MEN AND WOMEN, AND MATTERS ALL AROUND.

New Zealand Mail, Issue 1261, 30 April 1896, Page 31

MEN AND WOMEN, AND MATTERS ALL AROUND.

Just read the following little note, daintily written on cream-laid, rose-tinted paper, which has reached iny “den”:—

Wellington, Monday Dear Fat Contributor,—

After seriously thinking for some days of your invitation to come and have a waltz, I have decided to accept. I believe the likeliest place to meet you will be at the next social of the Journalists’ Institute, so consider yourself engaged for ono waltz at least. Am sorry you think ladies look ungraceful when bicycling. I think so too; but wo enjoy the exercise, goodo! I feel quite Mondayish, so lam off for some of the said exercise. Adieu.— From your sincere admirer.

No, Ido not print tho initials. I never tell tales out of school. Hut I print the letter to make tho mean, the envious, the malicious, feel just as bad as they possibly can. In return to tho fair lady who wrote me such a nice, appreciative note (and sympathy is very welcome to a poor orphan like myself) 1 would say that the latest approved bicycle costume is all in white. The material is of white flannel or corduroy, the boots of white leather, the gloves of chamois, and a coquettish white Tam-’o-Shanter, with a white quill, is worn on tho head,

But i 3 it not too bad how earnest-faced Warning always breaks in on our sweetest pleasures? The warning in this instance is that it will not do for young ladies like to go cycling on our Wellington streets in the above costume after a rain storm. Wellington mud is altogether too affectionately clinging. And, too, beware of the bicycle face and the bicycle foot. The face grows long and hard and foot largo—both detriments to symmetry and beauty.

One of those curious, scientific gentlemen, who test everything, tells us that ho sleeps more profoundly and falls asleep more rapidly when ho lies with his head westerly than in any other position. Jn this case experience differs with theory, tor with the head westerly the rotation of the earth might be expected to direct tho course of the blood towards the bead, and thus interfere with brain rest and sleep. .But theory and experience are often at variance, as wo have all found out long

Piety, by the way, is often a good thing iron from a purely business point of view. Archdeacon Farrar has made over 1.0,(XX) out of bis books “ The Life of Christ,” “Tho Lifo of St. Paid” and “ Early Days of Christianity.” It pays to be good, neighbour; so be good.

A correspondent reminds mo that what tho Seddon Ministry did for the country in tho matter of tho Midland Railway alone should entitle it to a lease for the balance of tho Premier’s natural lifo. I quito agree with my correspondent. The people have only to look back and they will readily find a hundred things that call for a continuance of the present Government; and when it comes to voting tho people will look back. The talk of Stout, Russell and Co. and the bray of tho Nat. Ass. will be as vain as whistling against the wind.

Says the Taieri Advocate : —Her Most Gracious Majesty Queen Victoria, Empress of India, has cabled her sympathy with the sufferers of the Brunner disaster. With every* feeling of loyalty, we would say, “ Darn her sympathy ; a cheque for .£SOO would have been more to the purpose.”

But the Taieri Advocate should know that Her Majesty cannot help every good cause. Her dominions are very wide and tho calls many.

An Armenian Blue Book, just issued, and covering tho time from September 3rd till February 12th, says the number of persons killed in the massacres there was not less than 25,QU0. Horrible!

If this m*w photography, which reveals hidden things, could only catch a view of the North and South Poles, what a great thing it would bo for those who are itching now, ns people have been for e •nturies, to see what tlmy look like. And it might also save a lot of lives and money that otherwise will be given up in fuluie expeditions.

A ml, too, what a help the new photography should prove to the police in revealing bidden crime. There would be no more mysteries of London, or Paris, or Gotham, or of our own ['clone.

Tho celebrated Count Tolstoi is severe on modern authors. He says in an article in the Moscow Kov.ricr : —“ In surveying contemporary novelists and novels, I am bound to say that f hardly ever find anywhere a single original idea, or even a single original literary turn.” What ? Not even in your own wi Rings, Count ?

The man who is always “ protecting ” his reputation rarely has any to protect. The man who has, does not worry about it, for tho qualities that made it also preserve it.

