The Lime Kilu Club on Fire.
The Committee on Personal Safstt Recommend New Rules.
In view of the recent disastrous conflagrations in the different parts of the eounfcry,th«Committee on Personal Safety of the Lima Kilt Olub have recommended as follows : No member of the Olub will be allowed fc» soratch a match on his leg in Paradise Hall. No smoking within ten feet of the wood box, which hasn't been cleaned out in threa year*. All ola.y pipes must have a brass cover with a hinge, and all cigara must be smoked over aa open tin pail. In case of a fire during a session of the Olub the janitor will consult with the guard in the ante-room, and ascertain if all escape has beea cut off by the stairway. If not, he will quietly move that thft meeting adjourn to witness a dog fight in the alley. If the stairway is one solid sheet of flame, which will probably be the case, the janitor will calmly proceed to raiae the alley windows and inform the meeting that there is do particular hurry about leaving. In case the members have to leave the hall by way of the windows .the safe will be thrown out first, followed by Elder Toots, Old Man Jackson, Gum Arabic Smith, and Bless Ma Taylor. Brother Gardner will by this time have a Boft spot to strike on, and will be followed by the other officers in regular order. In case there are any broken legs the victims will be carried into the nearest grocery for temporary treatment, and to be interviewed by tht reporters. Each one will claim that Paradise Hall was a roaring sea of flkmn before hswwild consent to leave it. In cR&e Samuel Shi srbttd bis
way to the window before his turn cunes, Giveadam Jones will be prepared to btretch him lifeless by a blow Iroui a sand club. If a fire takes place in the hall, outside of a meeting, the members will be expected to make their way there with all possible dispatch, and use every exertion to save the valuable books and relics and works of art.
It was further recommended that the hail be insured for six times its value, so that the Club would stand some show of securing actual damAges in case of a fire. Also, that the janitor remain for 30 minutes after the' close of each meeting and hunt around for sparks. In case he smells anything like burning cotton or old felt hat, he must remain until he discovers that the plumber next door is trying to kill the smell of sewer gas in his own house. The number of barrels of water in the ante- room was increased to twelve, and the janitor was instructed to enter into experiments to see if "a fire extinguisher for the lodgeroom could not be constructed from a nail keg, three feet of penstock hose, and a pound pack-
age of chloride of lime. The bean box was then circulated, and the following candidates were duly elected : Colonel Crofoot, Cog Wheel Baker, Hard Road Owen, Professor Smart, Elder Catosh, Bunion 'Jones, Down South Jackson, Husker Williams, Noah Porter, and Pompeii Parker The Librarian brought in a bill for 3dol 250 for two china cuspidors for the library, and a paper of brass-headed tacks. The bill was cut down to the cost of the tacks, and the official was warned that when a nail keg half full of Bawdunt was considered too good for his department his resignation would be accepted. Gem'len, we a,in now on de pint of retreatin' to our abodes, said the old man as the triangle sounded. "In passin' trew de shady lanes of lie it am well to bar in mind de fact dat a man
wid a No. 7 head kin work all around a man wid'.a No. 28 stomach. Judge no man by de amount of vittles he kjn put away, nor de space he kin manage to kiver on a street kyar." — Detroit Free Press.
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https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/OW18830428.2.83
Bibliographic details
Otago Witness, Issue 1640, 28 April 1883, Page 27
Word Count
678The Lime Kilu Club on Fire. Otago Witness, Issue 1640, 28 April 1883, Page 27
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