A TOOTH PULLING FANTASY.

Te Aroha News, Volume III, Issue 106, 13 June 1885, Page 6

A TOOTH PULLING FANTASY.

With eleven teeth had I parted without the aid of anesthetics. Unconditionally I surrendered them to the dentist, who was willing to receive them for a consideration. A twelfth must go. As I took the chair of torture, I remarked that it was a four-footed molar and would hurt. •• Take gas," suggested the dentist. " What is gas ?" " Nitrogen monoxide —the bestanresthetic known. It is harmless and serves well." '* I'll take it ; give me enough." The dentist brought forth a rubber bag, the wooden muzzle of which he thrust into my mouth, With a bound I sprang into the air. I attempted to fasten my nold upon something, but everything gave way— even a giant elm came up by the roots. I realised that I had but a fow minutes to live. All my friends— I saw every one— were watching me. My deeds, good and bad, filed past me. I will not say which formed the longer procession. A man to whom I had given a pewter quarter asked me how 1 liked it, and said he knew I would come to it. Now I waa going upwards, and when I had reached a great height, I swooped down like a bird of prey, and dashed through a wall of masonry— just 100 feet thick by actual measurement. A dozen times I soared aloffc, and as many times sailed down. When I descended all the stone fences, cobbers, boulders, and trees ran to meet me. I hit them all. Now I was ascending again, but in a different manner. A balloon, mile in circumference, was bearing me upward. I clung to its lower part with my teeth My hands were in my pockets, for the air was chilly Above me was the balloon car, and out of it leaned a man resembling the dentist. In his hands he held an immense pair of tongs. He regarded me with evident i displeasure. We were rising at a fearful rate of speed — so fast indeed that I could not shut my eyes. The wind blew the lids open and held them back. At last the man in the car said - " Now I'll pull that tooth ; you must cling on with your nose till I pull it," I obeyed, knowing I was in hie power. The tooth came out on the end of the tongs, and was placod in the car. Soon after I heard a tumult in the car above. The dentist appeare I and shook his clenched hand at me. and shouted — " Confound your old tooth ; it is growing so fast that it will croud me out. Pretty fellow you are to shed such a monstrous molar." I thought this very unkind I had not asked to pull the tooth, and how could I be responsible for its size ? # Again the dentist appeared and cried in great wrath, " I shall throw it overboard — look out !" It did not hit me. I saw as it whizzed by that it Mas many times larger chan the Capitol building at Washington. I hoped that none of my friends were standing where it would fall upon the earth. V\ e were near the sun, and approaching nearer at lightning speed. The dentist sat on the edge of the car, dangling his legs, and smoked. He hud the impudence to ask me why I did not smoke. It was so warm from proximity to the sun that I decided to go no further. I relinquished my hold and shouted, iC Good bye, old jawbreaker." Quick as thought, insulted, indignant, the dentist reached for his tongs. "I'll pull them all," he said, and aa I fell the tongs lengthened and gave chase, but could not overtake me. After falling all day and all night I came near the earth early in the morning. As I flew downward a gilded weather-cock on a church steeple crowed. I considered this offensive, and by some unknown agency, arrested my flight, and went back to the weather- cock and demanded to know what he meant by it. He crowed the louder. This was too great an insult. I flew at him, when, presto, he began to crow louder and to grow larger. 1 was on the earth now, fleeing from a monster cock. The church and steeple were still attached to him, but he had become so much larger that they were no impediment. I remonstrated with him, but his only reply was a blow from the foot fiat beld the church and steeple. lie was on the point of dancing a hornpipe on my stomach when I emerged into a new world in timo to hear the dentist say, " There it is !" at the same time holding up a tooth. " Did you know when I pulled it?" i " Yes : I saw you and your tonga pulling, but I felfc ifc not. You were a greac while about it ! How long have I been here?" The dentist consulted his timepiece. " Ono minute and twenty seconds." — George Appleton Stockwell, in " Every Other."