A NEW WAY OF FINDING THE KEYHOLE.

New Zealand Mail, Issue 1262, 7 May 1896, Page 11

A NEW WAY OF FINDING THE KEYHOLE.

Mr W. L. Alden is writing a humorous series of short articles for Pearson's Magazine, under the general heading "Wisdom Let Loose." Hero is one of them :

"Living in a flat has certain advantages. For example, there aro flats in which the use of the piano is strictly forbidden by the terms of tho lease. But, on the other hand, the fiat has its peculiar disadvantages. I lived for some years in a Parisian fiat. It was on tho third iloor, and tho concierge had a pleasing way of turning off tho gas in tho halls and on the stairways, at precisely half-past eleven every night. Now there wero times when I was unablo to return homo until after half-past eleven. It was sufficiently to group my way up to my door, but then I was confronted with

THE TASK OF FINDING THE KEYHOLE. lb was not a wandering keyhole, such as a young man occasionally meets after unduo indulgence in salad. It always ! remained in tho locality, but it was a ' small keyhole, and the difficulty of finding it in the dark was extremely exasperating. You will ask why I did not strike a match. So I did, when I happened to havo one, but it frequently happened that my match-box was empty, or was in somo discarded coat pocket, just when a match might havo helped mo in my quest for tho keyholo. Ono day I mentioned the matter to a retired sea captain, who happened to bo in Paris, and he at once showed it would be possible for me to find my keyholo on the darkest night. Said he : —" All you want to do is to TAKE AN OBSERVATION WITH YOUR UMBRELLA, and fix tho position of that keyholo. After that you can always find it no matter where you have been dining. Just you take your umbrella while it is daylight, and measure tho height of the keyhole from tho floor. Say you make it ono umbrella length, and two finger lengths in addition. Then measure the distance of the keyhole from tho opposite door jamb, making it, say, ono umbrella length, lacking an inch. This will givo you the lattitudo and longitude, so to speak, of that keyhole, and with tho help of tho umbrella you can always find it oven if you aro stone blind, and tho night is foggy as well as regularly dark." Tho captain assured mo that ho had tried this system for years, and had never known it to fail but once, and that was due to tho fact that ho had accidentally returned homo with tho wrong umbrella. I folfowed his advice, and never afterwards had tho slightest difficulty in finding my keyholo. I mention tho matter, partly in tho interests of such of my fellowmen as live in fiats, and partly because it shows that tho usefulness of the science of navigation is not limited to marine affairs."