The little Brown Fellow.

Otago Witness, Volume 23, Issue 2684, 23 August 1905, Page 80

The little Brown Fellow.

Admiral Dewoy at a dinner in Washington praised the quickness and the nimbleness of the well-trained sailor. "Did you ever hear," said Admiral Dcwey, "of the sailor who turned ehepherd? Well, this sailor, wearying of the bleak, cold seas, gave up his ship, packed his kit and journeyed into Scotland, for his grandparents had been Scottish, and the love of the heather ran in his veins like wine. In the towns of Scotland there was Idttle to do, but in the country lie was told work was plentiful. There was a, demand in the ccuntry for good shepherds. So the sailor went into the wild, forsaken Scottish uplands, and at the farms along the way he asked for a shepherd's place. One farmer, the fourth one, needed a shepherd, and he looked the sailor over. " 'Man,' he said, 'ye* re bonny and strong and intelligent, and all that ; but, man, whaur's yer sheep-dog?' "'I hitve ro sheep-dog, 1 said the sailor. 'I am no lumbering lubber that must have his herding done by a dog for him. I can herd sheep without a sheep-dog.' "The farmer laughed a dry laugh. " 'To may have » try at it if ye lik«," he said. 'Do ye see on yon mountain all thae sheep like little white balte o' cotton wool? Weel, man, I want all thae sheep — an' there's just three hoondred o' them — brought into thae pens here by 6 o'clock to-morrow mornin'. Can ye do it?' " 'To be sure I can,' said ihe sailor, and without wasting any more words he pulled off his shoes and set off for the mountain to herd the sheep into the pens. "Well, at 6 the next jnorninpr. when the fanner came to the sheep-pens, he expected to find them empty and the sailor gone. The eailor, though, sat en a fence smoking his pipe, and in the pens the sheep were gathered. " 'Man,' ?aid the farmer, 'ye've done weel without a dug. I'll coont 'em.' "He counted the sheep, and they were all there. But a big, brown, active hare, wild wiiih fright, hindered his counting sGmevhat, it ran co swiftly to and fro. " 'What is that chap doin' here?' the farmer said. " ' Oh,' said the sailor, taking the pipe from Ms mouth, 'you mean that little brown feller? Well, sir, I can tell you one thing, he give mo more bother than all the rest of them cut together..' \

