"There's Something on the Mat."

Otago Witness, Issue 2401, 8 March 1900, Page 65

" There's Something on the Mat."

One hot summer Sunday Mr Fletcher, the brother-in-lnw of Lady Bancroft, a great student and omnivorous reader, was left alone in his little flat in Victoria street, with his pipe and his beloved tomes. His wife had gone out to visit her friends. There was no one in the flat but Fletcher, deep in some volume of unfathomable learning, save ono of the maids, who was in her room making herself smart for her " Sunday out " with her young man. Fletcher tias suddenly aroused from his literary reverie by the ringing of the e'ectric bell at the Lall door. For some time he paid no attention to it ; but, as ihe ringing was repeated aa:ain and again, he put down his book and stalked .slowly and majestically to the door. Se opened it, and, glancing downwards, discovered a miserable little cockney, standing outside, looking like nothing on earth. In shape and style lie resembled a Liliputian Sam Gerridge on Bank Holiday, with a tie that made one squint, a bowler hat leaning gracefully on one side, trousers that would have "fixed" the most unobservant, a coat like Joseph's of many colours, the reddest cabbage rose eyes ever rested on adorning his buttonhole, and a half-smoked penny cigar in his mouth.

" His Miss Heliza Spriggings at 'ome ? " demanded the eccentric atom.

Receiving no answer to this astounding question, the midaefe repeated it.

"His Miss Ueliza Sprigsrings at 'ome?"

Fletcher calmly surveyed this extraordinary specimen of humanity in dumb silence. Then, slowly' and majestically as before, he stalked to Eliza's bedroom door, and knocked. "Who's there?"

No answer, but repeated knocking. Eliza opened the door and perceived her master. "Yes, sir?" "Eliza," said Fletcher, jerking his thumb over his shoulder in the direction of the halfopened hall door, " there's Something on the mat!" And then back went the student to his books and pipe without another word.