Round the Corners.

New Zealand Mail, Issue 422, 13 March 1880, Page 15

Round the Corners.

In these days of free thought, spiritualism, and all other " cognate isms," to promote the fervor of religious feeling and belief would, I should have thought, been a matter of extreme concern with " pastors" of congregations. My friends of the Nonconformist persuasion are, I think, more alive to the necessity of action in this direction than those who are . enrolled under the banner of Episcopalianism. Worship in many of the churches of the latter is becoming very formal—notably in the singing. What, I should like to know, is more conducive to fervor than prayer and praise, the latter especially in psalmody ? and yet prayer and praise is too frequently relegated to the few, the many being mere listeners through sheer weariness of spirit—not even that at times. A good choir, led by a good organist, are admirable in their way, but when they monopolise the greater part of the service it becomes a little wearying to the really devoutly inclined. More congregational singing and less of choir execution is what is wanted, and as for prayer, that which is said is preferable to that which is sung, because all can take part in it. The fact is that choirs have arrived at such a degree of excellence as to be quite out of reach of ordinary congregations. The importation of a little more simplicity, O pastors, would be found advantageous, and as for anthems in which individual sopranos, contraltos, tenors, and bassos are conspicuous, I, in my humble way, think they are out of place in churches, and should be banished to the domain of sacred concerts. Bishop Redwood said something to the purpose on. this subject last Sunday. The backs of the poor publicans are again up, and this time to oppose the retailing of "drinks" on board vessels in port. The practice had been confined to the passenger steamer, and I, for one, as a sufferer, must say that I think it much more honored in the observance than the breach, and don't sympathise with the publicans even a little bit. The publicans have, however, succeeded this time, and, as a consequence, friendly greetings, both valedictory and other, are sadly on the decline. Formerly the pier used to be crowded when one of the Union Company's fine steamers was taking her departure, and the throng on board was really astonishing. In those halcyon days I was always impressed with the apparent depth and earnestness of the friendship displayed for the departing ones. No one who had the slightest claim to an acquaintance was permitted to leave without demonstrative farewell, a thirsty process, for there were constant adjournments to the saloon, and the stewards were kept busy. This is all changed now, for since the interdict was placed upon dochandhorris, the fallingoff in the attendance at the pier on steamer days has been remai-kable. Now, to me this is both disgusting and humiliating. I have lost I don't know how many nobblere, and also faith in human nature. Once I fondly believed friendship abounded, but am at last constrained to acknowledge

I labored under a delusion, and that the Union Company's "red funnel" brand had a heap more to do with the attendance of "friends" than unselfish personal esteem It is a humiliating confession to make, but I myself am amongst the hypocrites ; I don't visit the steamers nearly so often as I used. Dry hand-shaking is too unattractive. I don't think, however, that the publicans have gained much by their little game. If folks are prohibited from drinking on board they seldom adopt the alternative of adjourning to the nearest whisky mfll. W&. bewildered visitor has lately been pouring hi 3 trouble into my sympathetic ear. He complains that the streets of the Empire City have been so named, as to perplex rather than assist a new arrival in finding his way about. Most of the streets bear more names than one. For instance, Ingestre-street resolves itself into Vivian-street, Manners-street loses itself in Courtenay-place, the latter street merges into Majoribanks-street, Willis-street is at one end Nairn-street, and at the other Custom House-quay, while Dixon-street and Taranakiplace are the same thoroughfare. Wellington - terrace becomes Woolcombe - street, Mulgrave-street and Murphy-street are continuations of each other, and the Lambton-quay pedestrian passes unconsciously into Thorndon-quay, without knowing where the former ends and the latter besrins. Other streets could be enumerated in which the same want of system is noticeable, but I think the instances given are sufficient to show the why and the wherefore of my friend's bewilderment. Is not the subject worthy the attention of our City Fathers ?

A well-known medical writer has said " the best way to be healthy is to wear out plenty of shoe leather, and boots are cheaper than physic." Had the worthy medico referred to ever visited Wellington he would, I think, have been constrained to alter the latter portion of the quoted passage, that is, if his perambulations led him over the footpaths that have been so liberally coated with small metal, a material that rivals broken bottles in sharpness. One of my idiosyncrasies is a desire to ascertain what possible motive municipal bodies can have for many of the outrages upon common sense that they perpetrate, and in a city in a neighboring colony in which I once resided I thought I had made a good guess at the reason which actuated the Municipal Council of that town in strewing small metal upon the footpaths—the Mayor was a tanner and a leather merchant ! Here, however, no such motive is discoverable, for while we have in our Council representatives of the leading professions and trades, we connot boast of either a leather dealer or a disciple of St. Crispin. The Council's reason, therefore, for torturing the tender-footed as they now do, must remain one of those hidden mysteries which time alone can unravel. And so the " Happy Land" burlesque having permanently passed into the literature and history of the Berry regime in Victoria, is now to do duty, for lack of better novelty, on New Zealand boards. There is no accounting for tastes ; local politics are at a discount, but a localised rechauffe of the latest Victorian dish may tickle the palates of our colonials. At all events, if it —" Happy Land," shorn of an aspirate does not draw crowds to the Academy, the management may still find profit in imitating Mr. Garnet Walch's clever bit of business strategy. Mr. Berry proscribed the production of "Happy Land" on the Melbourne boards, but the author chartered a steamer under sealed orders to take the actors and a chosen auditory to a point to be disclosed after the departure of the vessel. On the trip music was discoursed, and there was junketing, toasting, and speech-making in serio-comic fashion. On arriving at a secluded watering place, audience, actors, and theatre properties were landed, a marquee erected, village folks came flocking to see the show, and Her Majesty's servants enacted " Happy Land" in defiance o? interdict.