Tho anxious fellow is only trying to make people believe that a vacuum is a strong box of solid coin ; but lie only deceives himself by thinking ho can deceive others.

We all know the empty pretender, for

betrays him. He is not wholesome or hearty or natural.

“ What is this trouble in the Transvaal about ?” asks a correspondent. My dear sir, the Transvaal is guilty of containing rich goldmines that yield from five to seven millions sterling per year, and men and nations have not yet evoluted out of the barbarism of cutting throats for gold. Only this and nothing more. The Transvaal itself is all right.

I have not tho honour of personally knowing Mr A. Greenfield, S.M., and I hope to heaven I never shall, if the following paragraph correctly gives his idea of law and justice :

“An old man named John Dixon was charged, before Mr A. Greenfield, S.M., with having no visible means of support, and was sentenced to 12 months’ imprisonment with hard labour.”

Twelve months at hard labour for the “crime” of being so unfortunate as to have no homo or means of support! This would seem to be not only manufacturing criminals, but giving them the cold steel of the law with a vengeance. If there is any explanation of this sentence, which on the face of the paragraph quoted looks extraordinary, I would like to hear it.

One single nugget of crystallized truth is worth “ the crushing.? of all the Rand,” as the Poet Laureate would express it. And when one meets such nuggets in unexpected places the treasure becomes all the greater. Just see the following from a contemporary that is notorious for being always “agin tho Government ” : “ Notwithstanding tho charges brought against the So tdon Government for misdeeds, the opinion is prevalent among tho majority ot settlors and working classes generally in tiieso Northern settlements that they have done more to settle peoplo on tho waste lands than any Tory or Liberal Government that lias existed since tho abolition of provinces.”— R re ning Post .

Editor Lukin deserves credit for allowing such solid truth into his paper.

It was with a slight sigh of regret for tho good old days of romance that I read the Cabinet had declined to grant the application for a remission of tho sentence of Robert Wallath, the Taranaki highwayman. r i'his shows what a very practical age we are in. A century ago, or less, tho highwayman was a popular hero, especially in Merrio Old England.

Known as “gentlemen of the road,” many were reckless young men of good families, and if their enterprise was at all reprehended by their respectable relatives, it was rather from a sense of its rashness than a realisation of its wickedness.

But not alone have highwaymen been popular heroes, but they rose to tho dignity of having a literature of their own, and left us some of tho stones that are imperishable. AVhat volume ever attained the popularity and affectionate admiration of “ Rubin Hood and His Mercy Men All ?”

Their bold robberies, hair-breadth escapes, orgies and amours are celebrated in song and story. In Merrie Old England there seemed to bo an instinctive recognition of the dashing malefactor as an embodiment of the national spirit displayed in British pluck, dash and daring. But perhaps the Taranaki highwayman was not up to the standard of his prototype, but was a poor, common-place sort of a vulgar imitator. If so, lie does not deserve to be pardoned, but rather should got double punishment for bringing discredit on Robin Hood and Littlejohn, Galloping Dick, and all the other heroes of our ardent and rebellious youth.

There is no boy, possessing the proper amount of animal spirits and a fair share of the hot blood of enterprise, who would not bleed in all his sensibilities at any degradation brought on the ancient and honourable as well as romantic and fascinating profession of the highwayman, by some base and vulgar pretender of Taranaki or elsewhere.

Anent the subject of Her Majesty’s sympathy, without .substantial aid, for the sufferers by the Brunner disaster, “ Quid Pro Qm> ” writes me to ask the question, " Dues Royalty ever give anything out of their privy purses to sull'oriiig humanity in ratio to their vast incomes wrung from the masses?” Honestly, 1 do not think they do. But the subject is too large and lieiivyforu tight and airy, although fat, contributor like my-elt to enter upon.

I may, however, mention that the valet of the late J’rince Henry of Battenberg has had his services recognised in tho form of a Royal medal. But Airs Brown, who gave her husband and eight

sons to carry the British Hag to glory, has not, as yet, had that 112 per year gratuity restored to her. But then the. world gets upside down at times, and things rarely come out just as we all would like to sec them. If they did, everybody would be happy, and the Fat Contributor’s occupation would be gone. You would not like that, would you, Mr Qubl Pro Qno'r

The publisher of the New Zealand Mail assures me that in many of the country districts the froc-paper fever rages almost as badly as in 'Wellington. Every reading-room and public institution of any kind expects one as a matter of course. Now, public libraries and other establishments that are supported from taxation have no more right to ask for a free paper than to ask Mr E. W. Mills, or any other merchant, to perpetually supply them with materials and goods.

