HUMOR, MORE OR LESS.

Poverty Bay Herald, Volume LII, Issue 1701, 17 April 1926, Page 10

HUMOR, MORE OR LESS.

THE PERSONAL TOUCH

Tbe profcss6r\had'"dsk'cd time and again for the students to put a more personal touch in their themes, so one of the papers which he received ended thus: "Well, professor, how are the •Wife', and kiddies? And, by the way, before I forget it, could you lend me five dollars?" . * * * * HIS SECOND. He had just arrived from the Old Country and was not familiar with the use of the telephone, so he took down the teceiver and demanded: "Aye vant'to talk to my vife." The- operator's voice came back sweetly, "Number, please?" "Oh," he replied, "she bane, my second vim." * * * * ' WRONGLY EXPRESSED. '"Yom*. hair wants cutting badly, sir,''said a barber, insinuatingly; to a customer. "No, if doesn't." replied the man in the chair: "it wants cutting nicely. You cut it badly last time." WHAT HE NEEDED. An old colored man was arraigned before a on Jt .charge, of assault. During the proceedings the judge asked hint if he wanted a lawyer appointed to defend him. i "No, no, Judge," he replied; "I don't want liO lawyer.; / But J siittingiyi\'Wp\ilri like: a" couple • of'gtibrp Witnesses, if you'got 'em." *■' . * * * WAITING FOR THE BA! Nurse: "On whom are they operating to-day'.'" Orderly: "A fellow who had a golf ball knocked down his throat at the links." "And who's the. man waiting so nervously in the hall? A relative?" "No;* that's the golfer—a Scotch gentleman. He's waiting for his ball." * •» * * MAKING PROGRESS. A bashful youug man was courting a girl, but lie was so backward in his love-making that she began to grow impatient: Finally, one night, whilo they we're taking a walk he summoned up courage to put his arm about her. "•Do you think I'm making progress?" he hesitantly asked. "Well, at least you're holding your own," was' the reply. *■# * * A SCOUT DOGGY GOOD TURN. The Scoutmaster was trying to form some idea as to whether his Scouts were carrying out their promise to perform at least one good turn every day. Calling the nearest Scout to him,, he asked whether he knew of any good turn performed by a member of his troop. "Ob, yes, sir," replied the Scout; "Pip did a good turn this morning." Scoutmaster: '.' I hope so; what was it?" Scout: "Well, sir, you know-Pip's old buldog, don't you?" Scoutmaster: '' Yes, I think so. It's the one- ho usually keeps on a double chain. What about it?" Scout: "Well, sir, Pip saw some of his schoolfellows' running to catch a train, and he thought they would miss it. so he chased them with his.bulldog. They caught the. train all right, sir." - ,