“ THE MIND OF MANKIND ”

Te Awamutu Courier, Volume 25, Issue 3761, 27 May 1936, Page 5

“ THE MIND OF MANKIND ”

HUMOUR AT THE ORPHANS’ CLUB.

THE PRESIDENTIAL ADDRESS. , A regular feature of Orphans Club social evenings, at least so far as the Te Awamutu Club is concerned, is a short address by the chairman of the evening. Bro. E. W. White, the president, followed the lead last Saturday evening, in opening the 1936 session. His remarks were listened to attentively, and he was warmly applauded at the close. The subject of the address was “The Mind of Mankind,” and we publish it for general appreciation:— We live in strange times, brethren. Has this old world of ours ever been more topsy turvey? We have recently learned of a magnificent campaign embodying all forms of outrageous ruthlessness conducted “solely for the purpose of fostering civilisation.” At the same time we learn of astounding revelations and witness of thq Divine guidance from the “Great Pyramid.” Another section a little nearer home plans socialisation of all industry, with freedom from taxation, promising a definite attempt to rest not “until the condition of the working man is on the level of an American millionaire.” “Poor chap! What next?” is the general cry. We knew tinat this earth rotates on its axis just as all returned soldiers know full well that an army moves on its stomach; but few of us know that mankind in general “moves on its mind.” Ken Alexander says so, and he is hardly ever wrong. .With this intriguing thought I would dally for a few minutes. You have read columns of news wherein the Eng-lish-speaking peoples claim kinship with the descendants of Abraham; and considering how much they (the English) have given away, and how little they have received by way of return, we are compelled to consider seriously this claim of relationship. But the study of “The Mind of Mankind” involves sterner stuff than this contentious matter. Let us look lightly into the question of “How Mankind makes up his (and her) mind.” Just frankly, it doesn’t. The mind of mankind is made up daily for the extremely low price of 9d per week for the morning mind-maker, 14 3d per week if one is locally patriotic and buys the Te Awamutu Courier, and some of us like to spend as much as 2s per week in order to have our mind made up in serious matters that merit attention. Generally this late news reads something like this “Galilee and Stretto, with light boys in the saddle, broke four furlongs in 48 dead. With the flags out Cuddle dashed off six in 1.12.” Strange, words to the uninitiated, but to those whose minds are open these are magical words, and are solely responsible for the tremendous increase in the number of houses to let in certain towns. But we should really deal with the mind of my lady, and its its making-up first. All married men know her mind is made up; generally it is .months ahead. It is her face which seems to be in constant need of “make up,” but of her mind—well here’s the Story;—

The morning mind - maker is delivered just when hubby has gone to work. Its delivery synchronises with the arrival of the grocer, the butcher, and the second milk delivery. Having extracted from these willing tools the local gossip for the day, and had her mind made up as to what the weather will be or won’t be, her mind is ready for its morning make-up. This is the usual procedure. Turn to page one, first column on the left, known as “Arrivals.” This is a grand tonic to the female mind. To Mr and Mrs Smith another Smith with expressions of thanks to someone else. Audible comments on incidents such as this are “How nice,” “Won’t father be pleased?” “Poor beggars, twins,” and sometimes the cryptic phrase “Now I understand,” but more often than not we hear “Dash; another blinkin’ present!” Below the arrivals column we find the weddings list. A definite influence, Brethren, on mind making. You remember hearing this often: “At last!” “Fancy throwing herself away on that ratter!” “I could have had that thing any old day, but he was too utterly utter for me!” and many more such.

And just below is the column for those whose worries are over, and milady’s mind is either sad or darkened; but perhaps brightened by thoughts of immediate future benefits.

