The Hired Convict.

Otago Witness, Issue 2840, 19 August 1908, Page 91

The Hired Convict.

"H© was 'never a convict — let alan^ a hired yin, Mr Macintosh," 6aid Mrs Eab

jto me. "It's fair libel — that's what, it is; and I've a mind to law him. Rab, noo that we have a lawyer handy. Minister and a' as he is, I've a mind to law him, and I'd j wish naebody elss but yerssl' for the case, Mr Macintosh." Our traps had stood on the roadside, I on my way to a sheep valuation, whilst Kab and his wife were making for the village to pick iip the half-y-ear's supply of groceries -and pay some calls. " Whe-esht, woman, whsesbt, it's the man's want of English, I tell 5-e. True enough, he cad me a hired convict, but he didna ken what it meant, I jalouse. They say h-e is powerful in Gaelic at 12, but at twa he's a fair scunner when tiie English begins." "A hired convict?" said I. "What on eaith did he mean? " ''It's his English, I tell ye." said Eab. " It's ordy -the other day, when he asked me to be an elder in the kirk, an' I said ' No,' he te'llt me I -was bushelling my light under a hide. . I tell ye the man meant nacthing when he cad me yon." " Weal," 6aid' Mrs B.ab, her fine old -eyes flashing in battle ardour — '' weel, if that's no libel, what ie libel, Air Macintosh, eh? Cad ye naething — eh: " ' Hoots, woman, hoots — h-aud ye noo, hand ye. Th-e wey o't was this, llr Macintosh. . The -Sunday afore last the minister, Mr MacCulloch, oor am man, :na/die what ye wad ca' a special effort, -here being a wh-een summer visitors at the inn. And he ga©d a bit wrang in his text ; =aie when I met- him through the week I to put him straight, kenning his English wasna as powerful as his Gaelic. Vnd then — and then he cad me yon thing." " Ah ! " said I, a light dawning on me. ■" What was it again? " "Hired — hired — dod, I* ve clean forgotten, Jean; what was it?" "Hired convict," snapped' out Jean. " Wasn't it higher critic, Rab? " I sxxg-geei-ed. " Dcd, ay, man. that wa6 it, critic or cricket. . . Hired critic, that was it. . . . That'll no' be very bad noo, will it?" he- asked cannily; his mind, doubtless, running on lawyers* fe«e. " Not at all ; a little joke, I would say ; that' 6 ail." "Nae joking aboot it." said Rab. "He va-3 rale angry. ' Hired critic,' cays he, and afT he -went in a bleeze." "Higher, not hired," I corrected. "Weel, 'higher critic,' cays he, and aff he went," sniffing and snorting." " What was the passage you fell out on, Rab?" " Ton aboot the Ethiopian changing his skin ,and the leopard his spots," _ interpolated Mrs Rab. "Ay," said Rab, "that was it. . . I was fair affronted — afore a.' yon summer visitors, too. He just gaed oot the text, and then followed up wi' a discoorse on. leprosy. And when I tellt him through the weeic that it wasna leper but leopard, h& got fair wild .and snapped me. ' Ho, vies,' says he — ' yiss, yiss, I see you also_ will pc wan "of the liighe? critics. Mr \Kinnaird,' and aff he gaed, jus.t bl&ezing wi' angrer." By this time Mrs Rab's a-uddy cheeks were reflecting the jjrin on ray own face, and infecting Rab himself to laughter. She shook the reins on Daoplo's back. "Naething libellous "-efter a', Mi- Macintosh, I can see," she said. " Gee-up, 3>aiple! . • • Guid day to ye, sir." — J. S. A.