SHOULD THE WIFE RULE THE HOME?

New Zealand Mail, Issue 1717, 25 January 1905, Page 27

SHOULD THE WIFE RULE THE HOME?

This is a rather important question, as many married women, whose husbands ai*o meddlesome, could tell you. Perhaps on the face of it, it may seem as if it depended on a woman a ability, but there is another side to the question (says a writer in "Pearson’s Weekly.") Almost any woman ns capable of conducting a household without interference, as it is a natural faculty, a birthright; she takes to it as does a duck to the water. . , , But, alas! a married woman often finds that her husband lias no intention of allowing her to be supreme where domestic arrangements are concerned; he wants to direct and guide her in liqusework, in buying goods, and in the general conduct of the home

Now, it may ho accepted as a fact that the ordinary man knows nothing about these things, so the consequence is that the husband who wants to direct, without the ability to do so, brings trouble on the household. No woman with spirit and a correct feeling of independence will tolerate an interfering husband. There is no use trying bo argue the point by saying that if a man owns a home he has the rig’llt to meddle with its domestic arrangements, for on the day he weds ho takes into partnership a person to whom, by all the laws of commonsense, and the eternal fitness of things,

he hands over, or should hand over, complete. control of his house, and everything connected therewith. ... After he is married he must nob interfere in household affairs. This does not mean that he should take no interest in his home; on the contrary, he should take the very deepest interest in it.

But taking an interest; in it, and poking his nose into his wife’s affairs, are two totally different things, and the man who constantly meddles with his wife and her side of the business is laying up a store of worry—for himself, at any rate. The newly-married wife may bear it quite patiently for a time, but after she hardens a bit, that is. after married life has lost a deal ox its glamour, she will rebel; she wiil insist on having her r ghts; in a word, she wiil make her husband understand that she- is mistress; he many be master if he likes, but- the master has nothing whatever to do with the domestic side of the- homo.

Of course, if ho persists in interfering, a blight may fall on the house. There are numbers of men who even sink so low as to contradict orders given by wives to servants. Now, the man who gives a domestic orders contrary to those given by his wife, has got to suffer in the end; ( pen rupture will follow, as sure as night follows day, and wlxo can blame the wife ?

It is her duty to give a servant orders, and if a husband does not approve of these orders, most certainly it is not to the -servant he ought to go; he must go to his wife, and make inquiry, and if not satisfied, must never interfere with the servant personally. It just conies "to this, that the meddlesome husband is the creator of that most wretched domestic condition—a house divided against itself. A sensible' man can surely see that he has nothing to do with the home, except in a passive sense.

"VVhat. does a man marry for? Is it not, in most cases, in order to get. someone whom he means to place over his household, to rule his home, whilst he supplies the wherewithal to run the establishment ?

That’s it—a man is for business, for outside work in most cases; a wife is for the home and its management in all cases.

No husband has a r’glit to question his wife regarding household expenses, always provided, of course, that she is not extravagant, and makes her ail>wance cover a given time.

By all the laws of equity the wife should be supremo in the home; she should be queen; the husband may be king if so minded, but lie must be king and subject at the same time; he may advise if asked; he should never interfere. Carry the war into the husband’s camp, and how would he like it? Suppose a wife attempted to direct and manage his business affairs, would he take it calmly? lie would not; he would feel that his rights, his privileges, his individual! liberty, were meddled with, and not only would he object, but raise a terrible to do about it all. Moreover, it would be very lowering to him, for it would clearly imply that his wife considered him incapable of managing his own affairs, and that is just how a wife feels whose husband tries to direct household matters; small blame to her if she makes a strong effort to keep him in his right place. Let every married man take this warning—don’t interfere with domestic matters; be a man. Bear in mind that it is small compliment to your -selection of a wife if even the idea crosses your mind that she is not capable of taking entire charge of your household.