MEN AND WOMEN, AND MATTERS ALL AROUND.

New Zealand Mail, Issue 1262, 7 May 1896, Page 31

MEN AND WOMEN, AND MATTERS ALL AROUND.

I often seriously wonder if politicians ever reflect that some day they will havo to die. I make this remark in view of the fact that many reckless men are offering themselves as candidates at the approaching election.

And if my suggestion would deter even half a dozen of them in their desperate purpose, I feci I would havo done enough to justify my existence on this earth, and make amends for all my sins. Did you ever have the legislative bee in your bonnet ? It's awful ! The most infernal little imp that ever bussed within a tortured brain,

A correspondent ask 3 me what I think of the equality of the sexes ? Bosh ! Nonsense! How could two things so essentially diil'erent as man and woman ever be equal ? There is ono glory of the sun, and another glory of the moon, and another glory of the stars ; so is there one glory of man and another glory of woman —strength oa one side, tenderness on the other; courage and determination in man, yielding and forgiveness in woman. Lot the difference that nature made remain, for you might as well.

William Q. Judge, president of the Theosophical Society of America, died of consumption at his homo in Now York city on the 21st of March. Judge will be readily remembered by his famous quarrel and controversy with Mrs Annie Besant a few years ago on the genuineness of certain communications alleged to have come from the " Mahatmas" or " Masters," long centuries dead, but which Mrs Besant contended were written by Judge himself.

The controversy nearly disrupted the Theosophical Society. Judge became acquainted with tho notorious Madame Blavatsky and Colonel Olcott in New York back in the seventies, and entered with them into their Theosophical propaganda, which, under all conditions, he kept up till his death. This event is certain to cause a great gap in tho ranks of the Thoosophists all over tho world.

Judge was a lawyer by profession. His love for Oriental research in matters of religion was inherited from his fathcr.and he was known as a deep student of Freemasonry, although ho never joined the order. His body was cremated, and his spirit went off to become a Mahatma.

And now tho Poet Laureate has risen to the importance of being a subject of discussion in tho Imperial Parliament. This is more fame than good poets usually attain, and I hope it will not induce good poets to drop down to Austin's music-hall doggerel.

One member enquired what salary the Laureato receives; another asked if his utterances, idiotic or otherwise, were priviledged; another if ho had to make a confession of political faith, and still another cappod tho climax by asking if tho position of Laureate was not a substitute for tho old ono of Court Jester or tho King's Fool. Poor Poet Laureate !

Our own census-taking gives interest to population all over tho world. The growth of population in the various countries of Europe during tho decennial period 188595 has been very groat, Tho aggregate increase was 29,922,800. Some States have advanced greatly. For example, Kussia added 12,510,800 to her existing population ; Germany, 4,522,000; Austro-Hun-gary, 3,502,200; Great Britain, 2,452/100; Turkey, 1,100,000; and France, 67,100.

King Humbert has signed a decreo granting an amnesty to all persons convicted by the special military tribunals of being concerned in tho revolutionary riots in sTcily and Massa-Carrara in 1893-91, except those sentenced for homicide. Mother England should follow this example and release her political prisoners. A country with political prisoners does not seem all right. Thero .wrong omewhero.

Merchants of Wellington, you should bo just a little careful in accepting orders through tho telephone. One clay last week tho firm of Cameron and Christie was rung up, and a voice said, "My bon is going to the country for a week. Lot him have a gun-not an expensive one—and 6cme cartridges, and charge to me."

The voice purported to be that of a •well-known public official. A couple of hours later a" youth of 15, known to be tho son of tho said official, entered, and carelessly remarked, "My father telephoned you about a gun for me." " Yes," replied Mr Cameron. The gun was selected, tho cartridges done up and the youth loft.

Scene No. 2: An excited gentleman entered the storo of Cameron and Christie with a gun under his arm. "How in tho world did you come to give this to my boy?" Mr Cameron, astonished, replied, "Why you telephoned mo to give it to your son."

