A MODERN HERCULES: BEING THE STRANGE ADVENTURES OF CORPORAL GROMMET.

Otago Witness, Issue 2240, 4 February 1897, Page 42

A MODERN HERCULES : BEING THE STRANGE ADVENTURES OF CORPORAL GROMMET.

♦ By Guy H. Scholefield.

III.— HOW THE CORPORAL TAPPED THK HONOUR OF THE BRIGADIER GERARD. In the first years of this century we heard much of Napoleon's vaunted cavalry officer, Etienne Garard. Much of the current braggadocoio from across the narrow straits about the Emperor's marshals and his puppets went unheeded, for with the French tall talking and boasting were part of tbe art of war and the attainment of la glrire. But this repute of the Brigadier's was so persistent, and so seldom mot with ridicule from our highest military and naval men, that I was constrained to think he bad some claims upon the public esteem. Whenever we came near Franoe or the French the question arose, " Was tbe brigadier near ? " and upon that eeemed to hang our hopes of success. Such humiliation 1 To bow to one Frenchman, even the Emperor, who really was a great man, was dishonourable in the mere thought. I had never met the Brigadier, but I oannot say that I was an utter stranger to him, or be to me. I confess I looked on him with no favour. I was accustomed to bsing diicussed myself at every barrack, bivouac, and camp in Europe, and I saw that, unless I should soon meet the great demi-god on even terms and vindicate my reputation, I should lose my proud position and be overshadowed by him. This galled me — to be overshadowed

by one I had never met and crossed arms with. He had opportunities ; I was jealously ourbed and deprived of all opportunities to distinguish myself. Ddßpite all I had heard of Gerard I was not afraid of him — far from it-. I judged that he would be a man of honour with whom I oould cross sabres equally and fight on my merits, fearing no mean strokes. Moreover, I was roassnrod by what Napoleon himself, best judge of men and soldiers in Europe, had said to his marshals: "Give me Gerard to win Europe, but Grommet to fight England 1 " Our fine qualities — mine and the Brigadier's — were disousied in all the Courts ot Europe, and even in those of Asia. For instance, when Napoleon threatened to invade India and overrun the East, the native chiefs were in great consternation, and ont of the greatest of them, the Bajah of Soinde, asked the advice of our officers as to the best method of defence. " All you have to do," was the answer, " is to make fine offers to the Frenchman, Gerard, or to Corporal Grommet, either of whom will, io bis presence, preserve your territory from attaok." " But," urged the Rajah, " Gerard is our enemy." " Fronohmen can be bought. Still, If you engage Grommet you need fear nought of Gerard." Yes, my friends; at every bivouac on the Continent, at every palaoe, and in every diet we have been disoussed ; and, though my modesty almost forbids me to make mention of it, public favour wa« on my side. The opportunity came. We bad brought Wellesley's small force for the Peninsula from Cork, and, passing Ooranna and Oporto, landed them at Mondego Bay. I, Corporal John Grommet, had a boat in the landing flotilla, aud, most unfortunately for me, one of my seamon slipped me and made for a Portuguese wine shop in the town. I could not leturn on board without him, and undoubtedly had I gone to recover him the whole orew bad disappeared. But my ready resource served me. I sprang on to the beaob, ordered the boat to lie off for me, and dashed after the runagate. For some minutes I followed his footsteps with ease. They they disappeared. I appealed to the Portuguese loungers. They protested they had not seen him. Probably they thought he had plenty of money about him. At last a peasant set me on bis trail up a stream towards Sale.a. I was loth to follow further; but my duly bade me, and I must -ay. Tr,e night was comicg down ; the breeze was freshening iutu a gale, and heavy clouds brewed mischief over the point. It wrb hard walking along those stony roads, and I made inquiries and refreshed myself at" many of the wine shops and taverns dotted along every mile of the highway, where the besi. Estrenmluras were served, and where th» peasants stared at me with languid eyes as I approached. The country folks at these taverns were most generous, regaling me at their expense— and they were needy enough — eivinpr me information and cheering me as I lef c. But these pleasures did not deter me. I was still on duty, and until tbe night closed in and the tempest that had threatened all day burst upon me I had fully intended to return to the frigate with my capture. The rain oame down in torrents, clouds datkened the sky, the wind blew fitful gusts of mud and water into my faoe, and I could just discern far abead what I took to be the lights of the next tavern. Planning and conjuring in my mind my oourae of action I battled with the storm and stood for the lights. I was soon conscious of a figure passing between me and them, for they flickered as tavern lights do not flicker ; but, j as no sound of footsteps or hoofs was heard, they must have held the iame course as I did. As I drew nsar to the inn I heard shouts and songs, and believed that a drunken revel was in progress inside. Making my way to the window I peered in. A small room ; a fire blazed and craokled in a rough grate, before which some Spanish soldiery and a big hussar — French, I suspeoted, and a prisoner— stood smoking and laughing. Some 4.0 Portuguese and Spanish peasants and soldiery lounged, stood, and lay about the room, nursing mugs and arms promiscuously, and for the most pert apparently unconscious of what was passing. Among tbe carousers was my man, the deserter, drunk, and entertaining the party I I was tired and longed for a drink and a sleep. My mind wax made up in an instant. Bousing myselE to a pUch of terror I rushed to the door, burnt it in, and standing on the threshold I oried in apparent great affright : " The French ! Tbe French I Laborde I Loisson'g hussars 1 Los Francesos 1 Hola 1 " The drunken soldiers started, stood transfixed and stared for a moment in amazement, and then, comprehending my words, they cast down mugo, bowls, pipe?, and arms and made a frantic scramble for the door. All was uproar and confusion. It was superb. I was in my element — standing on boards with everything flying before me. I was oarried out ia the rush, and returned at my leisure as soon as the room was empty. Then I entered. Carelessly closing tbe door behind me, I took a deep draught of the vile aguardiente from the great bowl, thrust a rusty bayonet through the embers, and seated myself on a bench before the fire. As I sat musing I saw in the flames kingdoms rising and falling; rising on the shoulders of a British seaman, falling on the rusty arms of the Spanish soldiery. Presently I started at the sound of footsteps at the door, then some clumsy knocks and a rattling at the latch. Drawing my cutless I rushed forward, to be confronted on the steps by a great bouncing Frenchman in hussar uniform— tall, full chest, straight legs, heavy otvalry moustache. I had seen him before. He it was who had stood by the fire as I looked in at the window, and he, first and foremost, had quailed at word of tbe French and fled from the tavern. Now be appeared in a different light, and I gue»«rd immediately that he was the bloated cavalier, Gerard. As he appeared to me then, there was more of the uncouth Walloon Infantry about him than of tbe dashing cavalry officer so often pictured to me in every British grogshop and forecastle by malicious and envious sailors. His eyes were inflamed, cheeks , 1 sunken and furrowed, and he was in now '