The Borrower and the Donkey. Miss Kate Carl, the American girl wha has painted the portrait of Tsi An, the dowagee empress of China, said recently of her royal sitter: "Tsi An, notwiohstanding her age, is active and strong. Her are bright and her mind is keen. She laughed a good deal wh'le I was painting her, and now and then, through an interpreter, she told me a Chinese story. "Something', one afternoon, was said about borrowers. Tsi An, declared thatj chronic borrowers were a nuisance. " 'They ought to be put down,' she saidL 'Do you know how Ming 0 Tong once put! one -lown ." " 'No,' said I. "Then the Empress said that Ming O Tong owned a grey donkej of which he was proud, for it was strong, swift, and off a noble temper. "One day the chronic borrower of th© village called upon the young man. " 'Most nobla/ he said, 'will you, of your goodness, lend me your grey donkey for the afternoon?' " ' Willingly,' answered Min>g, 'would I do -this ; but, exalted friend, the fact is that my servant took the grey donkey this morning to drive to a distant place, and he will not return before nightfall.' "The donkey all the while was browsing on cabbages in the garden. Ming had hardly ceased speaking- before it let out an ear-splitting bray. " 'Lo,' said the borrower, reproachfully-^ 'Lo, Ming, the donkey's \oioe.' "Ming frowned. " 'Would you,' he cried, 'prefer a donkey's word to mine?' and he drove the borrower! fiom his door wi*;h loud reproaches." Frae M'Spurtle. Toronto, June 5, 1905.. Dear Dr Stewart: — Man, but this has been an unco sain string for rheumatism. I hae aye obsairved that when the mune's fu' i' thai aifternune, three days afore the saicand Friday o' April, wi' the win' frae the nor'wast ac hauf o' the day, an' frae the sootheast the tither hauf, we're sure to ha« extrornar wather o' mair kin's than an© atween that an' St. Bauldie's Day, on th© echt o' June, unless you see the. corbies fleein' north aboot the en' o' Mairch, in whilk oase things get turned roun' a'thegithcr. But the fac' o' the maitter is, as I maunt alloo, that the auld signs dinna seem io da© their wark as weel's they vise to dae. an' I'm thinkin* whiles that thig maun be on account o' sac mony electrishical arreengements o' different kin's athortJ the country, interferin' wi' the laws o* Natur an' the wull o' the Almichty. I made a, remark to oor Governor-General, Earl Grey, ihe ither day to this effeek, when he was introduced to me by Lieute-nant-Governor Clark, at his am requeeshfr, sayin' he would feel prood to mak' ray acquantance aifter the races were ower, for, you ken, he had come a' the gait fra« Ottawa to see Colonel Skinner's filly, Rankpoozhon, rinnin' for the King's Plate, wfcate'er that may mean. "You're quite right, my friend Mr M'Spurtle," says he, "for I remember my gran'father telling me something about this in Northumberland," says he, "but my impression is," says he. '"that he said it was St. Cuthbert's Day," says he, "and, if I am not in error," says hi 3 lordship, "I am of opeenion he spoke of] crows and not corbies," says he. "It's a' ane," says I— "craws is juisfc corbies, an' corbies is craws," says I, "an,* as faur as the saints gang, ane's aboot as quid's anither," says I, "an' what's mair " Here his lordship interruptit mo wi' the quastin, "Had you anything up 2'?>' ?> sajs he. "Ony what, whaur?" says I, for I was fair dumfoonert. "Didn't you place your odds on Rank* poozhon?" says his lordship. "Ye're ayont my depth, your lordship," says I, "but may I speer whatna- kirk youi gang till in Ottawa, whaur you bide?" saya I, an' juist as the words cam' oot o' my, mooth up cam' a flunkey-like cratur wi' a> muekle eunvelope i' the ac ha;m', an' his lum hat i' the ither, an' makin' an unco laig-h loot, lie gied the eunvelope to tha Governor, wha read the contents o't i' twa; winks o' your e v e, an' says ho to me, "Mi; M'Spurtle, my friend, shake hands — this is, as the author of the 'Maple leaf for ever*' would say, ' great, and grand, and glorious' news — the Japanese have defeated th« Russians at sea," says he. "Admiral Togo? is jubilant," says he. "This telegram ia from himself," says he. ''He is a personal friend of my own," says he; "and," saya he, "you are the first man in the Dominion of Canada, forby myself, to be made aware,' of 'the great, and grand, and glorious'event,"' an' he gaed awa' lookin' as proodtj as a bairn wi' a new daiddlie an' a sticks o' baurley s\igar. This is hoo I cam' to r ' ken aboot (he Battle q' th-3 Sea o' -Jaciax.

