Twenty Years Ago.

New Zealand Mail, 3 December 1896, Page 14

Twenty Years Ago.

MISADVENTURES IN MAORI DOM. BY HOME RULE. fSpecially written for the New Zealand Mail.) MW AS a new chum and on the look out for a good saddle horse. This was some twenty years ago, just when I had got pastoral charge of an extensive district in the North Island. Having had no experience of horses, I was at the mercy of sharpers. Very easy was it indeed to pawn a useless beast upon me. And so it happened. To my inexperienced eye the fellow I purchased seemed a fine dashing steed, as the vendor ran him along the village green to exhibit him to the best advantage. That animal was tall, lank, leggy ; but the seller assured me that the summer grass and good hard feed would fill him out into excellent and graceful proportions. To enhance his value the more, he demanded a high price for him, though as a special favour he would make a fair reduction. This was plausible and had the desired effect. The vendor seemed a decent, off-hand, generous fellow.

As I needed a roadster forthwith, I closed bargains with Mr Tomkins, in whose hotel I stayed that night. On the ensuing morning I mounted my noble steed and rode away. Not far, however, had I advanced on my homeward journey when I remembered I had forgotten something, and so I returned to the starting point. Arrived at the door I dismounted, threw the bridle reins on a post, and advanced in the hall. Tomkins, who was making merry with some friends, looked rather confused at my unexpected return ; but I quickly relieved his embarrassment by explaining my reason. But hark you ! There was a shout from outside that the horse had pulled and broken the bridle. We rushed to the front, but only ia time to see him dash over the hill. When we had gained that point we descried him far down the slope in full gallop, making for his haunt and companions. A gate on the way checked his race for freedom; but only for a moment, for when, with head and tail erect, he looked around and perceived several men in hot chase after him he made a dash at the gate, which he cleared, only that one leg struck on a post. This brought him on his back to the ground. In a moment he was again on his feet and in full gallop. But the saddlebags, the girth having given way, bumped a few times and then flew off, causing me to fear that some valuable contents were made into smithereens. Wreckage indeed there was, but not to the extent of my apprehensions. However, that fall at the gate cost me a few pounds sterling. While we examined and lamented the damages, Billy had secured his freedom, as he thought, by joining a large mob of his kind in a fifty-acre paddock. Three long hours under a broiling sun did we pursue the 'varmint’runaway before we succeeded in capturing him. The other horses seemed to enjoy the fun immensely; and Billy, with his saddle on his back, was conspicuous in their midst. When, however, the capture was effected, we returned slowly towards the village, not very gleeful, surely, but yet thankful that we had secured the escapee. Pockethandkerchiefs were kept busy on face and neck and forehead until they became saturated with perspiration. A halt was made at a spring, and even Billy condescended to drink of the running waters to slake his thirst.

On the brow of the hill and commanding a clear view of the whole settlement was a hut, wherein a distinguished knight of the leather plied his calling. * Denny will make short work of repairing the bags and bridle,’ said Mr Tompkins, as we arrived in front of the hut. There was a general halt, and brave Denny responded to a call from Tompkins. Short of stature, shuffling in the knees, stuttering in speech, and old-fashioned toa degree, was the bachelor Denny, the jolly boy of the village. For tho entertainment of'the villagers, Denny sang : ‘ The Night before Larry was Stretched,’ ‘ The G-irl I left behind Me,’ ‘ The Boys of Kilkenny,’ and so forth. And he discoursed pleasant music on the fife, though I am chary of testifying that ‘ tho charm of gushing melody’'was conspicuous in his performance. Be that as it may, the fife was a favourite at. every gathering, and Denny was the. hero of the place. But when his eagle eye had surveyed myself, tho horse and wreckage, and tho group standing round, he gave way to a fit of loud laughter, exclaiming at the same time : ‘ .Tabers, bis reverence is a new chum !’ That I had purchased Billy was proof positive of my greenness. So I pleaded guilty of Denny’s charge, but asked him very civilly if he would repair the damages, as there was no harness-maker within many miles of the place. The jovial shoemaker, with some strongexpletives, declared that he would make ‘ a, clean job of it in a jiffy,’ To be brief, we all entered the ‘ castle.’ as the hut was facetiously named, and enjoyed a grateful rest after the toil and excitement of the chase after my noble Billy. As Denny was an expert tradesman, ‘ the job ’ was completed very soon and to my entire satisfaction. I praised him for his workmanship and speed, and asked for his bill. ‘ You see that furze hedge outside, your Rev ?’ was the reply. f If you jump that fence, jabers, ’tis the only bill I’ll charge you.’ There was much cheering at first, and