plight. His sword-belt was empty, pelisse torn and dirty, busby tattered and awry. I was a much bettor man than he. "Etienne Gerard 7" I said, addressing him. " Oui, monsieur, Brigadier-general Gerard. La, gui vous" He waa twirling his mouataohe as he spoke, but he stopped abruptly and cast a furtive glance at the mugs on the table. I fancy he had been drinking, heavily too. " John Dlpmedei Grommefc," I said. " Corporal," he replied, with something of sarcasm, far insidious tongaos naver failed to carry with my fame the f *ot that I was just a corporal. I bore tbe insult ill, bat further believing from his discourtesy that he had been drinking I feigned not to bare heard, and, restraining myself, beokoned him, to be seated. With a look ol suspicion he drew up bis bench, and we sat gazing into the flames thinking— he of la gloire and the Emperor ; I of England. The wlud rumbled against' the rickety walls of the tavern with a sound like infantry crossing pontoons, the rain beat lustily against the windows, and the hail pattered harmlessly down the ohimney and melted into raindrops at our feet. It wm delightful to think of war. . " Brigadier," I ventured, when our silence had made the tempest sound all too boisterous, " I see a kingdom falling." He heaved a deep sigh of annoyance, and, still gassing into the flames, replied; "Oui? L'Angleterre?" " Spain," I oontinued, in a loud voice. " Oui 7 " "It falls on the tongue of a Spandiard, branded ' Corruption.' " "It falls by Franoe 1 " shouted the Brigadier In stentorian tones ; "by the Emperor's own hussars. By this arm," and he thrust bis sword arm forward towards the flames. " Liar ! " I cried. "It falls by renegade BritUher*. Franoe Is unable. It falls by MaoMakon, by Maodonald, by ORsilly ; by tht lowest of England, and not by Franoe l " We sprang to our feet. " Brigadier 1 " I said to oaution him, as he dapped his hand in Tain to his empty sword belt. " Corporal 1 " he replied with stinging sarcasm. I drew my cutlass and faced him. " Say more now," I said, wishing to give him fair warning, as a gentleman should. . He was silent. " Surrender I " I oontinued. " No. To none but Napoleon." " It is not within the province of a gentle? man to compel another to do what his honour forbids him," I said, relaxing my, attitude. He appreciated the obivalrous sentiment of what I bad said, and assumed an air of submission. I confess I was thankful for it. I took up a tankard and confronted him. - "Aadrink, Brigadier?" " Oft, oorporal "—and I had a mind to hurl (.. . ir.>u£ at hifl hoad. Then we dipped into the nugo bowl and drank in bumpers of murky aguardiente. I to " England and her wars, tbe just and rightful came." He ro " L'Empereur." " The bloody cause 1" " Oorporal 1 " he roared, lowering the mug from his lips. " Brigadier ! " I replied with exasperating coolneu. " Here's to England." My pewter was but half fall. He plunged his taakard again into, the bowl and drew it brimming over. "And here't to Franoe 1" he cried,-com-mencing to quaff the vile beverage. But my .patriotism was aroused, and I could no longer bear the insult. For the honour of England I flung tbe wretched tankard at his perjured head, sending the aguardiente flying over his palisxe. Still muttering "Here's to Franoe" — for they would seem to be eminently patriotic — he emptied bis mug and then made to rush upon me. But I had drawn my cutlass again and he sheared off. Yes, my friends, the vaunted soldier of France, the prime pride of Napoleon and of himself, and the idol of every French trooper, baoked down to me, Corporal John Grommet, at the very sight of steel. And be a man of arms ! "Surrender 1" I oried, drawing myself to my full 6ft Bin." , " Oui," he answered abjectly. . " Your word of honour, Etienne Gerard." " You have it, corporal." - - Then we drank again to one another, and sat before the fiie to dry our steaming olothes. We said little. I did, indeed, venture the remark "Franoe is falling," but the Brigadier made no reply. He knew m by that time. So we passed the night. Towards daylight we beard above the now abated storm the sound of a heavy artillery fire from the direction of Rolica, and we agreed that the British force bad attacked Loisson's and Do Laborde's cavalry and the Walloon infantry there. I said the French would be driven back, and he dared not dissent. When it was daylight I intimated to the Brigadier that he must prepare to accompany me to General Wellesley. He obeyed like a spaniel, and straightway constituted himself my groom. Going to tho stable, he brought out bis favourite mare, Violotto, and another great . bony brute that stood there. They were saddled with French hussar saddles, bridled and all. Meantime I returned to the tavern, and scribbled with a piece of ohalk on the table : " Here I tapped the honour of the Brigadier Etienne Gerard. — John Diomedes Grommet, corporal, R.M L.I. 16-17 August, 1808." Then I snapped a culchillo that lay on the floor, and plaoed It upon the table. The Frenchman volunteered to lead, and I followed. It was by the same road I had followed to come to the tavern. Presently we struck off to tbe left, and entered a village. The villagers were in great consternation, but they no sooner perceived that tbe Fr-n.;.. hussar wan almost unaccompanied than they set on to us with staves and stones, and raised a hue and cry that brought forth a few deierttr Spaniards from the houses armed with muskets and knives. Thereupon we drove spurs to our horses' flanks and set off towards Rolica, right into Loisson's cavalry. Then I found that I was ia the Brigadier*