If the institution is a charitable one solely, or is supported altogether by

j be made, and a liberal concession granted. One gentleman connected with a taxationsupported public library writes that it is the duty of a newspaper publisher to get all the readers he can for the benefit of the advertisers, and, therefore, should seek for places in which to deposit free papers.

lie would not have far to search to dispose of a very large edition. But—and this is the point—the man who will not pay a penny for a newspaper will never make the advertiser rich. Ten thousand such people would not be worth a sixpence in a year to advertisers. Besides, such a scheme as this would reduce a paper to the position of a mere advertising sheet, and advertising sheets are looked upon with suspicion and carry no weight.

And this general subject suggests a remark on tho false idea of advertising that exists all over. The value of advertising depends not on the number of readers, but tho class of people whom a newspaper reaches. A few hundred copies of a paper sold of au evening in a poor neighbourhood among people who are too poor in both intellect and pocket to buy a morning paper can bo of no possible use to advertisers. It is the paper that reaches the solid people that pays a business man to advertise in, and that paper is always tho morning paper, such as the New Zealand Times.

“ I hear,” says the London Troth, “ that there was some blundering in connection with the presentation to the Queen of the address in answer to tho Speech from the Throne, and the officials responsible for the same wore severely snubbed by Her Majesty.” Would you not have liked to witness the scene ? Poor old Salisbury !

I think the distinction should bo made and impressed on the popular mind that it is no part of the duty of Government to find employment for its citizens. It is, however, ono of tho privileges of an advanced Liberal Government such as wo now have to provide as much employment for those needing it as sound public policy and tho interests of all will permit.

This tho Government has been doing in tho best possible way by putting the peoplo upon the land. No better cure for the evil of poverty and want of employment was over conceived or put in practice by man. It is tho only permanent cure.

And bearing ou this vital question of want of employment and consequent poverty, hero are some statistics that should be taken into calculation in any honest consideration of tho question : With tho present improved machinery seven people can produce bread for 1000 people, counting the labour from tilling tho soil to carting tho bread around to tho customers; one man can produce butter for 40 people ; ono man iron for 500 peoplo ; ono man manufacture boots for 1000 persons; one man produce material for clothing for 275 people.

And so ou through all the departments of human industry. Ono man with a reaper and binder and three horses can do tho work of thirty hands in tho harvest field. Ten men with a threshing mill can do as much work in one day as 250 mon with tho old-fashioned flail. In tho matter of haulage on land, with our perfect railway system I four men can displace as much on a railway in one day as 300 men and 900 horses and carts; and so through tho whole of our industrial system machinery has taken the place of men.

Of course wo have to tako from this tho men employed in making tho machinery, and also allow for the increased consumption on account of the cheaper prices which machinery makes possible.

But machinery lias come to stay, and if it helps to force people on tho land to work for themselves, rather than hanging around towns looking for a chance to work for others, it will have performed a most beneficial work.

The famous library of the late Professor Gneist, which contains one of the best collections in Europe of works oil national economy, lias been sold cn bloc to the University of Philadelphia.

Tho Glasgow Free Presbytery has solemnly come to the conclusion that the most fruitful cause of Sabbath desecration is the running of tram cus oil that day.

Yet Glasgow is notoriously not the most sober, moral, or cleanly oi ciLies. How some people do strain at a gnat and swallow a camel.

As a fact the running of tram-cars and t rains on Sunday would bo a most moral, sanitary and generally beneficial act, as it would provide the means for an innocent and healthful outing to pleasant suburbs and blood-vitalising fresh air.

Lot us have more of it in this bright new land, no matter what the grimy and sincrusted old cities of Europe may do.

A debate in tho Imperial Parliament recently on food adulteration brought out some startling facts. In analyses made during tho month of October last GO samples out of 11'* were found adulterated. Butter, lard and cheese coming from other European countries were found to be largely adulterated. I cannot sympathise with tho Londoner much when he has the remedy in his oivn hands. Let him buy our New Zealand products.

