"SWAPPING JOBS.”

New Zealand Times, Volume XXXIII, Issue 7929, 12 October 1911, Page 4

"SWAPPING JOBS.”

REUBEN AND THE PARSON. FfiOM OUIt SPECIAL CORRESPONDENT. LONDON, September 1. A good joke has come to an, untimely eud uua v.’oclt in me uou-o iuumet ot lwau.shail, rit. .Margarets, Norfolk. It began a promising career a lew uays ago, wnen, lired by me prevaimg sporxt, of revolt against tho injunction to do liie duty in I mat state of life to which it had pleased I Hroviuenoo to call Mm, a lami lauouu.or I named Reuben Websdaio expressed -moopinion that the parson's job could be none by almost "anyuotiy w-itli a uit oi gumption,” and puoHcly challenged tho | vioair to "swop jobs," for a day. jaoubcu's f sporting oiler was promptly taken up oy | tac wear, the Rev. Augustan© Hackle, muon, i to tho aolight of tne villagers. The parson proposed that as Reuben could not potisibly undertake a day's clerical work involving iua omoiatiag in enuroA. he Ishouid "iswop jouU" lor a Saturday, which was a comparatively light day for the cleric. Ho suggested farther that the side stakes should bo a Woolf's wages, and that a ooananitteo of three —Websdale’a master, a labouring man, and another par-son—should decide tiie question as to which ot the contestants did the other man's work best. Tho parson, on Ins acceptance of Reucen's cvimiieaige. proposed to handicap himself thus; — v iu consideration of tho fact that I havo oftentimes done such work as yours, whereas you havo probably not had any experience of mine, 1 will give you. two hours' start on Saturday morning.” . , And then ho rounded it off by giving Reuben.'a last of what ho would be expected to do on the appointed Saturday* This was the clerical timetable: 9.30 to io.—Eetranslation of English into Greek. / 10 ,to 11.30.—Oecumenical documents of tho faith. Revise tho "definition'' of tho Council of Ohalcedon. 11.50 to 12.30. —The Homo-ouaion and the Constantinopolitan. symbol. 12-50 to 1. —The "hapax legomcna 1 * of the . Apocalypse. . , ’ _ ‘3 to 5. —House-to-house visiting in St Mary's. „ . * $ to 6.so.—Write out notices for church porches, and choose hymns for Sunday. 6.30 to 9,—Prepare two sermons • and a children's address. Reuben's remarks when he scanned thU document are not on record. Possibly they were not strictly ecclesiastical. Still, ho was a lad of mettle, and forthwith sent an acceptance of the parson’s terms, to tho consternation of. the reverend gentleman. and to tho ainasiement of the villagera, who promptly decided to make the appointed Saturday a whole holiday. Hut alas I tho contest will not'com© off, for at tho eleventh hour Reuben reconsidered 1 his position. Ho did not believo that tho parson could boat him at farm work, but he felt convinced that ho could tackle house-to-house visiting and flyrm* g© looking satisfactorily, and erven prepare a couple of sermons and an address for children. But ho felt sure that he would find the hour allowed for dealing vrath Homo-oasion and the Constantiuopoutan symbol absurdly inadequate, and h© had some qualms as to the retransiation into Greek and tho “hapax legomeno. _ He therefore decided to “give the parson best without a fight; greatly, it is said, to the disappointment of the Rev. Maclao. • Of course Reuben's challenge was foolish, but the parson’s Saturday itinerary was not a fair sample of a clergyman s day s “work.” Possibly Mr Mackie may wilo away his leisure hours with retransiatlons pnd tho rest of it, and as he took thirdclass honours in the classical tripos some i ten years ago he would no doubt do able to make some show at carrying out ina own programme, but five hours study of abstruse fmbjects can hardly be deemed a legitimate part of a vicar’s job. Reuben might easily have flabbergasted the parson by requiring him, in addition to doing the orthodox work of a farm labourer, to spice his day's toil with amouroua ha’f-houra with village lassies, pots of porter at the local inn, and similar items, winding up with—”lo p-m.—Go home drunk.”