The fact was tho boy, with a fine imitation of his father's voice, had done the telephoning and then coolly called tor the -mn and cartridges. He was intercepted at the railway station, on his way to Masterton, by a friend, who thought something was surely wrong. He confessed where he had got the gun, but said nothing about his having telephoned in Ins father s name. "Well," remarked the official at the closo of explanations, " I have saved you a gun." The .boy's imitation, of his

father's voice was perfect, Mr Cameron says. Bad boy!

I wonder if Sir Walter Buller is as cocky as ever after tho exposures of his flambuoyant self - glorification in tho newspapers ?

And, by the way, it is one of the saddest duties of my life to have to tell Sir Robert Stout that the people are fast getting to regard him as a political barnacle who has become a bore.

It is remarkable what an optimistic view some people can take of life, and how lio-htly their responsibilities weigh upon them. A couplo recently got married in London and applied for admission to tho workhouse to speud the honeymoon. The workhouse as a honoymoon resort is a now development in society.

The Continental press is having a great laugh at the London newspapers. On the morning of March 21st all tho London papers announced that Franco had released ex-American Consul Waller, while the fact was that Waller was released on tho 21st February, and had been in London nearly a month when tho papers of that metropolis made the announcement.

It may interest Colonel Fox and our brave defenders to know that a high military authority has expressed the opinion that in tho next great war the cavalry will go in horseless carriages, and the infantry on bikes, while the artillery will bo so heavy that it will not go at all.

Wo are all pleased to learn that Liverpool is becoming sober. Tho prosecutions for drunkenness have fallen from 16,012 in 1889 to 5657 in 1895. No chango has been made in the system of compiling or tabulating these statistics that would affect tho result, but tho police say it is largely duo to a new method of police inspection of licensed houses. Whatever tho cause, it is welcome. Drunkenness is a beastly thing.

Thero is a subject which has weighed heavily on my mind lately; but I hesitated to mention it, because of its delicacy. However, it is bound to force itself out some time, so I may lot it go now as well as later. The subject is the decay and disappearance of blushing. Even tho maidens have lost the art, and I will wager golden guineas to a Maori lion's penfeathers that you can make a declaration of love, or a proposal of marriage, to ten women and not two of them will show the ghost of a blush. Just try it-unless you dread a prompt acceptance or a suit for breach of promise.

And yet what a pity! How much has not poetry, romance and literature generally lost in tho disappearance of the dear eye's suffused with tears and the fresh young cheek rapidly alternating between crimson and white in response to the struggling omotions of deep sensibility and maiden modesty.

The drama, over eager to catch on to all new phases of life, has taken up this one and made it do good service alroady in holding tho mirror up to nature, as she is at present. The modern heroine is always represented as making the ovoitures, as Kato does in "Tho Manxman." And never a blush nor a tear-dimmed eye brings sensibility on the scene, or fills our male bosoms with that vanity which flatters us that, being tho superior, it is our duty to protect, shelter and shield dear women.

Sad ! Business and the ballot box have banished blushing, and the world is vastly the poorer. I wonder if the new woman in her headlong career to " independence " has fully calculated the cost.

They talk about tho unemployed of Wellington ! The Sydney City Night liofugo and Soup Kitchen authorities report that during one month they supplied 9022 meals and gave shelter to 3707 persons, and that relief was also afforded to 777 women and 1215 children. Very little is heard of these unfortunate people in their distress, as there are no elections approaching.

In Ladonia, Tex., tho church women prayed for a physician who prescribed liquor in more than medicinal quantities. After several days of intercession they procured a rawhide and used it on him in tho public streets. That's the kind of faith that moves mountains, and the kind of spirit that actuates tho fanatical prohibitionist.

Ho! Ho' Here's a row; and il would seem to me (he lawyers are at eac-a other.-,'throats, which is better than being at other people's pockets:Wellington, April 29th. Dear Fattv, —

I hopo you will pardon my familiarity, but 1 like you so much, therefore plear.o bo kind. Did you see about that meeting of our " Law Society." I moan that body who did not understand what gentlemen ought to do when a now Judge is appointed. The Society operated against a few poor devils of struggling solicitors who had boon guilty of some peccadillo, and in doing so accomplished nothing and spent over £122 in costs in one year. Not so bad. lam credibly informed that nearly all the alleged gentlemen had a sneaking regard for a prisoner who recently was in the dock charged with tho misappropriation of large sums. The dear brother you will remember was found not guilty. Oh, justice ! justice ! A number of tho gentlemen like the "fatman" and pander to the National Ass. —Jliiuia.

