RESPECT.

Otago Witness, Issue 657, 2 July 1864, Page 20

RESPECT.

(Frdm the " Saturday Raview ") In obitiiariee, especially of the country press, we constantly see announcements followed by the words " much respected," or very likely " universally respected" 5 and if we chance to have some acquaintance with the name thus honored, an opportunity is afforded us of measuring the idea of Respect with its familiar uses. We may perhaps have been ourselves in the way of seeing the deceased periodically in field, street, or market, in his shop or at his own door or in the proverbial gig j and if these endounters have beenfrequerit and periodical enough to constitute a habit of seeing, -we> find ourselves very willing to be classed among the respecters. To, see a man-'ofteri in the course of many years, so that' he shall be one of 'the features of a neighborhood (though only first discovered /to -be such when he is gone), and to know no particular harm of him, is in this point of, view to respect him; This, at leasf, cdnstitutea the* universal respect that attends so- many obsequies-— the respect which tollows the announcement that "oW Double is dead," or that " Ruggins the currycomb maker is lying in state," and^ which no one feels to be an overstraine&testimony to the virtues of the defunct. Wei do* not despise it, however. Let us rather hope,' for ourselves and our readers, that' we may not be undeserving it when our tufcn*. comes. Yet surely it bears very littlec relation to that incense which one might /almost call/the mqat precious and dearest homage that men can confer or receive, and'without which, at least, every other form-* of homage is imperfect. To be respected, to "be approached with; respect, to be treated' with respect, to be listened to with respect; to be spoken of with respect, in any genuine, honest meaning of the term, hto be distinguished in a very peculiar way. To deserve respect, what does it not" imply ? Even the power to respect wisely is a gteat quality, and almost constitutes a great character. Between persons thus endowed and ordinary " respectable people,"- as well as between those who profess to respect them, there is a distance which we wHl.not here attempt to define. Our business is with the quality of respect' where it is real— the only respect that any • body can caje'fdr who gets to the bottom of his desires, and which, as a craving, is even more universal than affection itself, and prior in" its claim. Respect is homage to the unseen part of us. In a certain sense it is 'an inalienable right— r|hat is, there is 80$etlihlg'in every man which ought to be'respecte'd, and which it is an injury and injustice" to him to slight. M, Victor Hugo;, in the pejiraon qf Valjean, represents this privation as th'e-most terrible to which lifers subject ; and those who persistently treat with disrespect the per3pn",Bubject to them are doing their best 'to 6fush the human element out of them and tQ reduce them to the state" of brutes

It is this- /necessity for respect" which prompts nien to confer it. We make kings and emperors ih recognition of: .something royal and ityp'eriatin ourselve3. All conferring of honofis, as we are constituted, a claim on our otfn ]sart ; and whenever^' man loses all experience or hope of respect in his own)- pei soil, he loses with it the power to respect,' For this quality is necessarily; a commodity of exchange— a social, coinage^!' .Whoever is ■utterly,, degraded in His r 'own '■ eyes becomes insolent' unless restrained by fear; in his, inmost' heart he is/jnsolent to the world. -Itr is impossible i|6 respect others while deprived of our own modicum of 1 deference • and ap-' preciation, which is a 'state of moral :6vii' lawry. Ttfere'are^perilsons- ,'who,:fliaugst. trained in tlie\ ordinary civilities of tlif^-are yet incapable;, of the' idea-"o£ fTespect-*~ a sort of cohyidts byh'a^ure"'/ lawless,' 1 ■■'lrre'-' verent, witnoW'lthr'irta^of.a.qtl'ar^et with societ^'Jßirt^nis l^ a^abjaetipal-and monstrous .to (be born with two hqgds is :aim<Sre- tolerable d.evia-J tion from soc^l order, than this iuTtelteetual crookedness;^ JiNobqdy^'^ri/'staria isjich beings, andni^ ynsd, tq ,'jfeuur lheVey r ' cept in a missionary spirit,., • Ordinary ".illnature and^J-feifa^eie ai^ys.act'in-conT tempt of .respect's,! ' , but "•..; these ;.aot ! i k ignorance. --Cheyt tire.idiill' arid,himbej?mg> in their atrdoitied 5 / nrid olutta^Ws^tboitt' seeming to^pw^ it^as'."^^"^'^^^^; aa Gavroches, ! tip'^-]ns, wiJ^,an4 J 4<sign'V and as unscrupulous ;as*tKe London street boy, withoufhis fun-'and malice; - History,' in great social/d isruptions, shows' sfidh people, safe^jp '$%"!. jnsensibility. () aga,ihst all reprisals^ ;'§nl(l, i nqjs' aai then we have an encounte^-,witn.,one ; ! v& them./by hear--say, or in onttowi^per&n/in whiclrcase there is a vatfiamfieseiaAk 'td"t'Ke ! thebry of tfansmigrlf of a cur or^'^pnke^mj t)jis^n a ture..,Bof dead to the/ dema.aaa pfirtimejjplace, .and presence ; o»i p.n'ev ofrithetribe ■of I Std'atf'dr 1 weasel is before u'^'crga'tuYe's' MricJFfci exasperatedm^^t^^claieatobe, of all the I#(srj'cfeatioii,'ni6sf coldly and insolently insensible to the awe and majeßty inherent in man.