London lias produced the champion literary pilferer of the age. This individual ottered Mr Labouchere of T-uth a story purporting to be original, which

ISO2. But ho would bo a keen and brazen pilferer who would get the better of Labby.

Some strange and shady things are dono in tho name of religion, just as Madame Roland declared crimes were committed in the name of liberty. At Orsett, in Essexshire, it has just been brought to light that funds intended for the personal benefit of necessitous parishioners have long been applied to tho maintenance of tho service in the parish church. If this is not robbing Peter to pay Paul, I wonder what it is.

And now comes in the dead-beat. I read in the latest issues to hand of the English papers that “ bibulous Cockneys have been obtaining free drinks and small loans all over London by dressing up as 1 Jameson’s men.’ ” Says ono paper, “ Individuals so attired, and moro or less the worse of drink, have been on view in all directions during the last ten days.” They finally became such a nuisance that they had to Ire flung out of music halls and places of that kind. How degraded humanity can become.

“ The Romance of a Shop-walker ” is the title of a new play. Tho adventures and ingenious schemes of a shop-lifter would,l think, make a far moro exciting drama.

A writer who signs himself “ Übiquitar” wants me to go in with him in a grand scheme to reform the world and make tho human race poor, pious and happy. Positively I must decline. At tho ago of seventeen. I firmly believed I ivould have helped to emancipate tho whole human race before I was twenty-five. To begin I volunteered to help free Cuba, and came near getting shot by tho miserable hirelings of despotic old Spain. But I have given up tho emancipating and reforming business long ago. Simply they can’l be done, and I have no time to waste.

Mr A. 11. Logan, a nice young man personally, complains in tho dim columns of our twilight contemporary that tho New Zealand Times does not publish his letters. Mr Logan should know that tho columns of the Times aro too valuable to be taken up with long letters of interest to two individuals only—himself and Sir Robert Stout.

But even at that, wore Mr Logan original, and therefore interesting, a point might bo stretched. But, unfortunately, he is not. Tho ono expression to bo found in all hia letters, and which is the only ono that means anything, is a bold, bald plagiarism from a speecli of Abraham Lincoln, tho martyr President of tho United States.

Ou a great occasion Lincoln defined liberty as a government of tho peoplo, by tho peoplo, for tho peoplo, and tho expression endeared him to tho hearts of all mankind. Had ho said “ a government of Americans, by Americans, for Americans,” as Mr Logan talks of a “government of Now' Zealanders, by Now' Zealanders, for Now Zealanders,” the narrow national distinction would have been his public and political extinction.

But Lincoln was too great a man for such conteniptiblo circumscription of human rights. Plagiarism may be justified when the adapted idea or expression is improved upon and made to servo a higher and better purposo; but when used to servo a meaner purposo it is a case of “stealing thelivory of Heaven to serve the devil in.” Be original, Mr Logan, and w'o will look with more compassion on tho narrowness of intellect and illiberality of spirit embodied in the conception of tho New Zealand Natives’ Association.

And, by tho way, Mr Logan, would not what you want to do be exactly what the Boers are doing in South Africa ? You would make every man not born of Now Zealand’s volcanic soil an Outlander. It won’t work.

London has a new' woman who is possessed of a holy horror of black. She is bombarding newspaper proprietors with epistles imploring them net to print with black ink ; batters not to make black hats ; paint manufacturers not to make black paint, and ironmongers not to turn out black iron. She wants the world all sweetness and light. So do we all, but

lieigho !

AVo have a good many peoplo in Wellington to whom precedent is very sacred, progress is sin, and change high treason. It would be much better for these peoplo if they allowed themselves to be shaken up now and again as the world goes spinning down the ringing groove of change, as the late Mr Tennyson puts it in his best ballad, “ Locksloy Hall.”

If everybody took it that “wliat is is right,” then we would have an end to all progress ; mankind would como to a standstill, and then begin to deteriorate. Change, change, perpetual change is the great law of nature. It is taught us by the seasons, yea, by tho day and night, by the movements of the planets, tho ebb and flow of the tides, the change of flowers with which tho meadows and rvoodlands decorate themselves, and in the green of spring and the sear of autumn.

