They Won't Obey.

Otago Witness, Issue 2179, 28 November 1895, Page 55

They Won't Obey.

An American clergyman relates his experience: — "In the beginning of my pastorate in fehe new town I had an experience which taught, me the trulh of the siying that 'it takes two to make a bargain.' I had been requested by the bride to leave out tte word ' obey,' and I took it for granted that the groom was agreeable. When the bride promised only to lovo and honour him he gave a little start, but staerwiee paid no attention to it. When he pakl me my fan, however, he handed me 13dol, with the remi»rk, 'If you had done your work propvrly I'd have given you 15dol, but I'm deducting 2dol for the word you left out, and after this you'd better get the consent of both parties when you want to shorten the ceremony What's more, if "you keep a good watch hereafter, you'll see that she'll obey, whether she promised to or not.' " After that I was always particular to inquire of both parties as to whttber they would bave the ceremony cut or not. Oue thing I have always noticed is that the brides who insist on leaving out the promise are the ones who really obey, not only in spirit, but to the letter ; while those who willingly go through the old-stjle ceremony are the oueß who 'manage' their husbands. A case in point ia that of a farmer's daughter, who, after graduating and taking a degree in one of the principal E-istern colleges, and then holding a position for two years as editor of a prominent ladies' paper, returned to her oounbry home to be married to one of the leading politicians of the State. I took ifc for granted that a youug lady of her attainments and experience would insist on the new style of ceremony, but what was my surprise a few days before the wedding to h»va her call 'on me at the parsonage to enjoin me that I was on no account to leave out ' cbsy ' in the marriage ceremony, as she had heard I was in the habit of doiDg. • Why,' gaid she laughingly, • that would put Senator on his gu*rd at once, and as he's a very determined man he'd be sure te make me obey, while if I promise I'm quite sure I'll never have to perform.' I " That lady's husband is now well known ' throughout Araevica as a man ' whose wife has | made him,' yet she always stoutly affirms that 1 gho thoroughly believes in the man being the head of the house, while the wife should render loving obedience. " Where the groom himself, without prompting from the bride, suggests the omirsion of the word 'obey,' as Aratric.in mtn not uufreqnenfc!y do, I look upon that as a clever bit of policy on bis part. In tueh instances the bride usually does not notice the omijaion, unless she is informed beforehand that it is to be made. However, I remember & bride who refused to take advantage of -the kind tboughtfulness of the groom in this respect. When I asked her to repeat after me the simple promise to love and honour, »he of her own accord iuserted the word ' obey,' and I fancied I saw a twinkle in her eye as she did co. "About a year ago I made rather a ludicrous blunder in a marriage ceremony. It was not by omitting the word, but by applying it to the wrong person. The bride was an immense woman, tall, aud weghing over 200'.b, while the groom was an elfecainate-luoking man of less than half her wtight, and with h6nd comiDg up to the woman's shoulder. It occurred to me that the bride was better fifed to exact than to yield obedience, and I somehow spoke my thoughts aloud, asking the bride to 'love, honour, and cherish' the man by her side, while he, at my injunction, promised to 'love, honour, and obey.' Everyone present noticed the mistake with the exception of the parties most interested, who the next day sent me a pair of turkeys for my fee. " By the way, perhaps you are unacquainted with the fact that we American country clergymen are often asked to accept commodities of this sort in lieu of money ac fees. I have received loads of wood and hay, pigs, chickens, and even barrels of corned beef as a reward for my services."