• Short of all this, however, there are numerous forms of native disrespect more or less developed by circumstances. There ia the disrespect of low cunning, the disrespect of cynicism, official disrespect, patronising disrespect; and the disrespect of an extreme protuberant egotism which recognises no claims, no virtues, no standing but its own. Again, there is the disrespect of importunity. All professional beggars are without respect— not only those who clamour for alms, but those who make it a business i,o lay siege to their fellow-creatures' interest .or purse, and a virtue to take no denial. The difference between the wit and the butfoon is often this single one of respect. The buffoon, let him be what or where he will, whether the clown of a circua or the jester of the Hou3e of Couimons, always shows himself incapable of respect. He neither respects nor cares to be respected, and this failure of respect, where men are accustomed ■ to see it rigidly enforced, constantly parses for wit because it surprises. , I must have liberty ' « • Withal ; as large a charter as the -wind, To blow on whom I please ; for so fools have All transformations and disguises are .enemies to respect. People can do many things under a mask which would be "impossible to them in their own person. . All neglect of order and of the .usual deco-^ rums argues in the sloven or the lover of singularity some failure here. We have observed this in women who defy fashion. They do not know, nor indeed care to know the things they have a right to 'say, the subjects they may with propriety approach. There is the disrespect, too, of undue subservience — the ( disrespect of the tufthunter, who submitting to give respect without any requital in the circle into which he thrusts himself, indemnifies by an attitude of disrespect towards hia equals. Any person who is profuse of respect in high places is certain to be guilty elsewhere of counterbalancing impertinences. 1 Much intercourse with a man's social betters, even where it comes naturally, has always this tendency, which everyone will yield to who is not alive to it and vigilantly on bis guard against it. The world is never without examples of fatal influence of Court favor in this particular, even on the most blandly civil natures. Again, all sham respect relieves itself by insolence somewhere. The respect of the conventional beadle and flunkey is of this sort, for nature revolts against all respect that is not in its degree reflected back, that has no rebound, that is not given with a tacit understanding of some return. There can be no cringing or toady ing -without' a balance being struck — a perpetration, of disrespect as gross, to indemnify the man for his selfbetrayal. And, lastly, the characteristic of a mob is its disrespect. It is a crowd of men deprived by contact and excitement of their respect. ' Nothing and nobody is safe from its tongue or its arm ; it is ready for anything ; it i 3 all insult and aggression. t The foundation of the Snob is this deficiency. He fails iii F the power of true re-, affect, and' in the perception of what, ia respectable.' ' He either respects the wrong thing, or he respects the right thing in the wrong way. , It i.sthis that tells so terribly on his manners.,' In the first place, he iB obtrusive;,! he never recognises , that *' ."sacred retirement, that inner self in each man which, no intimacy^ !not' the closest affection, ,has a riget'tot-irivade.; and he admires what is good -and noble" only for its outside, and for its effect only on the greatest number. Thus-lie misses the true worth of all that -most attracts him, and the more ambitious his aims the more vulgar are his motives of action. But how few people* have this gift icf respect rightly founded and rightly balanced ! It is accepted as a fact that the highest qualities and duties will always se-_ cure respect, but this too much implies that all persons are capable of paying and feeling;it; t Every one of any social stand-; is of course secure of a certain amount'of nominal serviceable respect, but this is" not the delicate "testimony we: mean. ''The thing' worthy of this 1 respect is an essence, notthfrsjgas of it that meet our ev;ej and. many things" and people are wdrth^of all respect that fail in any Very showy' mani-'* festatiqivoi themselve9V r Sydney. S&ifTyin 1 pleadingffdra' sufficient provision 'for the clergy^ complains'that" all wb!6 wo»fd L ''c!oh* fine' them/ to an average" of, £130 -per- au- ( jDum first 1 tfesdribet'-their; "ideal 1 learned, of cbkrming.m'anners arid.^jajne'd"; deportment, six feet two high,' with" a.&ag'- 1 mfic6ni6 countenance expressive of^l^he Cardinal Virtues and Ten Cqmfaanclmjefits;' .and tfl.ena.Bk', l^howould'nbVri'spe&t's^cK 1 a man, "however, poor ? r Very true,\he\re- ' plies f but what if the /pastor ,a,nd "dumpy- 1 ' striding "oVer" 'ttife 1 %iles ,a' second-rate wife, and so. on? It certainly ;iieeds the, gift^pf^p^^ia IP sense inwibicbaU men*h'ave T it ftfotj'^to 1 detect worth tiMer %c# J &/|fesentmet#,e and'tortdect tnat f wdrtif itf-wM #t dff Mtli^yeWWdrFdly-afect per^ flood, 'UiW4&! & Eris *#pS# haißl&s> habitiqrlfe ifilvfayV a^itofa, /pift&nle 1 ' withw,ah^r^n(*fe < af.>rfiui; o llke 5 charity, it takes a poetical and transcend-

ental view of every condition when it can. 1 It respects old age, because it assumes that with grey hairs come wisdom and experience; youth, because there should be purity and promise ; middle age, because it does the world's work ,J, J high station, because it personates a noble past or present achievement; the masses, because they represent the great aggregate of mankind. It reverences numbers, power, influence, for the great ideas they embody, not ior their show or for what it can get out of them.

