Round the Corners.

New Zealand Mail, Issue 562, 11 November 1882, Page 13

Round the Corners.

Our brethren in New South Wales are rejoicing with, exceeding joy in the receipt of a magnificient ioootae—a revenue of over seven millions !!! a surplus of nearly two millions ] 1 The lncky dogs, ■ But where in -' the dickens does it comh from ,? Is it really all simple interest, or are- our cousins tiading on their capital ? How much of the seven millions odd I wonder came out of land sales! And they; Won’t/want another loan, they Bay; at least, not this year. I should think not, indeed, with a two million surplus, and I should also think it would he only fair to New South Wales generations, yet unborn, if the colony’s stock in its land—was made to substantially Obntrihute to either sinking existing debts, or ;to:'do the work of loans, yiz, the con-struction-of public works: It seems to me that New South Wales 1 3' becoming recklessly spendthrift, and is threatened ’by reaction that will give it a rare shaking.

The postal authorities are going a ’’roundabout way to work, I must say. It quite reminds one of the old days, when letters were sent by all kinds of routes, from one part of the oolony to another via Sydney and Melbourne amongst others. It seems that history in this particu ar line is now repeating itself, for I observed no later than last week in one of the postal notices that letters for Napier, Gisborne, anc r Auckland would be. sent via Sydney by the steamer so and so. And again, on : Monday last the following sapient notice appeared in the Tihes coming, of course, from the Postal Department “ For Australian Colonies via, Sydney and China, per steamer Wakatipu.” Australian, colonies, via Sydney and China ? Isn’t Sydney Australia, and must we go to Ctiisa to reach it ? Had the notifier made it “ Houg Kong ” instead of “ China ” I could have understood that some junior fellow was botheringhim at thetime, and, in a rage, he told himtogdto HoDg Kong, and then inadvertently associated the place with China and inserted the name in his notice. And by direct steamer tjo ! Seems to me, however, that the Post Office has lost its paragraph writer, and is very much on a par with the Yaukefe merchantman, which had lost its only “ splicer ”/overboard, and hailed the next “ Britisher ” she fell in with, to know if she could supply her with one. “Reckon, Cap, my chief mate and splicer is gone. Kin ye supply One ?” Advertise, Mr Post Office, advertise, and we’ll soon supply you with someone to correctly indite your postal notices.

Writing in reply to , an “ Agnostic ” materialist thus, inter alfa, Bays “ Scio ” in that smart little paper the Dunedin Echo “ Some say we are oar ancestors, and our children’s children will be us. But according to geology and astronomy, a time will come in the distant future when the earth, as the moon, will be dead —defunct. What then 1 Everything non est ! Think sf it. The earth has worked ceaselessly millions of years. What for ? Nothing ! Perfected men and women from gelatinous matter all to be annihilated at last! What is gained by this travail of the ages ? Wby not have stopped with the huge saurians of the primeval slime, or the mastodon and mammoth of pre-hißtoric times ? Organic evolution, moral and spiritual evolution, all a.complete failure! Nature a gigantio sham ! And such claim to be Evolutionists ! Yes, they evolve the earth and all its beautiful Work into chaos. No, no ; we, with the earth are evolviog daily, although imperceptibly into higher etherealised forms of matter, higher possibilities, and when the earth, like our old bodies, is worked out, all will stand upon improved planes of thought and action. As each factor in the animal series prophecies future forms, so man prophecies forms beyond. Whether wedie drawing our first breath, or after a century, has no influence on the final growth and attainments of the human spirit which embodies every law of progress.”

And so the yacht was expected to “ win hands down,” (vide local last Monday’s Timeb). “Hands down,” eh, what does the man meaD, Is it all hands down below and the ringtail. on the forecastle deck ; or hands down in the lee scuppers catching crabs ; or handß down and heads over the side casting up accounts; or handß down on deck, and knees too, scrubbing hammocks ; or the winning with hands down below, trimming her, and “ the boatswain winding his larboard watch ;” or bands, down i

in despair because the yacht had got into the wind with her mainsail paying her off and her balloon jib absolutely scandalised ; or hands down and the rudder rove through the etirbo«rd hawse pipe with the mainmast sheepshanked and a big mouse on the topsail tie. Some one or tbe other of these it must be, or el e the horsey man of the Times has been trying his hand at aquatic locals. He is very much on a par with the aquatic man who, ts-iay-ing a horsey report, vowed the winner came in with a “ wet sail ” which means, if it means anything, that the jock had been taking it out of him, just as yachtsmen wet sails to m«ke them draw well. Neither “ hands down ” in the one case, nor “ a wet sail ” in the other, will answer though.

