Round THE Corners

New Zealand Mail, Issue 752, 30 July 1886, Page 17

Round THE Corners

Well, Sir Julius, I must protest, in the name of the whole Press of New Zealand, Australasia, and other parts of the world, against your uncalled for aspersions upou our standing. You are particularly standoffish if .we come within “ cooyeeof you, and yet you can throw “penny dreadful” stones at us in the presence of a full Parliamentary sitting. “ Penny dreadfuls ” indeed ! What d’ye mean, Sir ? Do you know you are tackling nearly the whole of the Press of the Colony. Why we are all pennyworths, excepting two twopenny horrors you know the ones I mean—and they are seriously thinking of joining the majority, for what between dreadful legislation, and being up to our eyes in debt, the Colony can’t afford anything above a penny in the way of daily “rags.” Why didn’t you tack “rags” on to “ dreadful ” and then we should have known what you meant? “Penny dreadful rags ” would have been unmistakable. But as the case stands it may- be you were in deep sympathy with us in the midst of our unparalelled dreadful misfortunes and liberality in a declining country that even your genius cannot help ; or you may go on the other tack altogether, and mean that we are dreadful exhibitions of penny economising in a country that deserves so much better, or that our records of Ministerial doings aie dreadful pennyworths in even such a small, country as this ; you know you called it a small country the other day. Come, Sir Julius, explain; take an early opportunity of enlightening Parliament as to the exact, meaning of the term “ penny dreadfuls.”

Aye! Mr Buckland, M.H.R., ’tis so. We want people more than loans, and some of us—you among them, evidently—are fast coming to the conclusion that it would be better to give the land away to permanent settlers than tolerate the present ruinous unoccupation. ’Tis true the Colony is languishing for steady intelligent settlement and ’tis also true, that there is writing on the wall, to those who can read it, which says that, unless increased resistance is proportionate to increased pressure there must be a crush. And there are limits to the power of 600,000 people to sustain a debt burden, and their' ability to sustain much more than what they have on their shoulders is becoming unpleasantly questionable. Mere than other questions of politics does that of encouraging immigration demand serious attention. Not the emigration that fills towns with brokendown mechanics, but the emigration that would make desert places blossom like a rose. The settlement of the country has become a crying, a pressing, need. We want to double our population directly, if not sooner, and ’tis the statesman —have we one?—who will make the population grow now that will earn the undying gratitude of the Colony, and an elevated niche in its annals.

There are hideous excrescences in the growth of civilization, and such places as that one in Auckland described as “ a den,” are among them. Why, according to the report the vile hole was much on a par with some of the Chinese dens in Sydney and Melbourne. An assemblage of debased, brutish men and unsexed girls, with certain horrible concomitants in the way of drink and filth and degradation of the worst kind. And the evidence is said to have disclosed a horrid social condition of a certain section of Auckland society. Something like our own Quin-street, here, I suppose, only a trifle worse. Well, and how is the evil to be dealt with; how eradicate the social ulcer? Heroic, spasmodic efforts are of no avail. If it were possible to, by a mighty effort expurge such blots from every city in the Colony to-day, by to-morrow night fresh ones would begin to develop. For they are in the blood of the people ; are a disease inherent to the body politic, as it is at present constituted, and will only be removed as the regeneration of the masses is accomplished. And that regeneration is mainly dependent on three issues general sobriety and general education, and the promotion of the proper housing of the poorer classes. Improve the people from drinking habits and their homes will improve with equal pace ; educate them and they will rate morality and industry at their highest values ; shield them, by wise legislation, from unjust extortioners —they are legion now—and they will approach the perfection of condition. Much is prated about the liberalism of the age, but, bless us, we scarcely understand the meaning of the term; we are only on ; the confines of liberalism. When true liberalism is really in the ascendent, we shall have heard the last of Auckland dens.

To Sir William Jervois has fallen the credit of instituting a proper system of gubenatorial practice in this Colony of many centres. It is but right and fair that he should share his favors among the principal centres; three of them have had their turns and to spare, and now Dunedin is to have hers. lam very glad of it, and hope Sir William and Lady Jervois will enjoy themselves “up South.” ’Tis a fine country, and the climate is quite good enough for anything. And not to reside at a fixed centre is the.proper way to govern New Zealand by the Queen’s representative. We of Wellington are always sorry to lose our kind friends of Government House, and gladly welcome them back, and the day of their removal from the Colony will be a black letter one indeed. Wonder why the Imperial parties cannot let a Governor alone when he has made j himself thoroughly at home ?