After all, the true quality of respect is to be seen and felt o^nly in private life, and all its delicacies develop themselves in the closer intimicies and subtler relations of man with man. All people can be respectful and ceremonious ; but the respect we value is that which keeps pace with Intimacy and prevents any degree of familiarity from degenerating even for a .moment into the proverbial contempt.. Respect in its purity, addresses itself \to the moral nature; for the. respect paid to great intellect, 1 strength, or beauty is not so much rendered" as extorted, or, as we say, commanded. The respect men claim is due to their place,' and Qvery' place of standing has it;. but the proper, incense is offered- to something more intimately our owfi than any. attribute or quality. _ There is around every man who has not lost himself^ T a certain atmosphere that keeps him. separate and distinct — a something" that r.epejs close contact, and whidh every mind of delicacy is careful not to. infringe, owning a magic line which must not be stepped over, some shadow of that divinity that hedges kings. True love and friendship, which are inseparable from respect, are above all things careful never, even in the most intimate hour, to invade this inner solitude, to pry | into this sanctum. They always assume a I region of thought into which they have no 1 right to intrude, and the outposts of which must be approached with care, and , we aaay say awe, for without something of the I sort there is no respect. The expression |of this sentiment, even in family' life, used to be through elaborate forms, and in. primitive times through gestures and,pros-; trations of the deepest Humility;, but as society advances in refinement, it leaves complements, bowings, and salaams far behind. We do not even say Sir or Madam, or your Ladyship; "they are all. superseded and rendered unnecessary by the mere inflections of the voice. A voice trained in good manners and inspired by .respect conveys the subtlest homage' while' uttering' the simplest things, the merest household phrases of every day; and every voice, whether trained or not, while under this influence, can flatter and soothe with' a charm unknown to The rattling tongue Of saucy and audacious eloquence. . . It is indeed a great thing in social life to ! cultivate this deference of speech and voice, Nature assists, if men do not outrage her promptings by yielding to. the temptation which intimacy brings. " vv!e all of us," says Miss Austen, in the person of her wisest hero, " know the difference between the pronouns He, She, and Thou, the plainest-spoken amongst us. We all feel the influence of a something beyond common civility in our personal intercourse with each other, and somethingmore e,ar|y implanted. We cannot give anybody the disagreeable hints that We may have been very full of an hour before; we feel things very differently. This, is the respect of intimates, and if we substitute the customary you for Ihee, we still further express that distance and vague,'ness which shuns too close quarters — an, instinct of civility prompting every language to some idioni sacrificing grammatical truth to an idea. '

! To conclude, nothing shows a more candid and. fair", mind, than this quality in full judicious exercise. Most people .respect their betters, and despise or else patronise their inferiors ; it is only a mind capably of respect that does real justice to the classes below him or in some, other; way t removed from his sympathies. There is J nothing which commoner minds like better than to talk of "classes and sets, amongst which they do not care to rank themselves,, as ruled wholly by tHe in r flugnces bi* thei^'caste.^. We always ,'feel ,in< g4'od"c6ih^any. whenta;tempeir,sof i another, jßbri' excises Ji its ,xj^c^rranen r t jtodiscrimi^ l fea&Ls'Un f MgMd 16^ aAd, ! 'through.Wat f f |ympa&y;ws^ treats Whaifc.itw world ca.tfs'.a'n. .inferior with, rtjie to imdividualr character^ estiinatesj m^pbrs(ittar"a dv^iitages^''unider- (- 'stdnds jni^'drffidiiltie^ 1 ajd^''detelbt8 J ;;gqo4 taste ,a*hd 1 rjigh^feelingVu^e^ whatever '.guisjfe, 1 it&tj in •condescension, but in simple fe'UoW feeling^ "It is wonderfulshowtinany 'god.a^peo'plH^n'dJ'gooa'lbooJis^o^failhi! iti is 1 XorC'6: ! |ifetl ( cgM p'erfik^ hpf ; jnatiy; get tfo bee lyebi^ia^lg.an^c^noiesce'udmg 5 , wantsoiiit ; jToiy * after, at) Jthere are •inniWer£hie> people, ofr'so^ little-Jiicety r ot TeeliW $nai : * I fu^y (^TaiJe' ;6r li! p>ttonage -i§ ;mo&Mhes^ wlii'cji { f^e't| as,' '&e°|acMbmedgm,et)t«atid: apprepjatiou of, 'Ml almost j'rae 'Besf'^gift which the mind of V&emaß 1 can bestow upon another.