A CRUSTY OLD BACHELOR

New Zealand Mail, Issue 1511, 14 February 1901, Page 10

A CRUSTY OLD BACHELOR

“If we can’t agree, ma’am, its high time we parted company,” said Mr -Barnabas Buffington. “My sentiments exactly,” said Miss Patty Chickson, “and the sooner the better, according to my way, of thinking.” Mr Buffington was a portly individual with a Roman nose, iron-grey hair and a stout, short figure. Miss Chickson was tall and spare, with little spiral curls and the remains of a complexion, and with blue eyes that had been passing bright twenty years ago.

“There’s an end to all human endurcnce,” observed the gentleman, sternly. ! “Sir,” said Miss Chickson., “I have put up with your eccentricities until fiMfifceerance has ceased to be a virtue.”

“A month’s notice,” said Mr Buffington, savagely flourishing his yellow silk pocket handkerchief. “You are quite at liberty to go at the c-nd of twenty-four hours, for all I care!” retorted Miss Chickson, with dignity.

“Madame, I take you at your word,” said the gentleman. "Sir, I shall congratulate myself if you will,” said the lady. Mr Barnabas Buffington had lodged with Miss Martha Chickson for ten years. He was rich and eccentric; she was poor and proud.

As young people there had been certain love passages, which had never blossomed into full perfection and when Mr Buffington came homo fiom China and found his old pastor’s orphan daughter trying to gain a scanty livelihood by letting apartments, he engaged her entire second floor at once and paid his way like a rajah. “Poor girl! poor girl!” said Mr Barnabas Buffington. “But how thin and old-maidish she has grown! I ready

fancied her a divinity

What fools young

men are, to be sure! ’ “Poor dear Mr Buffington! how stout and vulgar be has become!” said Miss Chickson. “How the dreams o.t one’s youthful days do alter!'’ Mr Barnabas Buffington was not perfect enough to be canonised, and Miss Cliickson had her petty peculiarities. The consequence was that little collisions were inevitable.

And one day there came a longer measuring of wordy swords than usual, and Mr Buffington and Miss Chickson formally parted. “Ten years is quite long enough tq tolerate this state of things,” said the old bachelor.

“I’m only surprised that I haven’t turned him way long ago,” said the old maid.

So when Mr Buffington had gone away in a cab piled high with baggage. Miss Chickson rang the bell for her ma : .!.

“Barbara,” said she. “Yes, ma'am?” said Barbara. “Mr Buffington ; s gone at last.”

“So I perceive, .ma’am, said Baroara. “Anci wonj’t he come back again,

ma’am ?”

“Never!” said Miss Chickson, with spirit. “O!” said Barbara, rather surprised.

“It will be necessary for us to reduce expenses,” remarked the mistress, “Of course, I cannot any longer afford to keep so large a house as this. Mr Buffington, whatever were his faults, cannot at. least be accused of parsimony.” “Certainly not, ma’am,” said Barbara. “Of all liberal, freehanded, gents -” “Barbara, you will oblige me by holding your tongue!” said Miss Chick son.

“Certainly, ma’am,” said Barbara “Get me a cup of tea.” said Miss Cbiokson, “and when I have drunk it I will go out to look for a cheaper house in a less aristocratic neighbourhod ” Barbara brought up the cap of tea. in a quaint little Wedgwoc-d teapot, on a Japanese tray. Miss Cliickson drank it in silence, looking sadly at the fin* Tea was, so to speak, Miss Chickson’s inspiration, "When she was low spirited or in doubt, or puzzled, or in any way thrown off her mental balance, -she drank tea, and straightway became herself again. Meanwhile, Mr Barnabas Buffington iu the solitary splendours of a West End hotel, was scarcely less ill at ease. “I don’t like this sort of thing at all/’ Mr Buffington to himself, one morning, a month later. s 'lt isn’t homelike. There’s no cat here. Patty C.hickson always kept a cat. There s something .very domestic and cosv-look-ing about 1 a cat. I’ll go out and look down the advertising columns of ihc daily papers, and see what inducements they have to offer in the way of quiet, respectable homes for elderly gentlemen.” So it came to pass that Mr Barnabas Buffington sallied forth, not house-hunt-ing, but home-hunting. It- was not a so readily-disposed of business as he supposed. This house was next to a livery stable; that one contained a young lady who was practising for an opera singer; the third smelled as if the drainage was defective; the fourth was too splendid; the fifth too shabby.