l^n or twal 'oors afore it cam' oob i' the 'Globe. As I'm no' what they ca' a diplomat, I canna be expeckit to be sac heighcocka- j lorum ower the victory as my frien' the Governor-General, but I may be allooed to say I'm no' ill-pleased anent the result, or what Kebback "would ca' "the consummation o' the naval engagement,"' mair espeoially in view o' the important fao' that Maister Togo got his eddication i' the British navy. Noo, w-asna that a great blessin'? Had he gotten't, say, in Obile, or Brazeel, or Mexico, what a fracaw the Chilians an' the Brazilians an' the Patagenians an' the Mexicans would b© makin' nco ! A' their papers would b© fu' o' brags aboot it. It would juist be, "We reckon if Togo hadn't gotten his eddication right here in God's country, the Rooshians wrfa have knocked' him out clean," and 'Th/s is th© alljofirinesfc great country on- the top of th©' ground in the hull great univareal airth," an', "You bet, we've the Best navai training colleges in the world, and Togo knows it," an' ,"Togo_ knew what he was a-doing when be cam" richt to this 'country to get p'inters in, modern, up-to-date firing," an' "&itra; an' sitra, an' sitra. But Great Britain, you see, does nae crawin' o' that kin,' altho' she haes a fin© chance the noo to be unco croose. Hcosomever, vre^dae naething o' th© kin'— we juist say <( if; was a great blessin'," an' that's a' there is aboot it; sac different frae the Patagonians an' sic-lite. "Aiblins," says Mungo Kebbiiok, "the Jans 'U mak' Togo a pra&ent o' a muckle jinriksha," says he, "an then he can gie't ower to Mistress Togo for a Boodhisfc 'Temple," says h©; fra v/hilk, as faur as I can mak l^ 001, a jjnriksba maun bfr'a gran big hoose. I haena fceard frae General Kuroki ony mair than frae John S. Maoiaab for lihe f^ek o' sax months, an' the last letter I had frae Nicholas II wasna what onybody wad expec' frae a gentleman, for he said as muokle as that he thoeht I was an auld fule, .-but that in spite o' that, gin I cared, to gang yont, he could fin' accommodations for me a' the province or gover'ment o' Chistimtiihtoovsk, but when I speer'd at oor minister whauraboot that was, I fan' oot that it was awa' i' the maisfc northerly pairt o' Seeberia. . . "We're haein a byor'nar poleetical collieehangie owre here awa' ihe-noo. You see, there's sac mony fowk takin 3 up lan in Alberta an' ither pairts Wast, that the intention's to mak' twa. new provinces oot o' what's T>een three, by sowtherin' them tip a wee; but qor.Primeer, Sir Wilfrid TJaurier, has juist dun© as the tinklers da© whan you gie them a tin dish- to cloot;. that's to say, tßey.sowther the. auld holes, an' mak' twa'r'hee new anes, an' this is. ony thing but honest wark^ He says, "I'll gie you this," an' I'll gi© you that, but ,you maun dae mybiddin' anent your sohules.. an' -hoo" they're' to'- -be -conduckit." I had a word- or ,two. wi' \Kebbuck Qto. the; subjeck - the. nicht afore iast ower. ae quaich'an' sue znair o' G-leniiyat, .an' Bis opeenion. is .that - Sir . Wilfrid . haes fprfitit a', bis- claims to be ca'd-a Lceberal; that, in reality, h©'s a reactionist, a, Bourbonist, an' I-dinnaJcen what a', but, at onyrate, a ?ram. that n*e genuine Leeberal can nor should' support. I maun say, for my am. pairt, altho I m Eae politeecian, that I ne'er thoeht he •would gang as faur aglee as. a wheen o' us mak' oot'he's dune; but we'll hae time to turn ower the maitter in oor pows afore we hae anither chane© to vote for or against him; an' Kebbuck declares that gin we're baifch. leevin' at that time, an' L& hears that I hae gien Laurier my support, he'll shoot me as deed's a her.rin', gin he should hing as heigh as Haman fox the jdaein' o't. . Wather's fine here the noo, an it s expeckit we'll hae atween seeventy-five an' a hunner million bushels o' No. 1 har.d wheat aff this crap gin a' gangs weel. It's reportft that mair than a thoosan' o' sefc»er% hae gaen frae the States to oor Norfeh-wasf this year, an' that there's" room for nearly as mony mair. I whiles wonder gin this is no' a streeoher. What think you youreel'? I see the TJnitit States yacht won the Atlantic ocean race. I aye thoeht as muckle mysel, but I'm o' the opeenion that gin she hadna haen Oaptain Baar o' Gourock for her skipper she micht hae come in at the hinner en' o' the procession. Mm' me to a' I ken in New York, an' to a' that kens me, an' you'll vera muokle obleege, - ' Yours truly, • Anoebw M'Spurtie, at ac time o' Auld Kiltuiliegorraeh. »pScotlash-American. - "