then much speculation as to whether the new chum could pay his bill after that fashion. So all adjourned to the green in front of the ' castle.’ At a glance I could see that the jump was not too formidable for a trial, though there was a ditch in front and a slope behind. Without hesitation I accepted the challenge, but on the express stipulation that, in case I succeeded, Denny should try it after me. The bystanders approved and backed me out bravely. After some shuffling and fencing, Denny declared, ‘on his word as a gentleman, that he would follow suit so as not to spoil sport/ Besides, he averred that the stigma of ‘coward’ never rested on his shoulders, and that he was not now going to disgrace the ‘rale ould stock’ from which he sprung. ‘ Denny will beat his reverence ’ was the real or feigned opinion of some. The group grew larger every moment by fresh arrivals, and there was considerable excitement. Off went my coat, and then I ran smartly for the hedge. But I missed my footing, and bai-ely escaped stumbling into the ditch. Denny shook with transports of delight, and exclaimed aloud that he ‘knew he couldn’t do it/ But a second charge made me victor. Denny was then encouraged to fulfil his part of the contract. ‘ Remember the glories of Brian the brave/ cried a voice in the crowd, and forthwith brave Denny dashed along with much spirit ; but his shuffling legs played him false, and the essayed jump became a somersault, which landed him in the middle of the gorse hedge, head downwards, legs upwards. Grotesque indeed was now the condition of the lord of the ‘ castle ’ and the knight of the leather. There arose such a shout that all the absent villagers run up the hill in great haste and excitement. Denny was quickly rescued by willing hands, but dead thorns stuck in him thick as quills on a porcupine, or ‘ as leaves in Vallombrosa/ Pain from the thorns was the only injury our hero had sustained by the mishap. ‘Jabers/ his favourite exclamation, ‘I am not defeated yet/

His mettle was up and he was just making his second charge when a powerful constable caught him fast and declared him his prisoner for attempted suicide. Cheers for Denny and the jovial constable. ‘ My prisoner ; to the lock-up,’ cried the guardian of the law. Uproarious laughter. ‘Jabers, I must jump it/ rejoined the prisoner, as he plunged with all his might to get free. The mock arrest was glorious fun, but before the lock-up was reached Deuny was ‘bailed out’ by his friends, who bore him on their shoulders in triumph to the hotel, where refreshments galore awaited him.

On the fringe of an extensive swamp stood a strong redoubt, manned by a contingent of the A.C. Force. Just in rear of this stronghold was Maorldom. A military road connected this with the different forts along the borders. The road in question crossed an arm of tho big black swamp, and was, for several chains, a veritable quagmire, with surface water flowing over it, owing to heavy rains, at the time I rode Billy along that way. Having to no purpose searched for a better crossing, I became foolhardy enough to ride into the black mud. Tracks there were through, it, but they wero the marks of light and hardy cattle. However, it was an experiment I deemed better than turning back, especially as it was late in the afternoon. In I rode, and down went my noble steed ere I had advanced many yards. A few plunges drove him deeper still. The situation was most critical, but I did not lose presence of mind. Having extricated my feet from the stirrups deep down in the sable mud, I walked off over the horse’s head, which, together with the tail, was the only part now visible of the unfortunate Billy. Bad as he was, I grieved for him and protected his head with my waterproof from a heavy sou’-westerly squall. Apparently all was over with him, and I was about to cut the girths and save the saddle, when he made a few desperate plunges, which improved his condition considerably. After a little rest he renewed the struggle, employing a happy contrivance by working upwards and onwards on his fore knees. I gave him free scope, as it was abundantly manifest that he was a veteran and an adept. In a word, he managed to turn himself round and to get once more on his feet. Then an attempt at his favourite practice of running away I frustrated by a firm hold of the bridle. ‘ Not this time, my fine fellow, at all events,’ I said, with triumphant satisfaction. To turn back and make a long do tom seemed a great hardship ; and so 1 made another attempt to cross the quagmire. Holding the end of the bridle reins, I made a dash through the mud while Billy splashed and plunged after me, following heels far more successfully tlr.iu my anticipations. Had I gone down or failed to be out of Billy’s way the brute could not have avoided trampling me under him. Danger is a good reminder of prayer, and I think my prayer came that time from the heart. ‘Thank God we are safe/ I exclaimed, when man and horse were on terra firma.

Tiiat was one of the worst pieces of road, perhaps the very worst, I have ever waded through in twenty years. The redoubt, some couple of miles up the hill, I reached very soon, and was greeted with a warm and hospitable reception.

‘By Jove! his reverence is in a bad way,’’' exclaimed one.

‘By what way did you come ?’ queried another.

‘ It bates Bannaher all out, i£ he crossed the swamp road,’cried a son cf tho ‘ould sod.’

As no rider had ventured that way for many months, it appeared incredible that I had come there and escaped destruction.

