Shaun’s Patch

Southland Times, Issue 21770, 27 July 1932, Page 8

Shaun’s Patch

A lUtk non»enjw mw Is taiUbed by tbs men. —Hudlbras-

It looks as if more nations are going to be converted to conversion.

Irish newspapers have warned Britain that if she is not careful the Free State will decline to arbitrate and will spend the money it has seized. Evidently they wish to say: “Suspense makes suspend.” . Reports from Sydney say that manj, of the unemployed have declined work and declared they prefer to remain on the dole. The leisure class! » • • • There is very little difference between martial law and marital law. ♦ * * * the innocents. This has been given me:— She thought blue blood was due to rickets. * * * * It is not necessary to take the sting out of inflation. The important thing is that there is always a “flat” in it. * * * * An oil conference has been sitting in Paris. Evidently it worked smoothly, and higher prices are expected. ♦ * * * THOSE DAUGHTERS. An offering:— She was only an optician’s daughter, but two glasses and she made a spectacle of herself. * * * * This one from John O’London’s Limerick contests cannot be passed by: A fakir of Tuticorin Sat gingerly down on a pin Saying: “Though a priori I hate it, yet glory A posteriori I’ll win.” * * * » I notice a statement concerning the King which says: The King possesses an amazing knowledge of affairs. As one result he has simple tastes. One of his favourite dishes is poached eggs on toast. Evidently the reference is to internal affairs. » * ♦ » Mr H. E. Wimperis says: “We could fly the speed of sound if we wanted to, but no money is available? Sounds all right, but I suppose it means that money won’t talk fast enough. » * * * Revolutions in South American republics are really a sign of consideration. One good turn deserves another. * ♦ ♦ * EDUCATIONAL AIDS. Give a sentence containing the word “Hiawatha”: “Hiawatha good boy once.” ♦ ♦ * ♦ I’d like to meet that considerate poet who came when the editor was out and asked the office boy to throw the poem he had brought into the wastepaper basket. YOUTHS BRIGHT LEXICON. A correspondent has sent me this: Abash. To shock people, formerly done without difficulty, to-day an almost impossible feat. Absence. Makes the heart grow fonder—but not always of the absent one. Allure. See it. Ambidextrous. Not letting your right hand know -who is holding your left. Ammunition. See vanity-case. ♦ * * * Sic transit mundi For Jerry McShane— At crossings he’d never Look out for a train. * * * * WITH HEAD BOWED LOW. The mail brought this yesterday:— Dear Shaun, —I submit the following as a contribution to your column. Oh! Shaun you like to have a pick, At errors in your contemporary’s stick, But now on you we have the laugh, About your latest bit of chaff, We must point out in this refrain, That PRICE can never be a PRAIN, Read that report again—be nice You’ll see your PRAIN is really PRICE. Trusting it is of sufficient import for publication.—l am, etc., B.M.A. « ♦ ♦ * Pride brought low, and yet the spirit’s prodded To plead that e’en the Bard of Avon nodded, And all that’s left to do, as you surmise, Is bow the head and then apologize; But as no journal’s name in what I wrote Appeared, I raise my eyes to meekly note How my corrector’s knowledge seemed to carry Him to mention a “contemporary”!