Says Moses to Aaron, “ What think you of the ago ? Says Aaron to Moses, “It puts me in a rage." For every year that passes fresh extravagance discloses. The world is going to the dogs, “The deuce it is,”, says Moses. Says Aaron toMoses, “ TheJMormozd have bcenhere, And tried hard to get converts to their morals very queer; ■ . They quote from you, old fellow, now what do you suppose U The quickest way to shut them up ? “ Why, duok them both, says Moses." Says Aaron toMoses, “ They almost had a smash, Upon ihe line the other day, through being very rash, And though they try to hush it up, what every body knows is, That some one is to blame for it.” Right, you are says Moses. Says Aaron toMoses, “ There are law-suits in the air. And breach of promise cases are by no means very rare, • And now to swell the number the very last who goes is An actor with his partner, “ What a comic suit," says Mo es. Says Aaron to Moses, " Our volunteers have gone To try and win fresh laurels the tented field upon, Would you not be a soldier when your uniform discloses Your many form and figure so? By Pharoah, no,' says Moses. Says Aaron to Moses, “There are sorrows in the shop. The gentlemen ail say they work until they almost drop, While every pretty maiden swears her cheeks have lost their roses, Now don’t you sympathise with them ! “ Of course I do," says Moses.

Tbe Basin Reserve has been converted into a really pretty place—a place of recreation for the people. It is a public trust, governed by trustees, and will, it is to be hoped, be liberally and equitably administered. The construction, in one corner of the reserve, of a lawn tennis ground is the embodiment of a capital idea. Hitherto lawn tennis has, through the lack of opportunity to poorer people, been confined to the better-off folks. We bear of lawn' tennis parties, but always in connection with £ s d ; and the trustees of the Basin Reserve deserve the very highest credit for having, so to spealc, popularised the game. Now Sally Smith and her compeers may venture to purchase bats and balls and take their turn at the Basin Reserve ground. Of course, the use of the ground will go by turn, first come—-or say, first on the list of applicants—first served. I need hardly protest against any exclusiveness in tbe matter, as the Basin Reserve is a publio park to all intents and purposes, and therefore open to all. And the Ijwu tennis idea might be profitably extended by the construction of another “ court ” in one of the other corners of tbe reserve. Many people fail to detect any reason in tbe proposition that cricket should be permitted to exclude every other game. .

I don’t know where it happened. I should not like to fix the onus of the detestable affair upen any colony, it would be too damning altogether, and, therefore, it will suffice to particularise the contemptibleoccurrence as having eventuated somewhere between the longitudinal meridians,. 100 and 180 ; and para lels of latitude, 20 and 50. A state of society prevailed there ; there was an upper crust and an under crust, with intermediate lamince, and amongst these social layers lived certain persons one above the other. One, I may say, reposed upon quite a top layer, and was swathed in aromatic and fash onable wrap-em-ups ; tbe other, a good soul, honest and unsophisticated, occupied an equally comfortable and odorous position jnst a little lower down. She had viewed her sister above her with some admiration and thought she would like to make her acquaintance, and thereupon was guilty of the frightful solecism of making, first advances. She had the audacity to leave her card at the residence of her highly gifted and perfumed sister. And how did the latter respond ? Did Bhe call upon her sister and tell her how pleased she was to make the acquaintance of a whole sealed honest woman ? Not a bit of it. But, on the contrary, she was'guilty of the atrocity of returning the visiting card with the following memo attached to it, “ We do not require any night work done at present, thank you.”

To use his own expressive language, Elder Farr, the young expounder of the doctrines of Mormonism, “ aint a-goiu ’ to address any more public meetin’a in Wellington.” The people ol this city won’t treat a “ Saint ” of bis calibre with proper respect, aud after submitting to what he regards as a mild martyrdom at Spiller’s Hall and the Athenaeum, he finde that the wily gentiles who took him in hand have simply been using him as a means of putting money in their purses. He says that he would not have taken the money in any case, and that the rules of the Church of the Latter Day Saints wou’d not allow him to touch a cent of the filthy lucre. It would be interesting to know exactly how these saints manage to exist. They are sent away from Utah without purse or scrip, yet the saintly Farr since he reached this colony with his harp t Jer his arm, has not I believe, been known to do any work beyond perstia ling a few weakminded men and women to find their way to U ah upon the same liberal tern s on which ha left that delightful home of sensuality and humbug. Has the Elder really any lawful visible means of support?

A certain industriously inclined individual in this city has my sympathy. He is a Good Tamplar and a brewer of hop beer ; a liquor which if one * makes believe” very umoh.asr.bechildren say, is not very unlike “ a pot o’ the smallest ale. Bottled and corked and labelled, it finds its way into many households were strung tipple is tabooed, and the vendor’s trade seemed likely to expand. But lo ! an argus eyed Customs man recently dropped on a bottle of the mixture and, of course, smelt it, shook it up, looked at it keenly through his eye glaß®, tasted it, spat out a mouthful, tasted it again, and gravely pronounced it beer, Tbeq came tb^

Good Templar’s trouble. He was officially informed that he was brewing a.fermeutoi aud saccharine liquor, and was called upon to pay the Customs tribute. It is not the impost that vexes him so much as the tho ight that he, a very pillar of temperanc ’, has beem manufacturing and vendiqg an excisable article, whereat his conscience muchly pricketh him. What shall lie do ? Give up his trade, and dq- _ prive Good Templars of a mildly seductive beverage* or throw conscientious scruples to :• the wind, pay ecot and lot, aud submit to circumstances. ; •

The Great Preacher aforetime condemned those that “ love to pray standing in the synagogues, and in the corners of streets, that they may be seen of men.’’ Would he, if now on earth, approve of a gaudy and garish display recently seen in a place of worship not afar bff, where men, claiming to be of sensible, well balanced minds, tricked themselves out in lodgeroom fripperies, and occupied a prominent place during the period of customary service I trow not. It may have had no significant intent, it may have been a mere passing vanity, it certainly was a disregard of the principle of always keeping the right thing in the right place.