“I don’t know but that I shall be> compelled to sleep at the station house/’ gloomily remarked Mr Barnabas Buffington, “for, come what may, noth'ng shall induce me to go back to that noisy hotel, where the waiters don’t come until you have rung the beli forty times, and the soup is served half cold.”

He was walking pensively along a quiet and shady little street, with booh hands thrust deep down in his pockets, and the front of his bat tilted down over his nose, when, chancing to look up, he perceived a grey cat dozing in the bay window of a modest-looking house, and on the doorway thereof was placed an unpi-etentious notice: “Board and lodgings at moderate prices.”

~ I like the look of that place,” said Mr Buffington. “They keep a cat there -—a grey cat. It’s not splendid, but ifc looks comfortable. I’ll try it.” He rang the bell; a neat little maidservant, in a white apron and friPed cap, responded to the summons. Please, sir, missis ain’t at home, but I knows all about the rooms,” said the little damsel. "I can show ’em, and I can tell you the terms.” Barnabas Buffington liked the lock of the rooms, and- he did not object to the terms. There was a bright coal fire burning in the grate. “Missis wanted the rooms to he well aired,” said the girl, courtesying at every other word. ' &

Your missis, my girl, is a woman of sense,” said Mi Buffington. * This settles the matter. I’ll take ihe apartments for a month certain, with the privilege of renewal if I find myself suited.”

He took off his hat, unwound the comforter from about his neck, and sat down before the cheery shine of vhe grate. “Go and tear down the bill at once,” said he. “And leave the door open so that the cat can come in. I am partial to cats!”

“But, sir!” hesitated the white-ap-

“Never mind your mistress,” said Mr Buffington, cavalierly. “She wanted a boarder, and she’s got one! Vi hat more would she have ?” ~ And, so speaking, he hailed a cab in the street, and bade tlie driver go for his trunks and hat-boxes without delav. , 'Miss Chickson and Barbara ban been out selecting some new pie platters and pudding basins, and little Betsy was eagerly waiting for them at the area door when they came in. “Please, missis,” said Betsy, ' the 100 m is let. And lie’s sitting upstairs now, with the cat in his lap. ’ “Who i ; s?” Remanded! Miss Chick-

son. , .. "The new boarder, ma’am.;’ “What is his name?” “Please, ma’am. I don’t know,” said

Betsy

Miss Chickson walked into iier little parlour and sat down, fanning herself with her bonnet. “Betsy,” said she, “go upstairs, present my compliments, to this stranger, and tell him that I shall be glad of an interview at once. He may be a burglar for what I know!” “Yes/ said Betsy. And away she tripped, returning presently. “ He’s coining, ma’am,” said she. And in stalked —Mr Barnabas Buffington ! “Good gracious me!” said Miss Chickson,

“It’s Patty Chickson, isn’t it?” said Mr Buffington, staring with all his eyes. “I might have; known that it was the same cat. However, ma’am,” relapsing into a belligerent attitude, “I won’t intrude. I’ll leavs the premises at once.” “Don’t,” said Miss Chickson, faintly. “Eh?” said Mr Buffington. “I—l hope you don’t bear malice, ’ said Miss Chickson. “I’m afraid I was a little impatient.” "Don’t mention it!” said Mr Buffington. “It was all my fault.” “I was unreasonable,” said Miss Chickson.

“I was a brute,” said Mr Buffingten.

“I have reproached myself bittero',” faltered the lady. “I haven’t had a. moment of peace, since,” said Mr Barnabas Buffington", sincerely.

“Shall we forget and forgive?” whispered Miss Chickson.

I know a better plan than that, said Mr Buffington. “Let’s begin the world on a new basis.”

understand you,” said Miss Gmckson.

“I like you and your wavs/’ said Mr Buffington, “I didn’t know how much until we separated. Let us settle down together for life, Patty Chickson. Let’s be married “At our son

age?” said Miss Chick-

® shall never be any said Mr Buffington. 5

i .;Y°V think people woukLrfc laugh! hesitated tlie spinster. ‘'What do we care whether they do or not?” said the bachelor, recklessly And the result of this conference was that Mr and Mrs Buffington are now sitting, one on either side of the hearthrug, with the grey cat in the middle a,s harmonious a trio as one will orr-n find. ‘

A_nd the bill is taken down permanently.—“ Buffalo Inquirer.”