THE BYSTANDER.

New Zealand Mail, Issue 1261, 30 April 1896, Page 10

THE BYSTANDER.

‘ When found make a note of.” —Cart. Cuttle

A CarleGrvm last week informed ua that Dr Luegcr, who leads the anti-

A DANOEKOU! DEMAGOGUE.

Somites and Socialists in rs Vienna, has been elected mayor of that city. His election as mayor was disallowed last October, on accoir.it of the

offence it might give in Hungary, whose people he attacks in all his speeches. Says a Vienna correspondent: —" Dr. Lucgor is now the most dangerous demagoguo Austria has ever known. Women among the weaker sex the anli.Semitic insanity rages at the highest fever-point-kiss the hern of his cloak as ho leaves crowded political weetir>gs ; make pilgrimages to a village church near Vienna to pray before an oil painting depicting a carriage accident from which this demagogue barely escaped with his life; and often demonstrate in noisy groups in the streets under the influence of his oratory. The Luegcr March is whistled everywhere. Military bands at public fetes have been forbidden to play it, but at the dances in the huge popular resorts in the Kaiserstadt it is encored as often as seven times of nti evening, amid roaring applause. University students shout ' Hocb, Luegcr !' in the faces of citizens whose better appearance denote they belong to or sympathise with his opponents.''

In the Contemporary Review for February Mr George Bernard Shaw, the

SOGTAMSM FOR MILLIONAIRES.

well known Socialist, is good enough to advise the modern millionaire how to best spend his money. He says:— "Hero, then, is the simple

formula for the public benefactor. Never give the people anything they want ; give them something they ought to want and don't. Thus we find at the end of it all, appositely enough, that the great work of the millionaire, whose tragedy is that !.• lias not needs enough for his means, is to create needs. The man who makes the luxury of yesterday the need of to-morrow is as great a benefactor as the man who makes two cars of wheat grow where one grew before. Requests to the public should be for the provision of luxuries, naver of necessaries. The intelligent millionaire need not hesitate to subsidise any vigilance society or reform society that is ably conducted. The millionaire should ask himself what is his favourite subject. Has it a school, with scholarships for the endowment of research and the attraction of rising talent at the universities? Has it a library, or a museum ? If not, then he has an opening at once for his ten thousand or hundred thousand."

It is possible for any Chinaman, or China-

«' DEITIES " TO OKDEK.

woman, to become a "deity by paying for the honour. A few years ago a rich and devout Chinese lady died in Soocboo.

Her friends thought that an apotheosis was no more than her duo, and communicated with the priests, who discovered that the God of the Left Little lou Nail had no wife. She was accordingly married to his godsliip, and is now enrolled as the “Goddess of tile Left Little Toe Nail.’ The distinction cost the old lady’s estate over £IOOO.

The new Premier of Cape Colony, Sir John Gordon Spri™, is the son of a

THE NEW PREMIER AT THE CAVE.

r Baptist minister. lie was, first of all, a reporter ; but went to the Cape for hte health when he was twenty-eight, married a farmer's daughter,

and became himself a farmer, .and gradually grew famous as a statesman. It is, of course, a well-known fact that Mr Cecil llhodes also first went to the Cape in search of health, his doctor thinking, when ho went out, that he could not live more than a few months.

The following paragraph from a London paper is of special interest in

AN KXTKAOHDINAUT I'IUKOX STORY.

view of some recent news received by cable :—Early on r the morning of Friday, the (3th December, there was a great commotion in the dovecot of the Nansen household in (Jhris-

tiania, which made Mrs Nansen hurry to the poultry-yard. A carrier pigeon, which had been absent for many months, had suddenly returned safe and sound to its mates. The bird had come all the way from the icy North Polar regions, and on its neck was a message to Mrs Nansen from her ice-bound husband, the explorer, in the far North. It was learned from the letter that no accidents had so far befallen the party, and that the intrepid Norseman was still confident of planting his country's flag on the North Pole.

