do something really funny,” he reflected. “I know—lll go as a bear. That’ll make the little beggars roar with laughter.”

So he procured a bear’s skin, wrapped himself up in it, and set off in a tax?i.

When the vehicle pulled up ho sprang out, ran up the steps of the house, rang the bell, and the moment the door opened he darted into the hall and bounded on all fours into the drawing-room, -growling fiercely: but instead of the roar of laughter he had expected, a frigid silence greeted him. He looked up. No children were

there—only two very prim old maiden ladies regarding him with icy amazement. He had gone to the wrong house. AN AFTER DINNER TRICK, After the festival dinner, just casually jpiok up a knife, and ask if anyone is prepared to make a florin run up and down its edge. When you are pressed to perform the Trick yourself,

take from your pocket a florin which you have previously prepared as follows. With wax, stick a fairly new sixpence against the florin. Then stick a halfpenny against the sixpence in the same way. Your audience must see only the plain side of the florin; you keep the other side towards yourself. You can then make the florin run up and down the eldge of the knife. The coin, of course, really travels on the sixpence. DURING THE NUTS AND WINE. Here is a good little joke to practice during the nuts and wine. Fill two tumblers with water. Invert one over the other, so that they are mouth to mouth, and place them upright in a

dish. The problem is to extract the water from th etop tumbler without touching either of them with the hands.

Although seemingly impossible, the feat is quite easy. Light your pipe, place the end of the mouthpiece close to the crack formed at the junction of the tumblers, apply- your mouth to the bowl of the pipe, and blow the smoke down the mouthpiece.

The smoke will enter £he crack and fill the top tumbler, the' water from which will gradually run down the side of the lower one and fill the dish.

THE NEW CONSIDERATION. A certain gentleman in Lancashire was addicted to the bad habit of staying out late at night. His wife, growing tired of the practice, turned the front door key one night and went to lied. In the small hours a pathetic knock aroused her. “Who is there?” she inquired, thrusting her head out of the window. “It’s me, missus. Ah’ve bin oop at cloob considering strike.” “Oh, yer ’a\e, ’ave yer. Well, yer can sit there now and consider lock-out.”

HIS APPROVAL. Some men are reluctant to express their opinion about others, whether they are dead or alive. A company was talking about a departed acquaintance. One asked another, an American: “Are you going to attend his funeral?” “No,” the American replied, “but the proceedings have my entire approvall”