‘Take the horse, Jack, wash him well of the mud, aDd give him a good feed,’ commanded the sergeant. ‘ Come iu, shy’ he Courteously addressed myself; *you are

badly in need of a wash, and sonie refreshments. 5

It took some soap and water, I can tell you, to wash off me the sable mud on that memorable occasion. But there was a large and blazing fire, which dried my clothes quickly; and then came the invitation to ‘ black tea and homely tucker. 5

‘ You will, excuse the rough fare, 5 remarked the sergeant. ‘ Hunger, gentlemen, is good sauce, 5 I replied, ‘ and I assure you I am very grateful for your kindness both to myself and my unfortunate horse. 5 After a oouple of hours 5 grateful rest and pleasant interchange of ideas on various topics, I took leave of the sergeant and his men; but as it was now dark an escort of two fine young fellows accompanied me for a few miles over an indifferent road, until they landed me on safe ground.

‘ Rub the sand hard into him. G-ive him plenty of it. Scrub him well down with the hard brush. There I Good 1 Plunge him into the water again. Quit you like men. He needs all the washing and brushing you can give him. 5 Was it my tormentor, Billy, I meant in shouting these directions from a high cliff overhanging a river, on the beach of which a unique performance was taking place? Verily no, but a tailor who had just been on one of his bad sprees, was in a woe-begone condition and sadly in need of plentiful ablutions. An excellent military tailor was he, and the A.C. Force gave him their custom ; but usually they had to confine him in their barracks while in charge of their work, owing to his devotion to Bacchus. This was a happy expedient, serving both parties well. On my visit to the township this poor fellow presented a very squalid appearance, and his neighbours were in despair about him. All were tired of him, pitied him, and kindly mentioned his good and generous qualities, apart from drink.

* I have an idea which I wish to see worked out, 5 I anxiously remarked to a group of men who were making him the theme of their blame and compassion. As I developed my plan they became both interested and amused.

‘ Be dad, he wants a thorough washing, anyhow, 5 remarked one. ‘ How can it be done ?’ rejoined another. ‘ls the sergeant a good fellow? 5 I asked. ‘ Oh, the best in the world, 5 was the hopeful response.

‘ All right, 5 I answered, with a gleeful, countenance.

Forthwith I started for the camp and explained my plan to the good-natured sergeant. It tickled his fancy very much indeed, and he kindly gave me two strapping men to execute my plan. These arrested the knight of the goose, and bore him to the strand, according to my instructions.

Meantime other friends procured from the village store a bran new suit of garments, to be ready for the tailor at the completion of operations down at the river.

‘Finished, your reverence. Shall we let him out now, and put on him his new clothes ?’

‘No, no, until he take the pledge,’ I shouted down from the beetling cliff. The culprit murmured, implored, promised amendment, all but the pledge. By this time the people in the secret had arrived on the bridge to he spectators of the fun. Having perceived these, and feeling there was no other hope of escape for him, he consented to the pledge. ‘ Ready yet for the pledge ?’ I queried from the beetling cliff. ‘ Ready, 5 responded the men.

‘ I promise to abstain from all intoxicating drink/ shouted the voice from the steep cliff. ‘ I promise to abstain from all intoxicating drink/ re-echoed the tailor, with only his head above water in the crystal river. As the form was considerably longer than the words quoted, there was a good deal of hard shouting from the cliff downwards, and from the man in the river upwards. The echo must have frightened the fishes into their hiding places, as it scared the cattle up and down the banks, causing them to scamper hurriedly away. When the pledge was administered I called to the men to let him out, dry him carefully, and put on the new garments. The order was duly aud faithfully executed.

‘ Tie his old duds into a bundle, hat and slippers and all. Throw them into the stream, and let thorn float down to the sea/

This fresh order executed, the party doubled round f-o the bridge, where I met them. I thanked the men heartily for their faithful adherence to iny diV.-ei and tito excellent and merioormu > v. eric

they liad done. As for our friend the tailor, lie presented a new aspect altogether, and I congratulated him on the happy change. The exterior man was renovated by the ablutions and the fresh habiliments ; so was the interior man by the pledge, which 1 warned him he should faithfully keep, else he would pass through a similar ordeal for every fresh offence. I repeat, the interior man was changed, for during my time in the district he adhered to his pledge, and was a respectable tradesman. The A.C. Force had no need to lock him in while at their work, and he admitted that the performance in the river was the making of him.

As for the bundle of old duds, it floated gaily away down the stream for many miles. Next morning arrived an alarming telegram : ‘ A parcel of old clothes, including shirt, hat and slippers, found floating down the current. Search party out. _ Drowning suspected/ A later message said : ‘ Search party returned. Others gone up each side of the river. No clue to the mystery yet/ As each fresh telegram arrived, the sergeant had it posted up publicly for the benefit of the villagers. The renovated tailor himself vfent and

read the telegrams and enjoyed the joke just like his neighbours.

