MR LOCKWOOD'S GRIEVANCE.

Otago Witness, Issue 1419, 1 February 1879, Page 33

MR LOCKWOOD'S GRIEVANCE.

During the last trip I took over the Pacific Railroad I noticed that after we left Omaha the man in the seat in front of me appeared to have something on his mind. He would scowl dreadfully for a moment, then he would gaze with a faraway look out of the window. Then he would draw a huge bowieknife from his coat pocket, and after strapping it on his boob he would run his thumb along the edge. After scowling a few minutes more he would take out a revolver, examine the chambers to assure himself that they were loaded, mutter a few vigorous sentences, and put it away again. I watched him a day or two, and at last he saw me looking at him. He said : " I reckon you think I'm excited about something? Well, I am. I'm going up to Salt Lake to kill a man." " Indeed ! How terrible ! What's the matter ?" " Well, you see— by the way, do you know Jim Stephens ?" "No, no! I think not." " Well, this is the way it camo round. Twelve years ago, Jim and I were friendß, and when I got married Jim made me a present of the most splendid silver cake-basket you ever saw in your life." "That's nob what you are going to kill him for, is it ?" "Of course not. And I felt so grateful that I took him by the hand and said : ' Jim, I'll get you a cake- basket as handsome as that whenever you are married, as sure as my name is Jonathan Lockwood.' Made him a solemn promise, you know." " Did he marry subsequently ? " "Marry? Oh thunder! Let me tell you about it. About a year after he went to Utah and became a Mormon. Within a month he sent me cards for his wedding with Hannah Wat3on. So I went out and bought a sublime cake-basket, and forwarded it by express. Two weeks later, be wrote to say that Hannah's sister had been sealed to him, and he aaktd me out to the wedding."

"Did you go?" "No; but 1 sent him another cake-basket. But hardly had a fortnight elapsed when Stephens telegraphed to me that as old Mrs Watson, Hannah's and Etholberta'a mother, seemed so lonely now that the girls were gone, he had concluded to annex her also, He promised to send full particulars by mail, That night a third resplendent cake-baskeb went in charge of the express company." "You have paid him three to one, then ?" "Three ! Wait till I get dene. Well, I heard nothing more from him for a year or bo, when one day cards came for his marriage with Louisa G. Carboy. I was pretty poor about that time and hardly able to make presents to anybody, but I had pledged my word, bo out went another imposing cakebasket."

"Did he get it?" " He wrote and said his darling Lousia thought it was beautiful j and he added a postscript, in which he mentioned that he had arranged for a further consideration, on Thursday, with Helen BUkersham, relict of old Bilkersham, the popular hatter."

" Did you respond ? " "I did, I borrowed some money from a friend, and forwarded the most stupendous oake-basket I could find. At the same time I wrote to him and aßked him if he didn't think it was most time to knock off. He replied, and aaid he was sorry I had such narrow views about matrimony, particularly as he had eveything ready for another marriage, on the following Tuesday, with Mary Jane Wilberforce, a charming girl of property. " You didn't send one to her, did you ?" "Of course ! Couldn't break my word. She got the most impressive cake-basket I could lay my hands on. Well, Stevens didn't atop there. That was two years ago. He has married eight times since, and I have come to time promptly with the cake baskets. Three days ago I received notice that he was going to marry again. " Again ?" " Yes, again ! That, you know, lets him out ! What does the man mean? Does he suppose I own a cake- basket factory, where they turn 'em out with a crank ? Does he suppose I have a mine where we excavate basket 3by the bushel ? Has he an id--a that cakebaakota grow on a tree, and that all I' va got to do is to knock 'em down with a pole when they are ripe ? Why, he's an unmitigated ass ! And as ho v/on't let me off from my promise, I'm going out to massacre htm. You understand ? In less than three daj a there'll be a dozen or so widows in Salt Lake City going to see a man named Stephens buried !"

Then Mr Lockwood turned gloomily away, sharpened his knife again on his b >ot, and. relapsed into silence. It was a little hard on him, I think myself.— Max Adeler.