Now, I havo no doubt there is a lot of meaning in this note and a lot of chinmusic behind it, I wait for more, which I know will como. Come, boys, on with tho row j let your tongues be uawn.fin.ed,

The individual who acts as a press hack for the National Ass. and scribbles the venomous abuse of the Government which appears in certain country papers under tho heading of " Wellington Notes," has recently given a portrait of himself. Ho sa y 3 ._" I h ave followed a wide variety of occupations in my chequered career, from working in a particularly wet, dirty underground mine to editing a city newspaper, and fifty other things besides."

Upon this the Nnpier News has tho following caustic comment : fellow ! It is certain that novor yet, in the course of his chequered career, has ho over worked in a more particularly wet and dirty underground mine than that whoi'O tho National Conservative Associations have placed him purposely to gather up mud and filth to throw at bettor men than himself." Very true. But by a law of nature every individual finds out his proper sphere, as water finds its level, and doubtless this is a very congenial work for a self-confessed sundowner. All that seems left to him now is to beccmo a chimney sweep.

Ono of the yarns this individual sent to the Tory press was that " 209 of the wharf labourers in Wellington have joined the National Association." Ananias was a baby to this fellow. The " 200 " waarf labourers in tho story were possibly the two drunken wretches who tried to pass themselves off as of tho unemployed.

Tho apple is still raising Cain with mankind. Tho superintendent of the Burghill Asylum, England, states that the institution contains more inmates with a " cider history " than all other classes of patients combined. Oh, Eve! Evo 1 why did you doit?

And this reminds mo that a curious fact has boon observed in the case of a man who died of delirium tremens. It was ascertained that tho skull contained alcoholic vapour. A small opening mado in the skull soon after death permits the vapour to escape, when it can bo ignited, and burns with a bluish flame. Thero are men walking about in this town who havo nothing in their skulls but alcoholic vapour.

Max O'Eell hasn't forgotten his promise, given to Wellington people on tho last night of his lecturing season here, that he would always speak well of Now Zealand. I notice that Max was interviewed by a Toronto pressman the other day, and said : —"New Zealand,—that is paradise. That is the loveliest climate in tho world. Tho scenery is superb. You havo Normandy ; you have Switzerland ; you have mountain and lake ; you have everything idyllic."

But I'm afraid tho Australians will squeak a bit when they read the interview, for the witty Frenchman doesn't think (as does every " good" Australian) that Australia will ever becomo an America in tho matter of population. Twenty millions would fill it to the brim, owing to its barren tracts. As to the Australian, "ho is an Englishman, only more slouchy, and taking things slowly. Ho has lost all reverence, and thinks himself encumbered if ho has a father or mother to keep."

" Natural Depravity" (I hope not) has contributed tho following apt quotation from the Sacred Book anont my remarks about the decay of blushing -.—" The decay and disappearance of blushing seem leading up to the day when, ' And in that day seven women shall take hold of ono man, saying: We will eat our own bread and wear our own apparel; only let us be called by thy name, to take away our reproach.' —lsaiah 1 chap., 1 verse."

The above prophecy does look significant in the present day ; does it not ? It also opens up tho weighty question—which I hope to discuss very soon, as it is important to us all.

A correspondent, who evidently has a soul capablo of indignation at snoaking meanness, writes me about a little cliquo " who craftily sneaked themselves into places of rich emolument ever since tho early days of tho Provincial Government. They give nothing to any laudable purpose, not even fair acknowledgment to those who assisted them to gain the very comfortable monetary competency they enjoy." Yes, thero are too many such people. They should be rooted out of their don.., even if it took a steam engine to drag them out. And this is tie: class of people who claim to be" superior " persons, you know.

