Talking Machine in China.

Otago Witness, Volume 23, Issue 2684, 23 August 1905, Page 80

Talking Machine in China.

—Almost a Riot When It Wouldn't Work

In One Up-cowntry Village. —

""Those who .haye reviled the- talking machine," said Henry M. Blackwell, an engineer, "would haye v been properly rebuked if they had witnessed a scene that attested its popularity with 'the heathen Chinee. Z "Three years ago I " was with a small of surveyors who, were laying out -fche line of the railroad between Hankow and Canton, arid one day found us at Chushachow, a small village. A talking machine happened to be a part of our equipment, as it had proved more efficient in placating the Celestials than a squad of soldiers.

"Though our party had taken a long jump into Chushaohow it became plainly evident that news travels from mouth to mouth as quickly as by telegraph, for a crowd of several hundred chattering Chinamen gathered outside of our quarters and awaited a concert. They didn't make any request ; they simply waited for what they considered their rights. "One of our military escort told us what his compatriots wanted, and when we nnveiled the talking machine with great ceremony it received more reverence than an ancestor's tomb. But the machine kicked and refused to play. Whereupon we informed our self-invited guests, through the interpreter, that the entertainment was off.

"Muttering arose from the crowd, and a spokesman addressed the interpreter, deolaring that there had been unfair discrimination, and that if then- soiereign rights ivere withheld they would 'get hunk.' When the little file of soldiers attempted to disperse' them the uproar became deafening, and the engineers rushed out to find an incipient Boxer outbreak.

"Several coolies made a hostile move tcward the house, probably to take the machine apart and extract the foreign songs from it. The Chinese soldiers kept their "" heads, straage to say, and when the~ebxilliticm of Chinese curiosity began to evaporate, they dispersed the rioters and hauled off several to the lockup.

"No prima donna ever got the tribute js,id to that weather-beaten talking machine. We sat up half the night tinkering around the mechanism until it rasped, off

the records of 'coon' eong and comio opera trifles. "The next morning a larger crowd wae present at the concert, and ( departed grateful, awestruck and satisfied. This musical event was unattended, however, by three of the riot leaders, they being detained in the caiaboosf, a3 the magistrate had sentenced them to be suspended by the wrists for +8 hours Every innovation is bound to have its martyrs." Cheerful In Everything. "The truth is a scarce article nowadays," remarked a business man the other day. "Nine persona out of ten seem to think nothing of telling a lie, even when there is no reasonable excuse for it. My bookkeeper came down to the office an ho\ir late this morning, and when I remarked about it he began at once to etammer excuses. " 'My watch stopped and I missed my train, 1 he said weakly. " 'Is that the only reason?' I asked. '"Then the ferry got -"blocked and was delayed, and I took the wrong car, and " 'Slse here,' I said, 'what in thunder is the ule of your attempting to string me with those old gags? Tell the truth, man, and confess that you were out late last "night, and overslept.' S " 'No, sir ; it wasn't that, he protested. 'The fact is, our baby had the colic last night, and I had to walk the floor with him until * o'clock this morning. I didn't get much sleep, and, naturally, I "did .not hear the alarm go off. I'm sorry, but " " 'There, that's more like it,' I said. 'Why didn't you tell me that in the first place? No-.v you go right home and make up your sleep*" You can have a day off.' "The man thanked me very heartily, and went off. I felt sorry for him, because I had. been in the same' fix myself when my children were young. I lost that sympathy, however, an hour later when a telephone message came, inquiring for the bookkeeper. " 'Are you his wife?' I asked through the 'phone. " 'jSTo-o, not yet, but we re engaged^ lisped a feminine voice at the other end. The Word " Nitshero." —Does More Service Than Any Other in the Russian Language. — The one- word that does more service than any - other in the Russian language, says a writer in the Contemporary Review, is "nitchero." It means "nothing," or, rather, "it is nothing." Most often it is heard as a deprecatory rejoinder to an expression >of thanks, like the English "Don't mention it." But there seems to be no situation in Slavic life that does not resolve itself into nitchero. A 1 Russian diplomatist once said that when Bismarck served as Prussian, Ambassador in St. Petersburg he wore an iron ring with "Nitchero" engraved on it. Somebody asked him what ths word signified to him. Count ' Bismarck replied, "All Russia." Asked to explain himself, ho told this story:— , ' . One fime "when he was driving to a bear hunt over a mountain trail the moujik who held the reins drove co wildly that he came near dashing the sleigh to pieces. "Look out there," said Count Bi6marck, "or you will kill us!" The moujik only shrugged his shoulders and said, "Nitchero." Hie driving became more furious than ever. "If you don't take more care, shouted Bismarck, clinging fast for dear life, "I shall be tossed out of the sleigh!' "Nitchero," responded the driver. Presently one of the runners struck a rock, the sleigh upset, and the horses, shying, backed the overturned sleigh into a deep ditch, where it broke through the ice. Count Bismarck rose from the wreck, his face bleeding from bruises. In his wrath he turned on the moujik and threatened to thrash him. But as be advanced on the culprit with uplifted whipstock ihe man met him with an apologetic smile, and. wiping the blood from Bismarck's forehead, said soothingly, "Nitchero, barm." Count Bismarck burst out laughing. He considered the incident so characteristic of the Russian character that he had the ring made from some of the wreckage of the sleigh, and henceforth adopted the word "nitchero" for his talisman while in Russia. Mrs Caindington on Advertisements. "The papers alius astonishes me with their advertisements,"' remarked Mrs Camdington: "not as I reads 'em reg'lar — by no means,— but they are surpriging. There's advertisements of all the theatres and all ths musio halls and all the concerts, and luxury travels' to foreign and announcements how someone ain't going to pay no bills run up by his wife, which I leekoJO, i§ scandilous and unhuabandli.