Mb Edward Dicey, who is an admitted authority on international

TUB ISOLATION OF ENGLAND.

questions, has a tnougturui article in the Fortnightly Review for February, iu which he says: —"There is not a sintrle " important Continental

State which is not in one way or another frustrated in her ambitions, outraged in her vanitv, and injured in her interests, by the magnitude, wealth, and power of the British Envoire. A similar conclusion, must, I fear, I,e arrived at with regard to the New World. The real cause of our national unpopularity is one incapable of removal. I remember once an acquaintance of mine, who had suddenly become possessed of an immense fortune, complaining to me that, though he had always tried to show kindness to his old friends and associates, they lost no opportunity of runtime him down. My answer was that if he really wished to avoid these unkindly comments the remedy was perfectly simple. He had only got to go into the Gazette, and every one would say at once what a good fellow he was. A similar remark applies to England. Wo are unpopular because, as a nation, we are richer, freer, and more successful than our neighbours There is not a State in the civilised world to whose vanity the magnitude of our

prosperity and giandeur is not a cause of constant offence. My millionaire friend did not follow my advice ; and if similar advice were proffered to Great Britain it would he rejected with equal promptitude. Yet short of this drastic remedy for the removal of our unpopularity, I can suggest no remedy for our isolation. Isolated we are, and isolated we must remain,”

Rc the yarn about Bishop Julius, of Chiistchurch, saying that the

A I STORY OF \ BISHOP V JULIUS. 1 I i..„ „i r„

man who put bad threepennybits in the collection-plute wanted the grace of God very badly—or three months' hard. When Mr Julius was archolln.of /Vi/.tnrin\ lin (rninPfl .1

deacon at Ballarat (Victoria), lie gained a replication for saying smart tilings, but once fell in badly—at a Dungaree agricultural 3how. llcaching a reaper and binder in company with a parly of claqueurs, his reverence gravely asked the attendant, " My good man, is this the celebrated sheep-shear-ing machine we have heard so much about?" The man looked for a moment, without replying ; then, noticing the clerical aspect of the questioner, demanded, "Arc you a farmer, sir?" "So," replied the fiendscaicr, "I'm a shepherd." "Is that so?" queried the reaper-agent; " ho<v ofcen do you shear your flock '" — Bulletin.

Mark Twain tells an amusing story against Inmcolf iii onnnnftkinn wil.h

ROUGH ON MARK.

himsen. in connection wuu Darwin. He says that a friend told him lie hail paid n visit to the great scientist. Davwin received him kindly, showed

him his library and dissecting-room, and, pointing to a table on which stood a lamp and an open book, said : —“ You must he careful not to disturb that. That book is the ‘ Innocents Abroad.’ I keep it open on the table, and always read myself to sleep at night, and read myself awake in the morning.” Mark Twain was much flattered by this tribute to his humour, and when Darwin’s biography was published procured a copy to see what might he said about himself. He searched it through in vain. r lhc only possib’o allusion to himself was the statement that, in his later years, Darwin suffered from a species of atrophy of the brain, which incapacitated him from the c-njoyment of any good literature at all, and compelled him to seek mental rest in the perusal of trashy novels and vacuous “ humour!”

IIEI/IOIOUS shows, the forerunners of [lie

RELIGIOU SHOWS.

modem passion piny, wers m popular with our ancestors, as appears from Mr James Hamilton Wv'ie's " Historv of Kay-

ton Wyties " utsrory or nngland under Henry IV." (1407-1410). "From early sunrise the whole population was in the street; the pageant-wains were trundled from station to station along the appointed thoroughfares, and from haif-past -1 in the morning to the close of the long summer day the old Horipture story was acted out in sections, from the Creation to the dreadful Day of Doom. At one street corner was Adam with his lickefous (signifying dainty or delicate) wife, both 'naked and all bare,' God being played by a man in a linen coat with his face gilt, and Satan as an 'odder,' or a worm with an angel's face. At another was Noah, 500 years old, and ' out of q-.yart,' with his legs beginning to fold for feggiuess of age, shedding his gown to work in his coat for 100 years at the Ark. When his wife will not come in without her gossips, he pulls her in and gets 'a clout' from her ere she will let be her din. Then 'fora twelvemonth but 12 week' they feed the fowls and the cattle, i «., swans, dogs, cocks, hens, and as many strange beasts as they could find, the rest being painted on boards hung round the ark, ' that their words might agree with the pictures.' After this they cast the lead to see if the water is waning ; they give the Crow, the Doves, the Hainbow, and ' HilU of Uermonyc,' till the beasts are unbraced, and the ' barnes' with Iheirvvivcs go out in (iod's blessing.' 1