But enough. All that remains is to ask if our Wellington worshippers of precedent are to defy tho universal law of nature and remain stuck in the mud of tho Port Nicholson days? Will the City Council please answer ?

Strange how humanity is influenced and swayed by fashions. The popular method of committing suicide now is to drink Carbolic acid. Statistics show that in London city the suicides from this cause

But all considered the Irishman’s idea of suicide is tho best. “Do you think it was a case of suicide ?” asked the coroner. “ An’ what is suicide ?” said Pat. On being told, lie deliberated a while and remarked, “Faith, an’ I would rather commit suicide on any other man than myself.”

It is surprising what an amount of original savagery there is in man when wo get down to tho bed-rock of his constitution. In reading of tho Ashanti campaign, I learn that it was a bitter disappointment to the soldiers that there was no lighting.

At first tho hope of fighting kept them from feeling the effect of the climate ; but the sick list became very heavy when the depressing certainty of a bloodless victory was faced. Tho old tiger thirst for blood still rages in us at times, and it is this craving, with the ambition of monarch and politicians, that keeps up savage war. Were this blood-thirstiness purged out of mankind, kings and politicians would not find men to slaughter caeli other like savage beasts, and war would end. Will mankind over bo really civilised ? I often think seriously on this, and always give it lip in despair.

If tho pictures of Dr Jameson, published in tho English papers, bo good portraits, Dr Jim has what is commonly called a fool-face—that is, the face of a man ready for any foolishness, including foolhardiness. His present position is the natural consequence of having such a face.

Even a wet day has its uses, and performs a part in the great economy of universal industry. It helps tho umbrella and mackintosh-makers, as well as the growth of young ducks. Does this thought not console you ?

Mr A. 11. Logan, acting-secretary of tho Now Zealand Natives’ Association, writes in rather an aggrieved tone. 1 assure Mr Logan I consider him a nice young man, but—mistaken and wasting Iris time at a game not worth tho candle.

In his letter, which will bo found in another column, he practically admits all I have said about tho N.Z.N.A. With charming simplicity, ho states that Bir Robert Stout was present at the preparation of tho advertisement calling the meeting to organise a branch in Wellington. This is honest, and I admire Mr Logan for it.

Tho other point I made and maintain is also admitted by Mr Logan, namely, that tho Association is to be a political one, for ho says : “ It behoves them (the native-born) to now tako a leading baud in preventing any further unnecessary burdens being placed ou themselves and their children, and also to work together in favour of all legislation,” Ac., Ac.

So tho wicked Outlander in New Zealand, bent on robbing and wrecking (ho oountry, must have his career cut short. But there is just one question to be asked, and I ask it in all seriousness. Havo tho Maoris not a prior right, and should they not organiso against tho pale-faced children of tho pakeha ?

Before our friends, tho women, hold another Convention, it would, I think, bo well for them to send a delegation of enquiry and information to (lie province of Smolensk in Russia, which is a little Stato practically governed by women. Perhaps some of our female leaders and embryo stateswomcn may turn up their pretty noses at the suggestion of going to Russia to learn anything. But the true student will take no notice of language or race, sky or soil, form of government or geographical location. Ho or she will learn wherever anything is found worth learning.

Smolensk is a province which contains some 40 square miles, and is known as tho Kingdom of Women; the fair sex practically do all the ruling. Tho male inhabitants emigrate at a certain time each year to seek work in other parts of tho Empire, leaving the affairs of local government to their better halves. The matronly or maidenly Mayors preside at the Communal assemblies, where women discuss questions of public interest. Their domestic experience renders the women great on financial management, and so tho financial condition of the State is said to be excellent. Of course the women will thank mo for this information.

Doctors do display a little sense now and again. Dr Bladen 11. Talcott, superintendent of a lunatic asylum, gives it as his opinion that early rising conduces to insanity. Tho doctor is correct in his linking ot insanity with early rising, but I think he makes a mistake in taking early rising for the cause instead of the effect of insanity, for no man ever did rise early unless he was already insane. How could he, with the terrible fate of tho early worm before him ?