“NEWS—AND GOLF!”

Otago Daily Times, Issue 24431, 17 October 1940, Page 9

“NEWS—AND GOLF!”

XO THE EDITOR Sir, —Thai newspapers play a tremendous part towards furnishing the pabulum of the world’s daily topics of conversation, must be readily grasped by all thinking men. But that these same newspapers exercise a profound influence for good or ill upon the lives of poor humans, especially in the psychological domain—raising hopes or casting into the slough of despond—is either not so easily recognisable, or else is too much forgotten—even by sporting editors! Hence the need of presenting to readers a well-balanced “news-meal” for their mental digestion: otherwise, serious forms of intellectual dyspepsia, followed by more serious moral disabilities, are likely to appear in the community. May I be allowed to champion the cause of a long-suffering section of the community—us golfers! We take up a paper, search through the more likely pages for something wherewith to. hearten our efforts in the rough, on the fairway, or atop the green—and what do we read? Shucks! Only enthusiastic accounts of certain prodigies wrought by super-men, men seemingly of another world, men who do not appear to know anything of the mischances of an ordinary mortal toddling about a golf course! For instance, last week your paper gave us the astounding information that a well-known North Island player had come home at the end of a round of 18 holes with nine birdies and nine bogies in his bag! Now, what must necessarily be the reaction of news like that upon thousands of well-intentioned foozlers like myself? Mayhap, for the space of a few seconds, spontaneous admiration. But after that, dull, devouring despondency; the growing temptation* to pawn one’s golf clubs; or rather to burn them—even with the help of an oxy-acetylene plant, if necessary—so as to save some other poor unfortunate from being drawn into a similar vortex of suicidal portents! If only your sporting writer would cast about and gather up some more heartening news to be blended with such accounts of prodigious feats, then perhaps some vestige of hope and encouragement might remain for us hundred-and-twenty markers. At times the first columns of your main news page have to acquaint us witla the facts of some damage or other inflicted upon the people and property of England; but not far away we usually reap compensating thoughts from the reports of air raids over Germany. Why not the same compensating factor in other departments of your paper? Now to give you a practical instance of what we chumps look for: Little more than a week ago the qualifying rounds for the club championship opened at a small country golf course a dozen miles from Dunedin Among the elite who are contesting the senior section of this important event there was one player who made local history. No question of consecutive birdies and bogies. No, Sir! But instead, a seemingly endless succession of miss-hitsl From the first tee this player sliced seven consecutive balls over the boundary fence on the right. Then by way of some variety he drove his next into the trees at the left. After that exhilarating effort he was content to put (not putt!) the next into the creek, a distance of some 30 yards in the direction of the “ pin.” Then, perhaps thinking that it was time he got on his way lest he be holding up other players, he proceeded by short stages towards the more closely-mown area. When at last the delectable sound of the ball bumping around the bottom of the tin reached his ear, he could lay claim to having taken a modest 17 strokes for the first nole! I lack details of the particular circumstance, but I rather fear that few were pre-

sent to join in the cheer fit that moment of triumph. Now, Sir, that is the kind of news we journeyman golfers want. I, for one, will go forth to the game of golf, bearing in my heart renewed zest and hope. I shall play with more confidence and aplomb; and even if I never get a birdie or even a bogey at the first, yet 1 shall feel well satisfied if I have kept somewhere within the margin of 17 strokes.—l am,' etc., The Second Oldest Member. Dunedin. October 15.