Not very far from P.ill viall, says a L union correspondent, ;i new cluh has

A QUIET CAM!-: OF NaP.

been started, and a quiet game of " nap" was being played. A young man, one of the ]>!a>era, had occasion to leave the card room iust before the

Hie u;uu iiiijiu irajic <•">. cards wore dealt. On his return, the dealer said " Those arc j'Oui' cards," and threat was his delight when lie found that ace, king, (|iieen, knave of diamonds and ace of spades had been dealt to him. Something in tlw uppearance of one of the other players made him feel suddenly suspicious, but of course he called " nap," when an expression of itttisfaction appeared on bin single ad-j versary's face, the other players having thrown up their hands. Inslcidof making diamond trumps lie played the ace of spade", making spaies trumps, and followed with his ace, king, queen and knave of diamonds. When the hands were turned up, it appeared that his wily antagonist possessed live diamonds, four smal'. ones and the ten ! Had the supposed greenhorn made diamond trumps ho -would have lost, instead of which he won his rap, pocketed £lO and said, "Good evening, gentlemen." He next day reported the occurrence to the committee, and the four members who were playing cards with him that evening were not seen in that club any more. Mk BIRRELL, a witty member of the House

THE WOKS OV PBIVATB MKIUJEItS.

of Commons, has voiced the grievances of new members in '' the discussion on the new rules of procedure. He was not, he . said, at all in sympathy with Ministers. They were bold,

bad men. If they were not bold, b.id men, they would not bo Ministers. They had only become Ministers by elbowing and crowding nice, quiet private members on one side. They were not only bold and bad, but they had salaries paid quarterly in advance, and, moreover, they had private rooms in the House to which they could retire when bored to death by the ceaseless chatter of hou. members, where they could sit in peaceful silenceand delightful solitude, and in a minute they could be brought back if anyone was ill-advised enough to move a reduction of their salaries. More precious

than all, they had occupation honest departmental work-—to prevent their minds feeding upon themselves. Very scant herbage, possibly—but none the loss disagrctable and bitter in the mouth. Neither did lie care a straw for members of the front Opposition bench. They had occupation ; they had their oratorical reputations to maintain and their repartees to reduce into writing. A private member, on the other hand, had no salary, no private room, no reputation to maintain, and, unless lie was a bore of tlie first magnitude, lie could find nothing to occupy his mind, owing to the asphyxiating atmosphere of the House.

TimKß nro about 1,750,000 books, papers, ami pamphlets i/i tht! British

Til 10 UUITISH MIWEUM LIJIUAKY.

Museum, and it takes 39 miles of shelving to hold them. Tne shelvoi occupied by London newspapers are 0 9 yards in lpnortli : tbri-p. onfillnied bv

U:llL r UI , UIO-C OJCUpiC'I UY provincial, colonial, ami foreign newspapers, 20G5 yards ; the total measurement thus being about two miles and aquirtor. In a single year tho British newspapers fill 111 yards of shelving, or one mile in sixteen yiars.

When Dr Temple (now Bishop of London)

A BEAST, Bu'T A .1 L'ST BKAST.

was the head-master of Rugby, ', a boy came up before him for eorae breach of discipline, and the fads seemed bo against the lad that he was in imminent

danger of being expelled. lie had a defence, but being neither clearheaded nor lluent in tlie presence of the head-master, lie could not make it clear, lie therefore wrote home to his father, detailing at length his position and his explanation. His father very wisely thought the best tiling lie could do was to send the boy’s letter as it stood to Dr Temple, merely asking him to overlook any familiarity of expression. Apparently, the father had not turned over tlie page and seen his son’s postscript, for there Dr Tempiefound the following words “If I could explain it would ho all right, for though Temple is a beast, he is a just beast.” The Bishop, in telling til* stoiy, is accustomed to say that it was one of tiie greatest compliments he lias ever received in his life.