There are only two survivors in France of Napoleon's Grand Army, and ono of them, M. liaillud, was recently decorated by President Fame with the Cross of the Legion of Honour. Hulled is 103 years old) and still reasonably active, though after Waterloo he wa.s discharged from the armv as a consumptive— another proof of the' provoking length of time it often take.; consumption to carry off its subjects.

Of course, you were at church on Sunday, and, of course, you liked the sermon ; but what did you think of tho music ? It is my own opinion that not all tho music we hear in churches nowaday is really suitable lot divine service.

Music in the services of a church should never compromise itself with secular or doubtful association. It should ever be tho music of the heart, the music of the soul, and its object not to please the ear, or tingle tho senses, but tho worship of Almighty God.

As the worship of God is the objectof all congregations, su all tho accessories should take their character and order from that object. And, too, if tho music is not

goad as well as sacred it should not be given at all.

People will not tolerate mediocre music in a secular concert or in the orchestra of a theatre. If they are given poor music in the church it can only destroy the spirit of devotion. It is with duo respect I mako the suggestion to the cloth that they should havo sacred music and good music, or none at all.

Civilisation? No, sir, wo are far from being civilised. Completo universal civilisation will never bo accomplished. Some human beings are incapable of it. For instance, I met a man on tho street yesterday wearing a tall silk hat and a cutaway coat and smoking a pipe. Do you think that man could ever bo civilised ? No, sir, you could never whale the bruto out of him nor good tasto into him.

I hear Dr Jameson has not been ablo_ to sleep since he read Laureate Austin's poems on his exploits. The Chinese have brought punishment down to tho refined cruelty of keeping prisoners awake until they are driven insane. Tho Chinese Government should make Austin their Lord High Chief Executioner.

And, by tho way, talking of China, I understand Li Hung Chang, after attending tho approaching coronation ceremonies in Russia, will make a tour of America and probably coma down this way. Ho will travel in tho bright redrobo of tho Ancient Order of a High Old Time.

Mahomed Bey, one of thoso arrested for affiliation with tho Young Turkish Party (see Constantinople letter on another page), is about 30 years old. As a boy, ho was extraordinarily nimble. It was his habit then to chase a half-trained pony about the paddock at his father's house, mount it with a leap, and gallop about without a semblance of fear. He is, however, in a littlo more danger now, for they havo mysterious ways of doing away with prisoners in Turkey.

" Silly, if you could only see how my heart throbs for you, and you alone " exclaimed tho lover of Petone. " Hold on, Bill," the maiden cried, " till I get my camera and turn the X rays on you." And thus scienco has finally ccme to tho aid of truth in tho great question of love. Love-making and lying can no longer bo synonymous.

Do you not think that, as a we are too serious and matter-of-fact? Tho instinct of vivacity, life, fun, gcod spirits, joviality and so forth seems to havo departed, if wo over possessed it. Earoly does a ringing laugh tinglo in our cars and send its infectious currents through our blood. Our risibilities seem to have atrophied for want of healthy oxercise. A faint, weak smile is the most wo see on the faces of those wo meet in tho streets or public places. Wo go along like so many melancholy statues, or penny-in-the-slot machines trying to look wise by simulating earnostness, and wo call our dulness gravity and our dozing thinking.

Wo are losing evon tho sonse of humour, and cannot understand a joke when it is mado. Life is an awfully—desperatelyserious thing with us, and I fear if we do not chango in this respect we will become a really miserable race—that is, miserable within ourselves. A good laugh is the best medicine in the world, and tho best music of all the spheres. Try it.

And, too, thero are some people in this town who will never dio. Why? you ask. Because it would bo too much of a chango. They are not accustomed to it. They never did it before. Therefore, it must not be. No innovations can bo allowed. Wo must stick to our old idols, Precedent and What-Has-Been. We won't be disturbed. Let us alone, oven the world does run over us and away from us. Just so. Good-day!

The ultra " refined " person is about tho most offensive as well as useless member of the community. This is tho person who, utterly ignorant of English literature, attempts to criticiso everything.