That boy Humphreys with his skeleton keys is a remarkable instance of criminal development. Extraordinary precocity in a youngster of such tender years (under twelve) to provide the means of rifling post office boxes and to rifle them deliberately. Now who is to blame for that boy’s development ? Was he neglected by

his parents? In which case they are respon - sible for allowing him to drift into evil courser; or, is it another case of hereditary tendency,' in. which case his progenitors are still to blame } or did nature make a little mistake in the ab« normal evolution of faculties. Clearly there is a mistake somewhere, and the boy is the innocent victim of it.. Tracing such effects to their causes will be the work of true, highly-de-veloped liberalism, and, what is more, "unfailing remedies will be provided for such diseases. '

The cry of the unemployed is rather more serious this time. There seems to be real distress that must be relieved. And such social throes will continue intermittently until the people have graduated in true thrift and selfcontrol. When they have learned to bridle their appetites, to eat and drink only to live, and to make the best use of their time, the cry of the unemployed will be no longer heard in the land, for there will always be a reserve fund available in rainy weather.

Here’s a line of news worth reading. We need not prate about unearned increment; on 1 this side the- Line after it:— • :s.s Land in some quarters of New York city.has had a. marvellous rise. Property on the north-west corner of Liberty and Nassau-streets was bought six years ago for SO.OOOdols, 60,000d01s being left on bona and mortgage. A year ago the owner refused 475,000d01s for it. Four years ago French’s old hotel was leased -for ;iß,ooodols ai year, including furniture. It now commands lOOOdols a week without the furniture, a

I give the yarn for what it is worth ; it is :a ghoulish -one- relating to churchyard robbing. It is said that a certain dinner table in this good city of Wellington used to be decorated daily with flowers that had grown in the gardens of the cemetery. It is scarcely credible, but as purloining flowers from grave enclosures is still a practice, one must be prepared to listen to anything in connection with it.

“ Volleys of cheers !” aye, Sir Robert, and you had earned them, for it was a grand oration enunciating principles that are as the very life blood of the Colony. Within eighteen months, Sir Robert, you have risen, by the force of your own characteristic buoyancy, from the level of a politician to that 'of •statesmanship. Excepting one or two railway points, you exactly propounded the Colony’s needs in your speech, and the lines you laid down are certainly those we ought to follow. It is very * shortly summed up in the sentence, “ taper off in borrowing and promote the settlement of waste land to the uttermost".’* More people and less heriosm in legislation You have, Sir Robert, very accurately gauged the Colony’s position and condition, and- r j*ou urge us to face the inevitable—the somethirig we cannot get away from. I think your colleague, the Treasurer, observed that a desire for economising had not been generally expressed. He spoke out of the fullness of his heart, and the wish was father to the thought in his case. But well I know that if the question were placed plainly before the people, if they were made to clearly understand the issues, and then their vote was taken—the votes of men and woman—that the Treasurer would be found to be all wrong. That there is depression we are quite agreed, and we all of us can honestly congratulate each other that Robert Stout is at the head of affairs. The Major was correct in dubbing him the best man we had for the position. Let us hope that the time is drawing near when a little bit of wholesome coalition will be effected in the way of Ministry forming in this Colony. The experiment has been tried with very happy results elsewhere. The results I venture to predict, would be much happier here even.

I am indebted to my contemporary in the Australasian for the following racy par :

The competition of hankers for business is proverbial. In town it is just now a question of who will give the most for deposits. In the country, success depends upon an obliging disposition seeking to achieve popularity. A country journalist declares that at what he calls “ a hostelry ” he saw a bank manager helping to light the parlour fire, whilst the accountant was serving in the bar !

The latest sweet thing in Parliamentary recreation is leap frog in the lobbies during dreary debates. It is said that members so disported themselves the other morning, and, after such an exhibition, the introduction of marbles, peg-tops, saddle my nag, &e., &c., may be confidentially anticipated. “Saddle my nag ” would be a very appropriate and convenient game in the long lobbies.' One can fancy the chairman of committees as “ post ” and a long string of his party as nags with ’tother side doing the vaulting. ’Tis an ex« hilirating game, and my stars 1 how the ex-citement-would culminate when the member for Waimate, let us say, as last man. sat astride of the- .leapers- under him, waved his arm and slightly altering the refrain, yelled “one, two, three, four, five, six,-seven, eight, nine, ten, no division yet, Hurrah"! Amen.” Yes, legislation in New Zealand is becoming a playful pastime. ’Tis time representation were confined to narrower limits* ’Twill have to be directly when borrowing next door to ceases.

Anether illustration of the truth of Dr. Johnson’s forcible proposition, respecting the way paved with good intentions, has been afforded by the recent performance of the Garrison Amateur Dramatic Club on behalf of hospitals and charitable aid. .We must, I suppose, assume the intention was good, but the result was to land the Hospital Committee in a devil of a mess, and a devil of a mess must be something appertaining to Hell. Instead of receiving substantial aid. the poor committee had to stump up £9 or £lO to make good the deficiency of the performance. Now if the Garrison Amateurs were really the “ tall soldiers ” they are supposed to be they should have “ ponied ” up themselves and said nothing further about the affair, and not have allowed their names to be dragged through the mire of obloquy. People will talk, you know, and the public won’t support it seems. ’Twill be well for public institutions, to whom aid is offered by amateurs in future, to make a strict contract beforehand guarding themselves from responsibility of any kind. “If it pays we shall be happy to receive, but if not, well, really, the loss must be yours.” That will be about the way to fix it. AtMOLEOS.