Territory, like money, tends to increase rapidly when judiciously

EVEIt EXTENDING.

managed, of which fact, says Casscll's Saturday Journal, there could hardly he a stronger

example than in the rapid growth of Britain'* ever-extending colonial empire, reaching in to almost every portion oE the explored globe. If is now possible to tour completely round the world fiom this country without once landing on foreign soil. To accomplish this extensive journey the traveller would proceed from Loudon, or any port in the British I-des, to Halifax, Nova Scotia, cross Canada to Vancouver, cross the Pacific Ocean to Hongkong, and thence, via Singapore, Peninjir, Mauritius, Capetown, St. Helena, to England ; or from Pcnang the traveller might return by Ceylon, Bombay, Aden, t'erim, Malta, Gibraltar, to the port from which flic start was made.

TllE homeless woman found dying of consumption the other day on u

what's IN A XAME ?

doorstep at Carlton (Melbourne', was named Blanche Alexandra Francis. The name

suggests the heroine who lounges in a gilded boudoir in the London Journal. But how sadly out of place it sounds on a damp doorstep in a great, cold, busted city. Blanche Alexandra couldn’t even get into the hospital, for it was crowded with typhoid patients, so a kindly widow took her in and cared for her till she died.— Bulletin.

Tub Dads, wh > arc a people inhabiting the Bouthcvn slopes of the Alias

" TUB DADS."

mountains within the nominal jurisdiction of tho Emperor of Morocco, favourably impressed

Mr Walter Hums, author of '• Fafllot: the Narrative of Exploration in the Atlas Mountains and Oasis of North-west Sahara." " Fierce as they are in war "—he says—" the people of Dads are when at p?acc the gentlest of creatures, extremely devoted to their children, and living a home-life absolutely unknown amongst the Arabs. .Just as in appearance, so in moral character, do they excel, and the vices so common amongst the Moors arc unknown in the h ;mcs of the Berbers. They seem to possess none of that uncontrollable passion that is so huge a feature in the Arab character, and its place is taken by affection and sincerity. Seldom marrying more than one wife, prostitution is absolutely unknown, with the result that the health of the tribe is excellent, and one never sees those horrid disliguremonts of features 60 common in other portions of Morocco. No doubt to a jrcat extent the moral character of the Ijeibers is due to the fact that their women are allowed entire liberty, do not veil their faces, and mix on almost all occasions with the men. One of the first things that struck me on my arrival at Dads was the good-humoured and innocent chaff that passed between the men and the girls of the tribe, even in the streets of the ksar, and still more when they brought us our food t) the minzah on the housetop. The women are distinctly pretty, with very fair skins and clear complexions; but they detract much from their appearance by the strange manner in which they adorn their features with henna and kohl, the former a red dye, the latter antimony."

Slaves arc medium of exchange in Hausahuui, the Western Sudan, as

SLAVKEiY IN TUB SUDAN.

appears from Mr C. H. Robinson's account of hia travels in that country : —" Slaves form to a great extent the currency of

tlit 1 country, where larger amounts are involved than can be conveniently paid in cowrie?. When, for instance, a native is about to travel for any considerable distance, he will usually take with him slaves proportionate in number to the length of his proposed journey. After travelling perhaps a hundred miles he will stop and sell one of his Blaves, and with the proceeds will travel another hundred miles, when he will

I sell a second. lie will probably so arrange that by the time he gets home again he will have sold all the slaves which lie look with him on setting out, with the exception of his personal attendants.” Mr Bobinsou stayed three months at the Hitherto unknown town of Kano, which is 750 miles distant from Lokoja on the Niger. Kano is a walled city, 15 miles round, with 100,000 inhabitants. There are supposed to he 15,000,0 0 of people in Ilausaland, avast region between the mouth of the Niger and Lake Chad. To give civilisation a start, Mr llobinson suggests the introduction in wholesale quantities of the Maria Theresa dollar, which at present passes as good money, and the construction of a railway.

A GOOD story is told of Thomas Carlyle, who, when busy, treated the

NEITHER APPRKCIAT ED IT.

intrusion of strangers as :i sort of crime. His room in Cheyne How was octagon in form, ami the doors of the cupboards, of

,vliich there were several, were similar in size ami shape lo the entrance-floor. One day a visitor from Weimar prevailed on the servant to let him in, ,; as he had a letter of introduction," and presently he stood before Carljle, who read the note, and finally said with icy coldness—" Well, sir, proceed." The gentleman was much taken aback, for he had expected a cordial welcome, so, after saying that ho feared ho was intruding, he made for the door. It was locked, however, and so was the next door as well as the next, till the miserable visitor stood pantingly at bay. " That, sir, is the door P said Carlyle at' last, gruflly, and in a moment the astonished stranger hail vanished. Then Carlyle rushed downstairs, and abused everybody from the kitchen upwards, finally assuming an attitude, and loudly asking " what he had done that it should send a person all the way from Weimar, for no earthly purpose but to interrupt him in the midst of his work and then to wrench od the handles of his cupboard doors." Having in this way worked oil" his indignation, the philosopher returned to his room and resumed his writing.