power and be was false ; lor he never ceased to whistle a few bars he had been feeding , his conceit on earlier in the day. I found that it was the call' of his own hussars, for it fired the horses wonderfully. Suddenly we oame oat of a little ravine and discovered that we were directly in the line of fire of the British artillery. The cavalry of France were straight in front. There was ■ do help for it. For the last 50yds I could | scarcely keep the bony beast I bestrode beD*ath me/ Shot" flew thick abont as. The Brigadier was a fine whistler — you must know be was also a fine trumpeter— and. whenever my wretched mount lagged he tootled the devilish call in his earn. The , ranks of De Laborde's cavalry opened as we approached— fortunately, the Brigadier was first — and we jogged through as the hussars pounded past and closed in again behind. i We rode down to the Walloon infantry, who were drawn up iv line of battle. I was helpless now, a prisoner, my friends ; not of war, but of dishonour. I had tapped I the honour of Napoleon's own Gerard, his pet : puppet, and I was not loathe to give my j liberty for such an achievement. j Then I saw the Brigadier at his but. The ; Frenoh were driven back, and fled to tho ( mountain country, back 'by the road I, bad j taken the previous day, and we stopped at the same tavern, where tho Brigadier had friends. By heaven I how that great soldier j could run 1 I was under a guard of Loitson'* ■ horse; we cantered ; but I only clapped eyes , on him half an hour later in the tavern, j sUepitiff. Then I tapped him on the shoulder, roused him, and pointed to the cbalkiDg on the table. He shook with rage, rushed to the big wine bowl, and cast it holus-bolus on the table ; then rubbed the chalk from the boards with the sleeves of bis fine pelisse. " You see, Brigadier, the aguardiente took your honour," I said. " It shall bave its history, too, parbleu ! " and he twirled his moustache, glared fiercely at me for a moment, then heaved bis clumsy limbs on to a beech, and slept. I bad a .mind to tell De Laborde what I knew of Gerard, his bleared eyes, associating and, no doubt, intriguing with Spaniards, and his lost honour. But gentlemen cannot speak so plainly. There was still room for a little of the Brigadier's honour, and he showed it. He did not disolose to the Frenoh general or Napoleon- that I wa* the great Englishman, hi» rival. I half thought be did not relish comparisons by disclosing my identity. Hence I was not long held a prisoner of war, and had the satisfaction to carry the deserter, the cause of this great achievement, aboard the frigate, for he was captured at another wine shop. My friends, I bave a proverb — a pro- j verb I made as I rode by tho French kinglet j into Loisson'a lines at Rol : c*. Ie is this : i " Pride is the root of honour; conceit the grub at the root." If y friends, I am the first ; the second is Etienne Gerard. I have pride and I have honour ; he had conceit, and be lost bis honour.