A few weeks ago we published a cable mes- - sage, which stated that the Waly of Maimana had rebelled against the Afghan ruler, and applied to the Rosuans for help, and that the Governor of Afghan Turkestan had sent to Cabul for reinforcements. The following ex- ' tract from the “St. James’ Gazette” for Sep. tember 4 throws some light upon this movement :—“According to news sent from Mtshed a fortnight since, linssiau * fficers are residing at Merv, and the inhabitants are. believed to be entirely under Russian control. There is nothing at all unexpected in this, though it is startling enough if we compare the announce- . ment with all the placid and vigorous assurances Ministers gave when the Russians were Still pushing their way towards the coveted oasis. Nor is there anything to wonder at in - the further intelligence that the Bus-' sians, . .with the permission of the Persian Government, are about to construct- a railway to Meshed. Whether' the line be a prolongation of the railway ' which already runs from the Caspian to the head of the Tekke country, or an extension of the Caucasus system through Northern Persia, does not much matter. Sooner or later the Russians will complete their communications r to Herat, to which Meshed is the threshold. Of tho power of Abdur Rahatn to resist their , progress an interesting illustration is given in this present budget of Meshed news. Mai-' mana is a tract of Afghan Turkestan, which, if the Ameer’s rule extended (as it ought) to to the Ox us, would be under his rule. Lately he sent a delegate to try to get his authority recognised ; but the people have refused to receive, him, and have protested that no.. garrison will be . admitted from Cabal. The Khan of Maimana, ia fact, will look to the Power which is accepted at Merv for help if Abdur Rahmau pushes his claim .to sovereignty. We are not snre that Abdur Rihman is not looking there himself. An Indian paper, which generally has authentic news from Cabul, announced some time ago that Russian ageots were installed there.” Thß Dunediu “ Morning Herald ” expresses opinion on the result of the recent Mormon meetiug iu this city. It designates the proceedings at the “ public ball, which got crammed with men, some of them of good social position, evidently bent: upon fan and interruption,” as an affair which may be passed “as ooe of those ebullitions of rottdyism to which all public men are exposed from time time,” and condemns the objections raised by a contemporary ns to these Mormon “elders” being tolerated. The “ Herald ’’ commentsin this fashion :—“This person does not see wby these Mormons should be to! rated. .Likely not—• his vision is not very extensive. But tuppose, more Scoto, we ask, why should he himself be tolerateJ ? He is not more exemplary than his neighbors, nor even than these Mormon publicans. But he has an absolute right to speak as he dees speak, in virtue of those laws in favor of the * honest liberty of fr»e speech,’ which in England were struggled for through centuries against tbe encroachments cf the Crown aud even of the Judicial B<ucb, and which are cot now to be taken from us by a few newspapers pandering to an ignorant intolerance. But these Mormons are preaching against morality. What is morality {—the old question, what is truth ? We can see goodness in many a worthy chnrchman ; we can see it equally in the man of * honest - doubt,’ who has long since drifted away from all the Churches. . . Our contention is not for this or that opinion—we are not avvooato del Diavolo —but for equal freedom for all opinions alike. It is dangerous in such matters to have any respect of persons. It doubtless presses hard upon frail human nature to extend protection to people like these Mormons, who apparently have neither gift nor grace to recommend them ; but if we are to judge one another after this fashion, and make liberty of speeoh dependent on the popularity or unpopularity of the opinions Bpoken, we have entered upon a path which leads by a near cut to suppression and gagging. . . . Let us reason, argue, contend for what we believe to be the truth ; the man is not worth his salt who shirks his duty in this respect ; but let that liberty of speech, which we claim for ourselves, be extended ungrudgingly to others. Thus and thus only shall forbearance and knowledge * grow from more to more.’ ” Elder Farr and his coadjutor should, with all speed, hie away to Dunedin. There, at least, they will find one staunch advocate.

“ A STITCH IN’time saves nine,” is the lan£Uige of the old proverb, in the very simplicity ot which lies more judgment and wisdom than is superficially seen. If it were necessary to test its truth and applicability, let those who feel the coming symptoms of indigestion, dyspepsia, exhausted vitality, nervous debility ' loss of appetite, and their kindred ailments, have recourse to Udolpho Wolfe's Schiedam Aromatic Scanapps, and their suffeiings will soon be mitigated, if the affections themselves are not eradicated.—[Advt.] 7