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New Zealand Times, Volume XXXVII, Issue 8367, 1 March 1913, Page 9

A Yeomanry squad was drilling, and, being out of practice, roost of them were suffering from bruises caused by the unsteadiness of one another’s movements. “I believe you have cut my head open,” shouted a recruit to • a nervous comrade who had given him a severe knock. "Well/' said the distracted' sergeant-in-charge, “now is a good time to put something in it I" The banquet hall was adorned with many beautiful paintings, and the president of the little college was called upon to respond to a toast- Wishing to pay a compliment to the ladies present, he designated the paintings with an eloquent gesture, and said: "What need is there of these painted beauties when we have so many with ns at the table?” “Yes, my dear,” said Mrs Eamsbotham, speaking of her invalid uncle. "The poor old gentleman has had a stroke of parenthesis, and when I saw him last he was in a state of comma.” “You don't look strong enough and mgged enough to be a policeman. Have you ever had any experience or training in that line?” "Weil, sir,” said the applicant, "X rang the parish church bells for ten years. How’s that for being a pealer ”