REAL PRESENCE OF MIND.

Pelorus Guardian and Miners' Advocate., Volume 23, Issue 6, 23 January 1912, Page 3

REAL PRESENCE OF MIND.

There were half-a-dozen ( old fellows sit* ling on a bench, at a'seasidc resort talking upon varioussubjects, and finally they began to tell stories as to the wonderful feats of. presence' of mind they had witnessed. One old gentleman- told of the building of a mils: where a number of uprigftt.ppsfs had to . be, put into about six-feet Of'water, with the ends resting on the bottom. In lowering one of these posts the end became entangled- in the coat tail of a man in a boat, who was steadying it, and took bint to the bottom ; but before he could, get nneatanglad be waa pinned fast under nearly, fix feet of water.; "With wonderful presence of mind," said the storyteller, 1 slipped 1 out of his coat, and came up. His,coat remained under the post.” A 2ean,lank fellow, who had been listening, I came up, saying: , 4 ' That's a remarkable incident, but nothing fo what I saw here in the bay about thirty years ago." “What was it? Tell us I” exclaimed the party, all at once. “ Well, you see the end of the pier over, there? I was out there in a boat with a friend. We had started out for a fish, and, had taken our guns with us to shoot ducks, if any should turn up, which was a commoa thing in those days. Well, we hadn’t boea there long before I, in some way, dropped my powder-horn overboard, and it sank in i thirty feet of water. There it lay on the iboltom in plain sight. My friend said the would dive for it. 1 tried to persuade him not to. but he was determined. I noticed he didn't take off his powder-horn, and before 1 could call attention to it he was-in the •■water. I waited about twenty minutes.''; "Twenty minutes I" they allexclaiiped; " That's - the exact time, my friends. I held my watch in my hand and timed him. After twenty minutes I began to get a little nervous, and looked over the side of the boat; and what dp you think I saw ?" “ I suppose your friend lay on the bottom —drowned,” ventured-one. “No, you are wrong. Here is where ho showed his, presence of mind and ; dirty, 1 thieving disposition. ' There he sat jat the bottom, pouring the powder out of my hor ■ into his own; find whistling 1 That is what t consider a remarkable instance of a; man's .presence of’mind;” • No reply was made by any of his, listeners, but each one quietly got up, looking suspiciously at the stpryteller, and left him alone;-master of the situation. ANECDOTES. A rather witty retort was recently, given by a Tipperary cooper when asked' what Ireland was like; With true Hibernian wit he said" Ireland is a place of punishment, where the Irish people must suffer; for a time before they can go to America.” The Bishop of Liverpool, when hereached his appointment one Sunday by means of a cab, said to the driver; "I hope; myi good fellow, you go to church regularly.” "j Well, I should, sir,” replied the man, “if it wasn't for driving the likes of you”’ - 'Erin is not always appreciated by thr British Army. A short time ago the—. Regiment of Dragoons relieved the-—!Kegi-ment of Lancers on Irish service. The de- - parting'and incoming regiments passed each , other on the North Wall, Dublin (place ol embarkation), the band of the incoming regiment playing " Come back to Erin," that of the one marching out, "Nqt for Joe,." Nasmyth, the inventor of the steam'hammer, one day answered an advertisement for employment with a large shipbuilder. , One of the partners began chaffing him about his name: He said, "Ye canna use a hammer, for your nae smith, as yer ain name fells." Nasmyth replied, " Yer ain name tells a lee mair than mine,’ for, tho’ ye call yersel* Elder, yo’re only a bit laddie. But I’ll let ye see, my hammer gie ae stroke that will send a spike farther into the,ground than a’ yer thousand men could do, though; they hammered for a hundred years." And he did it. , ' Didn’t Recognise his Own Wipe. —Some S musing anecdotes are related, of a learned ivine who was a very abserit-mirided'man. One day he was taking tea at the bouse of a friend, and became very much - interested in - conversation -with the host. He dradk his tea,-and the hostess, quietly filled;-his j cup; • this was repeated three times. Then shemodestly said, “ Shall I fill your cup, jar?",.. "Thank you, ma’am," answered,he, “I never drink more than one cup." This same gentleman had been a widower for several years, but after a time he married a young wife. One Sabbath morning, after the service was over, the bride walked up to the altar to accompany her husband, hpme.; He shook hands ’with herverycbrdially; and said, “Your fece is very familiar: to me, but really I can't call you by name." v . Doing Barnum.— The following story of Barnum is told by " Professor’ 1 ' Hutchings, the " lightning calculator. ’ ’ Barnum; used, to go at one time to a certain New iYork. barber/by name Higginson. One day the showman entered the shop in a hurry; and fonnd his particular chair being filled ;hy a . bucolic Irishman. “ I’ll pay for you if you will give fee first chance," said Barnum, addressing the son of Erin. It was a, bargain. But next day, when Barnum entered the shop, he was; presented with a bill for 7 ' dollars 50 cents. The Irishman: had scized the opportunity for a bath, a hair cut, an elaborate shampoo, whiskers trimmed; and curled; boots blacked, ytc. Barnum ipaid the bill! He also sought out the Irishman, - and gave him a season ticket to bis museum. The old showman dearly loved a jokb, even at hit own expense! EgUAL TO THE EMERGENCY.— -A good Story is told of the Duke of Portland arid the Duke ef Clarence and Avondale with reference to a Conversation they had with a street arab in London. Whilst walking down one. of the principal thoroughfares in the city, l the two dukes came across a first-rate specimen of the regular London street arab. The Duke of Portland, thinking of seeing a bit of fun, quickly called the lad to him, and said, '• My boy, I’ll give you half-a.crown if you’ll go and tip that policeman’s hat off.” The boy, thinking :he was joking,, said he would like to see the colour of the money first. Thq duke instantly pulled out a half crowq and gave it to the boy. So the bafgafe was made. Now came the fun. The lad crept away, rind, running as bard qs his legs could carry him qfter the policeman, jumped; up. behind him, au4 knocked his hat off, rolling |t into fhe 1 gutter. - As quick as lightning the 'f bobby" was after him, andm.ufew second* jhe boy vas collared. Qf course, he was asked whil.t be did such a ( thing for, etc. « Those two gents told me to do it," replied the lad, now almost in tears. Off marched 1 the policeman to the "two gents," taking with him the lad by the collar. Of course,, the duke readily admitted having paid the lad for the trick he had so, successfully played! "Your names," demanded the policeman, in a voice like a lion. *• lam the Duke of Portland, "said that "gent." "Now, some, no nonsense; let's have just your proper names without any bother,’! returned the constable. After having convinced the officer of the law that it was obrrect. he turned to the Duke of Clarence arid Avondale. and asked for bis name. Almost precisely the same conversation piricn betweeii these twe. - At last, satisfied as to’who they TfaUy were, tfc policeman turned to the tWy. arid said, " And what’e your,name?" >lfy nanw'a the Duke ot Westminster." rrilbridth* bid, "and 1 nriag toaMrikt«»y|a4! >,v