Funeral Reform.

New Zealand Mail, Issue 1013, 31 July 1891, Page 4

Funeral Reform.

It is no doubt a difficult task to break entirely away from the power of early associations, the influence of rooted superstitious, and the fear of Mrs Grundy. We pride ourselves in these colonies that we are free from many of the social conventialities which press rather heavily at times upon our less fortunate friends, in the motherland. But we are yet under certain restraints which in this enlightened age should be remedied. In England especially, the conducting of funerals and the custom of wearing mourning have been the subject of much reform. It was Earl Nelson and others who in petober 1878 established the first Church of England Funeral and Mourning Reform Association in Sheffield. Since that time branches of the association have been formed all over Great Britain. The object is to avoid all unnecessary expense and outward show in funerals and mourning. Mrs Gladstone in replying to an invitation to be present at the thirteenth annual meeting of the association held in Grosvenor House on June 2nd under the presidency of the Duke of Westminster wrote, 4 1 shall certainly be at the meeting. Mr Gladstone and myself greatly sympathise with the objects of the association.’ It is true we do not indulge here in such great expense as was the custom lately in England, when a hearse, with black ostrich plumes, a long string of mourning coaches, black silk hat streamers, and black kid gloves for everyone who attended, melancholy mutes at the doorstep, with black wands enveloped with yards of expensive crape, funeral cards and funeral cakes of a spongy nature, and a sit down feast of cold funereal meats, were considered necessary and essential if one had any social position at all. We all wish to pay due respect to the sacred dead, and we honour the memory of a valued citizen by attending his funeral. There are certain expenses connected with funerals that are unavoidable, but there are others self imposed, which should be the subject of some radical reform. Custom has decreed that a mourner must mope in melancholy suits of black, and Mrs Grundy imposes upon each widow the questionable necessity for wearing expensive and useless crape for a certain length of time. When a loved one is taken from us by the hand of death, our hearts are full sore and our heads are bowed with grief. Those near and dear deeply sympathise with us ; but the rest of the world are not concerned one jot. We have sorrow, we are told to wear black to let all the world know of our trouble ; and the world cares not. We sorrow alone, and have to pay big bills to our dressmakers and tailors, for what, for our own grief,—no—simply to please society, and society sneers at our pale faces, our tear-red eyes, and the imsuitability of black for our complexions. The wearing of black in memory of the dead is considered an outward and visible sign of grief. How frequently is it all outward and visible, and none inward and invisible. Grief that is real and grief that is earnest wants no outward show to 1 t all the world know. True grief desires silence and retirement, and withdraws from all publicity, yet society would have us emblazon before all the world, with our sombre solemn suits that our hearts are in deep trouble. We clothe ourselves in black garments, our widows wear unhealthy, expensive crape, not because our hearts are aching, but because society wants us to, and the drapery trade assists society by pushing funeral wares under our notice.

We are losing all individualism when we bow to the dictates of that monster —society. We are no longer free agents. We must spend money, whether we can afford it or no. We run into debtover our deaths, and many a draper has ‘ bad debts ’ on his books which he will never recover, through sudden funerals. A man and his wife have a large grow-ing-up family. A near relative dies, the mourning order for that large family amounts to a large sum. The family cannot afford it. They feel in real grief at the death which has occurred, yet perforce they go in black; they spend money badly wanted for other things, simply because society demands it, but society makes no recompense for the heedless expense. There is no tenet in religion or morality implying the use of black as mourning. It is simply a superstition of the dark ages handed down to us, when death was symbolised as dark, gloomy, black. By refusing to wear black as mourning we offend neither religion nor morality, we simply offend society and society is— a nothing—a myth. Dora.