PROBLEMS FOR PARENTS.

New Zealand Times, Volume XXXII, Issue 7020, 7 January 1910, Page 9

PROBLEMS FOR PARENTS.

THE UNMARRIED DAUGHTER.

GIRLS WHO ABE ONLY AMATEURS IN HOUSEKEEPING.

(By Our Lady Correspondent.) LONDON: November 26. There is a question, ever besng asked, often discussed, yet never nowadays, and it has TO uu £ ir\t Terming number of marriages and the consequent weakening ol English home life. . \vlry is home-life weakening:' _ The headmaster of Eton has this week saiu, in a speech 011 education andpractical life, that girls ought to be taught ir, cucli a way that they would beU to take their places in the homes. ' lhe Times" has taken up the subject in a able leader, and granting the truth ot the speaker's contention asks very pertiliomes are girls to be fitted to take their places—their fathers or their husbands'? ... . Undoubtedly the position of a. gul■ " her father's house as a totally different thine from what it will be m her husband's, and, far from fitting a girl lor married life as home surroundings and parents' example and-advice should do. Ft is only just to daughters to say that the present system of house government and education fails sadly. For one daughter of the eldest ot several the chances of experience are favourable, but if there arc many daughters in u family it is not by any nwans an uncommon thing to find _ it difficult to persuade the parents to give them their due as grown-up women and not advanced children. ONLY AN AMATEUR.

Even if such a, right is granted them the fact still remains that the position of a girl in her father's house is, as hUs been suggested, that of an amateur. She fills a certain place in the domestic arrangements of the house, not because such a. position needs to be taken but because she is there with nothing else to do.

It is no unusual thing to find whole rVniilies of daughters unmarried, and yet, years ago, it would ducidecily have been remarkable. There are many reasons.

Quite near to where the writer lives there is a household containing no less than seven unmarried sons, all practically middle Uged men, and bachelors abound. MARRIAGE OUT OF FASHION.

Therefore it will be seen that there is' a deal of truth in the remark made by. the author of "Modern Women." that"marriage is out of fashion/'

Why? Parents grumble because their children do not marry, 'and homes, instead of being the bright and haippy places they wore before girls became women ami then "spinsters" are, lUter, overcrowded with too many people with nothing to do. And yet these- same parents are, in many cases, themselves the obstacles in thfl way of sons and daughters, particularly daughters, marrying. Children arj brought up with false, ideas of position, and the result is that girls are no longer content to marry a man whose career is still in the making. \ They must begin where their parente left off, and the consequence is that marriage is out of the question, for many. FAULTY UPBRINGING. '-

It is unfair I think, to girls to 6«iy that they aire "not plucky enough to bo prepared to sink their desire for social petition in their love for a husband not j-et at the top of the tree. The fault lies in their upbringing and the ideas inculcated then.

And this being the cuse with women men are bound to be affected by it. If social position is to be regarded a* everything worth having the struggling man must go through the worries of existence alone, not daring to ask U woman to share what may indeed bo regarded ££. WOTSe l>y her parents. Ihat woman's outlook on life has completely altered in the last few years is after all, though it deals with a differW„ < n°? * Om T / rom tho ®e ™> have w Pn w alk ' I V Sr ,, ° f ihe undoubted nrsalening of home life and home ties. liiis is the ■ woman who genuinely shrinks from marriage becaus/ofwl• t t may probably involve for her: and that.particular class of woman even tl,„ most optimistic of us Zt £ " ' decidedly in fne ascendency at praent

SUFFEAGETTB EEBEILS. „„Y h w?' mT P° views may bo, the er + 7 8 s "PPO r * the methods of' the SiiiFragette class or not, I think tt T ?J S i™ re tP'P 1 than in the conclusion that, were it not for the shrieking sisterhood tha.t has 'iromeS s,rfab!e and unsuitable women tea state of meaningless rebellion against the old social and domestic system we should not be so bitterlv crying out for the woman that man felt it' no* Zjerat^ rj J to^ Say 1 t i lat he BS That the old systems kept women in a doubt, but whether her present independent athtutb won't leave both men mo J' e di s«nctly deplor- 1 able attitude towards each ■ other in s few years it is difficult to sav herself, for it is weW. as it is dangerous, 1 for hsr tojenow that a tremendous, power of influence has undoubtedly been given her to use—or abus».