QUIPS AND CRANKS.

New Zealand Mail, Issue 858, 10 August 1888, Page 7

QUIPS AND CRANKS.

Riches have wings, while poverty goes on foot.

Some of the best things in the world are never said.

Let us honour and respect the busy bee. Once full he makes straight for home.

Love laughs at locksmiths, because it holds the combination.

Politics make strange bedfellows, but they don’t get much sleep.

A Western man who married a widow said he did it cause be wanted to exterminate her weeds.

Strange as it may appear, well-caoked meat in a boarding house is very rare. My son, a good maxim for you to adopt is this : * Get your work done yesterday, so that you may rest to-day. We don’t see the propriety of wearing a solid gold stud in. a merely plaited shirt bosom.

It is said that there is a carpenter in Milwaukee so expert with his lathe that he can turn a deaf ear on the slightest provocation.— Life.

A Malianoy man placed dynamite under the lady’s house and standing with a match ready in his hand said: ‘Be mine.’ Their two hearts now beat as one.

A Missouri widow, it is gravely asserted, has brought a libel suit against an editor for publishing in an obituary that the deceased had gone to a happier home. A fair applicant for a teacher’s position in Clinton county, Mich., said the days are longer in summer than in winter because heat expands and cold contracts. It sounded serious.—Husband—l tell you, my dear, I don’t have any kind of success in business. I’m afraid I have a Nemesis. Wife—Well, why don’t you seo a doctor about it ? —Tid Bits.

Wife— ‘ Is that a fact that burglars broke into your tank last night?’ Husband-—' Yes, my dear.’ * Did they get anything ? ’ ‘Not until this morning. Then, the Judge gave them three years.’ Certain of Success.—Patient (to young Sawbonesj who is about to cut off his arm)—Do you think the operation will be successful, doctor ? Young Sawbones—Of course it will. I will have that arm off in less than ten minutes.