These three sections are really just the olives at this mind-making feast. The Ladies’ Luca! Gossip column fdrnishes the soupy section. This is a sample of the fare:—“Mrs Brown is spending a few days with her mother at Kihikihi.” “After a flying visit to Ellerslie, Mrs Twinkletoes has gone to Tokanui.” “Mrs Smith has returned to Auckland after spending a few weeks with her newly-married daughter, Mrs Natty Bumpo, greiatly to Mr Bumpo’s peace of mind.” Four or five columns of this mind-making material are fed cut daily; and what to follow?. Your first guess is right :—the advertisements, end here the mind-making feast is epicurean. The appeal of new shoes, new stockings, new hats. Entrancing visions pf absolute loveliness in scanty but nevertheless exquisite lingerie. The absolute relief and belief in the well known miaxim: “wear such and such next your skin” and “take yoqr figure off your mind,” while the imparted knowledge that some old-fashioned colour with a new-fashioned name, is the last word this week, is thetultimate in mind-making. Now, by the time all this mischief has been dealt with, lunch should or may be ready. Whether she suffers from tin-open-er’s wrist or not., her mind is definitely made up for the day. and she is eager and willing to hold her own on all topics that can seriously be considered serious at the usual catty bridge parties, Blanket parties or shopping raids. Possibly, Brethren, you have wondered as to the origin of the deadly sins of Envy, Hatred and Malice, and all uncharitableness. They emanate entirely from the daily mind-maker and are undoubtedly the work of the Punter’s Devil.

Man, being of less noble clay, is naturally different. I have been at some pains to track down his method of mind-making. He is so inconsistently inconsistent; but here’s a sample of the usual routine. Rush home to lunch —hurl your hat into a chair, or on to the floor. Perfect —peck the wife’s cheek, drag a

chair-up to the table and gjab the mind-maker, having first delivered any stray letters that you may have been holding for a week or so perhaps. Glance at the front page for a prospective job at £lOOO a year, and then on to the pidture page. There is sure to be something worth while from the mind-making standpoint. Perhaps a film star of whose beauty and ability you cherish a sneaking regard. Better still, “your own fancy flashing phst the post with the others down the course,” or perhaps a photograph of some man—it’s less complicating to find a man about whom you idly chat while you quietly turn the page over to find what favourite it was, and keeping on talking so that no suspicions may be aroused. Perhaps bcwls make a greater appeal, and such food as “Gee trailed kitty for four,” is an inspiration to go and do likewise when the evening arrives. His mind-making campaign does not permit of any attention to advertisements so what remaining time he has left—and it is precious little—is devoted to a study of politics. An attempt to gleam the honest truth about the European situation and some wild conjectures as to what the Savage Gang will do next. Of Hitler, Mussolini, Fascism and the other new complexes he prefers his mind to be a complete blank; and so back to work he toddles leaving the night for his great dose of mindmaking. Leaving work at 5 p.m.. he stays in town until five minutes to—just to miss tlhe raid and with tea. a thing of the past—a comfortable fire. Tobacco and the evening mind-maker to hand he has no mere worries unless he is the programme organiser of the president of the Orphans’ Club. For the sake of peace land tranquility in the home, the evening mind-maker is arranged so that a family of four may read it at the same time without fighting for the various sections. Mum reads the advertisements, the daughter the social columns, the. son the football results while Dad nods away over the foreign news reading the same lines time and time again, until his snoring indicates that his mind is fully charged and that until nine o’clock, at least when ,the wrestling comes through the wireless inferno his is the Well ordered mind, sane, practical and self-sufficient even if a little hide bound.

Let us get on with the progranjme Brethren, leaving mankind with its mind fully made up as we shall leave it finally with our toes turned up. My speech is ended and well may you ask what has it to do with Orphans and Orphandom. Only this Brethren. Make up your minds to give Orphandom your instincted support for the aims and ideals of Orphandom are worthy of imitation and appreciation. In its social service to man it is excellent. In its fellowship and companionship are to be found the highest of motives. In its traditions it is definitely established. It bears an honoured name. It is worthy of your best and it demands your best I humbly and earnestly ask this of each and everyone of you here tonight.

This is the corner stone cf my speech. In fact'ias Brother Sinclairsays—“lt is the vino sacro The nux vomica the Ipeeacuhana and Antiphlogistine.