Young women of this kind should go out to the country and milk cows for a month. It would do'them much good, and make tii"ui more natural. Miss Prim ;.; a nuisance.

l have just read an article on the advantages of the totalisator. The very best advantage is lo keep away as far as possible from if

It may .sound very strange that i thens, the ancient home of Greek letters, u-svur had a public library until the mio'ou-; of one was formed some thirteen month-, ago by three womm. The start was mod:'',, fyr-ooJv 1000 works adorned tho shelves.

There are now some 5000 volume's, and curiously enough only 400 of them are in Greek. One native when tho library was first opened paid the dues, took out a book, read it in half a day, and then waited a whole month heforw returning to get another, that being his understanding uf tho terms of tho organisation.

At times humanity does display a generous and appreciative streak by honouring the memory of their mighty dead. Great preparations are being mado in Paris to perpetuate the name of M. Pasteur. A commission has been appointed to consider the best site in Paris for meeting a statue of this great man. They now appeal for au international subscription, claiming that the services and tho work of M. Pasteur against malady

and death were international in theif scope.

" The general appearance and get-up of the New Zealand Times shows a vast; improvement of late. Its reading matter is well classifiod, and important articles are brought into prominence by wellselected headlines."— Hastings .Standard. Thanks, brother. You look neat and trim and ship-shape and quite bright and busi-ness-like yourself.

Acknowledging tho copy of a resolution passed at numerous meetings held in London and throughout tho country under the auspices of the Unemployed Organisation, both Lord Salisbury and Mr Chamberlain politely told the resolvers to go elsewhere.

Now, if our Ministers had dono this, which no doubt was officially quite correct, what a howl wo would havo heard against Seddonism. Our Opposition politicians are very small potatoes—not a kumera among them.

Tho Sydney Bulletin says:—" At a M.L. (Maoriland) mooting of creditors it was found that there wore no assets in the estate. ' Well,' said one of tho creditors* 'give us a song, Blank. Let us havo something for our brass.' The impecunious! one rose up and sang 'Then You'll Remember Me.' " This is a real neat little yarn for tho Bulletin to get off on Maoriland ; but why did it not name the locality where the interesting little incident occurred ? Otherwise tho Bulletin must bo held guilty of romancing.

Oxford University, with all the acerbity of ingrained prejudice, has thrown out the female students' claim to tho same degrees as men, when they had passed tho required examinations. Many women achieved quite romarkable success in these oxaminations.

In all justice they are entitled to whatever professional value or benefit there is in tho magic M.A. or 8.A., especially as many of the young women intend to ean* their living 'by teaching. The Times. strongly opposes the women, and goes so far as to say that to admit women would bo fatal to tho character and prestige of! the famous seats of learning. How hard old-crusted prejudice does dio. But let the girls take heart. They will got thore yet, for thoy must.

And while I am in the good and agreeable presence of the women, let me say that woman's part in the civilisation and elevation of the human race has novor been fully appreciated. Take religion alone, and what has she not done all down from tho time when she hold high place in the enlightened paganism of the Greek religion ?

What grand and ennobling influence did not tho female deities of Pagan mythology wield on rude and brutal man ; and then add tho women of Christian mythology. Wo know that the sacred order of vestal virgins kept lamps burning in tho temples* of Greece for ten centurios.

Tho glory and power of golden-sandalled Juno is celebrated throughout the Iliad, and then look at Minerva, goddess of arts and wisdom, who sprang, full armed, from tho hoad of tho Olympian father. And all down through tho ages women havo been lamps in dark places, shedding sweetness and light, softening, refining, civilising her race. Glory and power to woman. I firmly believe whatever civilization we have to-day is duo to woman, as Pagan goddess, Christian saint and martyr, mother, wife and sister. Tho English colleges ought to bo ashamed of themselves. A race of better and nobler men will not only freely recognise but reward woman for what she has dono.

Will the Ntw Woman marry? asks a correspondent. You may bet your life she will got thero if she can. That is one of tho very few things regarding which thero is no room whatever for doubt or debate. On this you can take tho word and observation of The Fat Contributor.