Japan has a hanking house that has boon in business without a break old for more than throe hundred establised. years. It began with Teelngo No Kami, an impoverished feudal noble of tho province of Iso, who broke away from tho traditions of his caste, and went into the liquor trade. One of his sons established a bank, which two centuries ago was removed to Tokio, the present capital, and from the name of the principal at the time was called the Mitsui Bank, by which name it is now known. Like the Kothschilds, the whole family is engaged in the business, a marked feature of which is that tho capital belongs to all in common, while no one member can claim a separate share. The bank has now more than thirty branches, and is the largest private bank in Japan.

The Gorman socialistic newspaper, Vor~ waerls. is said to have boon

THE KAISER AND THE SOCIALISTS

it established on a sound finan- : cial basis by the very Gov- ?. ernment authorities who

wanted a chance to suppress it. Torwacrts was bringing itself out with much difficulty, and the death mark seemed to be coming on its young brow when Emperor William gavo tho word that it was a dangerous publication which all loyal officials must follow with a watchful eye. So thousands of officials suddenly bought Forwacrls in order to keep an eye on it, and tiie circulation of the beastly disloyal rag having gone up like a rocket, remained up. Badical journalism all the world over owes a good deal to its fervent enemies.— Bulletin.

JimaE Fernald, of Santa Barbara, says a fc'risco naner. lias fcho romila-

OVER, rorATK.

r risen \>A\)\ii, ii;t:s lihi lujjiiliilion of being the politest man in California. He never loses

an opportunity to doff his hat or offer some slight attention to wayfaring men and women. One day, ns ho was about to tako tho train for San Francisco, lie reached tho rear stop of tho last carriage just as it was approached by a young priest. “After tho cloth,” said the chivalric judge, stepping back with a courtly bow. ’“Grey hairs have the preference,” returned the priest, with a splendid wave of the hand. “The Church always has precedence,” retorted the judge, taking another backward step, hat in hand. “ The Church follows in the footsteps of the Fathers,” replied the priest, bowing low and indicating the way to tho step. The duel of politeness was not half through, neither yielding an inch, when the train started, leaving both bowing and smiling on tho platform, to tlie amusement of tho onlookers.

Confirmation of the drawbacks of lifo on tho Wostorn Australian

DKK.UtV WKSTKAMA !

goUlfield'j is undo with uvury mail. The latest lottor is published in the

Sydney Evening News, and has been received from a Picton butcher, who left recently to try his luck at Coolgardie. It runs:—"l am just sending you a few lines that might be of use to any ono who is intending to try his luck in the west. I have travelled over 1000 miles of West Australia, and as near as I can tell you it is composed of sin, sorrow, sand, salt, hunger, broken hearts, dust, hot weather, flies and sore eyes, not forgetting the unemployed. For a man to corno over hero prospecting he wants a fortune bohind him, as everything is dreadfully dear and expensive, ovenkittons I saw sold in the sale at 10s each; and as for wages, it is impossible for everyone, not being a practical miner, to got work. A good miner can tret £3 10s a week, and out of that it costs 10s a week for water alone. The prices of eatables aro as follow: Bread, Is 3d per loaf; salt, Cd per lb; sugar, 8d per lb; potatoes, Sdper lb; fresh beef, Is per lb (and that tough that you can't eat it); water, 9d per gallon. Men aro coming here at the rate of 200 daily, and are leaving

just as quickly. The only ones that ard stopping here are those that have not got enough to take them away, and those who peg out.”

Furthermore tho Picton sufferer announces his experience of

THE TRUTH ABOUT COOLOAKDIE.

