MARRIED LIFE.

Otago Daily Times, Issue 20960, 25 February 1930, Page 16

MARRIED LIFE.

The question forced itself upon me several times in consequence of visits to married friends whom I have known since tuey were spinsters. I could not help noting the tremendous change that married life had wrought in most of them. As spinsters they were distinguished by their generosity and their readiness to make other people's troubles their own. 13ut now they have no time to concern themselves about the welfare of their mends. . I believe that the majority of my married friends are just as respectable a class of housewives aa one could find anywhere: yet it is painfully obvious that married life has narrowed their horizons and deprived them of that sympathetic attitude towards their friends that characterised them as spinsters. The'spontaneous desire to sympathise with others in trouble is now conspicuous by ite absence. One friend with whom I discussed this question frankly admitted that the welfare of her friends had taken a less prominent place in her life since she married. "But that is only because I have now less time to think about mv friends," she declared. "Before I married I had-only myself to think of; but now I have four others besides myself. I have enough troubles of my own to worry about other" people's." If there was any doubt in my mind before this conversation that married life made women selfish it was. dispelled by my friend's words. Another strongly denied that she had become less selfless. "What I have suffered in motherhood ha? rendered me even more susceptible to the sufferings of my friends," she contended. "And I dare say it is the same with almost every other married woman. When it comes to a crisis you have to turn to the married woman every time." Although I admire my friend for upholding her class, I regret that I cannot share her views. When lav in need of sympathy or advice I turn to my spinster friends—every time. Their horizons are much wider and „ their sensibility* more acute and heartfelt. And their attitude towards the recipient of their advice or sympathy is not one of superiority—an attitude that so often, characterises the married wonjan •when she adviseß or sympathises.—C. M'Lean in an exchange.