But I'm referrin' particular to them advertisements of the music publishers and the pianner makers and them voice prodooesra, which the last is beyond me. I reckon I learnt how to breathe when I was a babo and suckling, and likewise to use my voice in a nat'ral manner, and I don't v ant no me to throw big words at me about my diagrams and coster .mussels and such things, and how I'm to use my earkofagus, though it's true there's no mention of these things in the advertisements, only in the books they've wrote. I've no notion what they mean by artistic- breathing, but you'll notice, Alice, that some parson has wrote a book on it. Then there's advertisements telling how Signerina Parasoli has returned to town and resumed her singing lessons. Perhaps she needed 'cm — and other 3 about teaching, recitings and gesters, which, to my mind, is all right for foreigners, but ain't considered good form for Britishers, while recitings is, to my mind, monotonious and unnee'esary.

"Then there's columns of announcements about promenade concerts, where you have to stand wedged agin taller people than yerself and -no chance of breathing, let alone moving — just as if you was in Fleet street on a Lord Mayor's show day — and the music is all fiddles and drums, but chiefly cornets, which is too close to the ear to 'ear with pleasure and pride in the genius of our native compogers. "The songs which, is all the rage is all put in the advertisements. There's "Won't yer come "ome, Bill Bailey?' 'When father laid the mattress on. the stairs,' and TU give him one to-night,' and such-like ditties which Alice perfesses to ignaw. Besides them she is always talking of songs about gardens and roses and stars and love, which, mind you, is always to be sung on some pier or jetty or concert hall, where people goes to hear 'em at ten and sixpence ahead, and no money paid for the tickets.

"But not the lea^t interesting to me is the advertisements of pianners which costs new sixty guineas, and is to go at eight pounds for cash 'cos the widow lady is leaving for foreign parts, or the pianner which cost twenty-five guineas new and can be changed for a 10 horse-power oughtermooil and cry quits. The pianner makers' advertisements is scarcely worth reading, 'cos they saya nothing about Ihe goods themselves same as you'll find in ' Keiser oats' or 'Pale beans for bilious people.' But there's one thing to be said about them pianner advertisements, they're dignified though they be dull.