Coolgardie:— "The place is rotten with typhoid fever, and men are dying every

day. I saw the undertaker tako six out of the hospital on Friday last, and on Sunday live more were buried. They do not publish the deaths of those that dio here in tho newspapers, so you don’t hear of many dying. I knew four men who were camped in a tent, and three of them died in a week. Tho railway is to bo opened to Coolgardie next week, and then that will bring tho machinery up hero which is stacked at Fremantle, and it is the opinion of a great number that thirty-nine out of forty mines will prove duffers, and that is likely to cause tho English capital to be withdrawn, and if that is done the wonderful Coolgardie will bo left to the blacks once more. There aro fully 50,000 men on the various fields in West Australia at present. In conclusion I trust this will stop some of tho Picton people from wasting their money by coming over here.”

The "letter chain " nuisance, says tho

TIIE"r,ETTEI CHAIN " NUISANCE.

Qnecnslander, has boon started it by some philanthropic lady in Now South Wales ; and many Brisbane folk are now takinf her name in vain.

Liuiiiu; iji;i jiciuiu m mill. Several of our readers already find life a burden as tlio postman leaves his daily pill or two, which are so deftly put up that the man or woman who does not take them feels the pangs of an outraged conscience. It is in the cause of humanity—and so on. In Sydney, however, an irate parent lias fisted hispen in protest. He has written to the Sydney Morning Herald to denounce this method of providing a separate ward for children in a cottage hospital in New South Wales; and, while admitting the object to he good, calls the means " monstrous." Wo quite agreo having been bitten.

The gentleman in question explains. This is the scheme oxplainod

HOW THE SCHEME WO HK.'i.

in full detail: —" Each person wlio receives from a friend a letter of appeal is to send a copy of it to each of throa friends,

patting on each of the three letters the number next highest above the number found on the letter of appeal received. The letter of appeal first recoired is to be sent to an address m New South Wales, enclosing ten or more cancelled postage stamps—a philatelic friend having promised to give for a million of these stamps such sum as, with the Government endowment, will sullico to build the ward—also giving names and addresses of the three friends, to whom fresh appeals are made. The process is to bo continued till No. SO is reached. On stamping my daughter's four letters it struck mo it meant spending Sd postage to send a few cancelled postage stamps, the Government thereby receiving the Sd, and the hospital the cancelled stamps—value, say, a halfpenny. I then looked further into the scheme, and saw how preposterous it is. I counted as far as 32 only, and found that up to that point that if no break took placo in the ' letter chain ' no less a sum than ,£30,853,GG9,814,1')7 7s would lie spent in postage to send the cancelled stamps. The philatelic friend would not in a life time be able to count all the stamps ho would receive, when No lb* oven would bo reached. Letters with No. 1 on them would mean four 2d stamps ; with No. 2, 12 ; with No. 3, 30 ; and so on in geometrical progression up to SO terms. Logarithms would bo a great advantage to calculate the enormous toault—lSulleiin.

Mn J. W. GnEuoKV, in the Nineteenth Century for February, sots

GERMANY AND AFRICA.

forth his view as to thu moving cause which led tho German Emperor to interfere with the Transvaal in

an article tracing the historical growth of Gorman policy in South Africa. It is well known, said Mr Gregory, how, toward the end of the soTontic3, the Gorman colonial party, loci by a number of men who were bitterly hostile to England, resolved to force Bismarck's hand and settle Germany in Africa somewhere near the Capo. It is is also well known how the far-seeing Sir Bartlo Frero guessed their aims, and urged upon tho British Government the annexation of the country, and how Ludoritz planted the Gorman flag there, in spite of protosts from tho Cape. Then Bismarck fenced with Granville, until ho had learnt tho strength of the colonial party at homo, and knew how far England would resent aggression. Having decided that we should do nothing worse than argue, ho pounced upon the country, and in August, 1884, proclaimed a protectorate over Namaqualand. Almost simultaneously Peters was making treaties on tho east coast of the continent, and Germany tried to occupy St. Lucia Bay, on tho Zulu coast. Tho German plan was cloarly to secure a bolt of country right across Africa from tho Atlantic to tho Indian Ocean, and thus bar British extension to the north. England saw tho danger and acted promptly : she seized St. Lucia Bay, and annexed Bechuanaland, and thus completely frustrated tho German designs, at least south of the Zambesi.