When the e elite to the mystery 5 reached the bewildered citizens down river, nothing could equal their surprise, and though humiliated at the manner they had been befooled, they willingly acknowledged that the old garments had been long enough in malodorous bondage, that they were entitled to freedom, to the fragrance of wood and dale down river, and to a pleasant voyage at sea, if fortune willed them to reach the broad ocean. So the ‘ search party 5 committed the parcel to the current once more, and wished it a merry voyage. Not many days had passed when a large shark Avas harpooned at thß heads, and amongst other curiosities in his museum ivas found the mysterious x>arcel. The harpooners were justly amazed at the discovery and wrote to a city editor a circumstantial account of the strange find. But the editor, who had been in possession of the secret, hoaxed the harpooners to his heart’s content. History does not say Avliat became of the parcel afterwardsi

As to Billy, I had many strange adventures with bird for a space of two months, ivhen the vendor took him back, charging me 10s per week for the use of him. Fortunately the «£lB, the reduced price at which I purchased him, were? not paid. Otherwise, I verily believe Tomkins would have stuck to the money and invited me ‘ to Avhistle a jig to a milestone. 5 But Billy led me a miserable life. To catch him, even in a stockyard, was a work of delay and difficulty. I tied a long rope to his neck when I let him loose in a paddock. With eagle eye he Aval ched the end of the rope, and on two occasions when I happened to catch it, he made such a plunge and dash forward that I Avas thrown heavily on the hard ground. Never had a horse a greater fear and horror of being caught. Tomkins had got him off some Maori, and he bore many a mark on head and body of illusage. Evidently he had been rendered desperate by savage treatment. Kindness was lost on him. He -would not be reconciled to mankind. Two men accompanied me one day to fetch him from a large paddock, at the foot of which wended a deep and broad creek, Avliich we imagined would help us. But he dashed into the flood boldly enough and swam down the current, as the opposite banks were too steep to offer a landing place. We pursued the fugitive and secured him at a bridge by hiding behind the woodwork and catching the rope on his neck. Nor was this the only occasion of his taking to the flood rather than be seized. Apparently he meant suicide, but the old campaigner always managed to escape a Avatery grave. As for hostlers and blacksmiths, they hated the very sight of him, his kick Avas so accurate and dangerous. Innkeepers Avarned me not to ‘ bring the brute here any more, 5 as he would not be allowed into the stable. Neither man nor horse nor Avail was safe near him. In the whole range of my extensive district there Avas not a blacksmith but refused to put on the hind shoes. So he had to travel without them. But as clay roads and tracks prevailed in that place, the shoeless hoofs suffered very little. It would be difficult to find a more disappointing horse in all respects than poor Billy. He fairly defied and baffled every device of men on foot to secure him in a paddock. A stranger would think him a noble steed when chased; for he bore himself, head and tail, in splendid form. How different when ridden at a smart pace three or four miles ! Why, he had no stamina, no backbone, no grit. Billy Avas a sham and a fraud all round. An expert at kicking at man and beast and stable walls; at breaking through fences and frightening the neighbours; at alarming hotelkeepers and causing much hard swearing and profane language generally—he was good for nothing else. As for filling out with good feed, as Tomkins alleged he would, bah, man ! Like the proverbial ‘ lean kine/ he could eat the fat of the land and retain his lankness unimpaired. Besides, coaxing and kindness were utterly lost on him ; and at the end of two months he left me, as lank and rude and savage as I found him on the first day. Some people stoutly maintained that he Avas possessed of an evil spirit. Others, and not a few, threatened prosecution and legal penalties against me for taking him round amongst people, although he had not yet killed or maimed anyone. People stared and moved to safe quarters Avhen they saAV hnn approaching, and public feeling Avas groAving very bitter against me. Tomkins, the vendor, came iu lor plentiful abuse. ‘ Why did he pawn that horrid baste on anv dacent man ?’

Tmukins pretended much virtuous inti declaring that he was incapable of imposing upon any man. Wa.s if, his fault if the horse was not up to cue mark? The purchaser was a new chum, and every greenhorn should pay for knowledge and experience. Thus did the vendor defend his position. But his arguments fell ‘ flat as a pancake/ especially as the noble Billy had got more than a fair trial. So Tomkins received him back, charging for his use, aud my agonies and adventures with Billy were ended. His subsequent history is easily told. Honest Tomkins disposed of him to a Native across the border line, and there he was shot for breaking a boy’s leg with one of his unerring kicks. ‘ Jabers! he should have got the bullet long ago/ exclaimed Denny, when I met him after Billy’s sad fate. ‘By this and by that, you had a narrow escape with the brute. We have made Tomkins ashamed of himself for giving him to you/