Why did not the Irish Relief Committee in Wellington city enlist the services of the ladies as house to house visitants. The philanthropic citizens who undertook the duty certainly did not let the grass grow under their feet. In sooth they could not have got through their task more expeditiously had they wagered hats apiece on the result. And the result was disappointing. Lady collectors hunting, as is their wont, in couples, would have gone persistently to work, laid systematic siege to each domicile, and wheedled or shamed the most crusty and close-fisted householder into giving. A soft voice is a pleasant thing in woman, and persuasive when the possessor has made up her mind to use it for a set purpose. Lady collectors would have been content to reckon their achievements in pounds sterling rather than in the number of doors knocked at and the miles walked in a given number of hours. "Wanted, a young person who understands Wheeler and Wilson's sewing machine, and competent to fit, or go out to work by the day. Music lessons in return. Address, Dressmaker, Chronicle Office." Such an adadvertisement as this must, I am sure, have been seized upon with avidity by the numerous young persons to whom a light and airy diet is rather a consideration than otherwise. A man, or woman either, may be moved, as Shakespeare hath it, by " concord of sweet sounds," but whatever may be the properties of music besides, I nor any other secondary person, including the great Bard himself, ever heard that it satisfied the inward " person" in a material sense. And yet the liberal possessor of a piano must have had this in mind when she penned the advertisement. Did she imagine that a lesson in music contained clothing and feeding properties ? A young person to work all day—for a young lady of course—in return for a music lesson ! Admirable idea, if it could only be carried out ; and what a saving to many a shabby genteel family. For my own part, however, I should imagine that working a sewing machine on an empty stomach all day would tend to make a body sufficiently crochetty and full of quavers, without an after resort to the piano.

The art of converting an article of a certain description into something which, while it contains similar elements is yet apparently different, is one that finds various application. For instance, steam is applied t® surplus fat stock for the purpose of extracting the tallow. And, by the way, your local columns recently contained a reference to this particular branch of the art which appears to have attracted the notice of a certain country paper published not a hundred miles from Marton. Water in suspension (I am, of course, alluding to steam) was again plied upon the subject, it was boiled down into another product, and then, served upon the breakfast table as original. This branch of the subject is being carefully studied in the country districts, and if the outcome of the experiments is not always very palatable, it has the merit of being cheap. HUENBEBG. The merry drains run dancing Down Nurnberg's olden street; Pale moonbeams brightly glancing On streams by no means sweet. Round berg, and tower, and spire Such hideous stinks arise, The nose holds stenches dire, While beauty fills the eyes. 'Tis strange and O the pity? How poison and romance, Here in the quaint old city, Mix in a witches' dance. Art smiles, while typhoid rages, And memory still retains Blurred image in her page* Of Diirer, and the drains. World. For Nurnberg read Wellinberg, And then this little ditty Depicts the faults, in camera, Of our dirty Empire City. A number of persons in this city who about a year ago paid away their money to " travelling agents," who promised to adve3'tise them and their businesses in a Sydney Exhibition sheet, would like to know the whereabouts of these said agents now. Should this be brought about a little law would doubtless follow. Since they parted with their good sugar they have heard nothing further of these advertising sheets, or of their advertisements. The two men in question " went through" the whole of New Zealand about the time referred to, and succeeded in gul'ing the people out of a considerable sum of money. It is said that one of them after living on the fat of the land for some time, settled down to very questionable occupations not a thousand miles from Wellington. If he's a wise man he'll make himself scarce before an enraged public get hold of him. An interview with a magistrate might be the result. I think it was Coleridge who, in writing o£ the bad odors prevalent in Cologne, said I counted two and seventy stenches, All well defined, and several stinks. This in a city famed for the manufactureof sweet scents, must, I take it, be a pretty good illustration of extremes meeting.. In Wellington th-: well-defined and several nature of the stinks has long been Doticeable, but the number far exceeds that mentioned by the poet as haiing been experienced by him in Cologne, while at the same time we have no eau de cologne manufactories here to counter-balance the evil. Our smells are as palpable as the Egyptian darkness; in fact, Snobbins says they can be cutwith a hatchet ! By far and away the most impenetrable of the stiuks to which Wellington streets are subject, is that left in the rear of a heavy rumbling iron vehicle, which perambulates the city generally about thewitching time of night, and which leaves in its train a dense and nauseating effluvium,, spreading like the tail of a comet, widest at its greatest distance from its source. Whatever mysterious purpose this nocturnal rumbler is devoted to, or whatever its contents may be, I think the Inspector of Nuisances should insist upon it being so closed as not to permit the escape of its noxious vaporß. The ordinary smells of the town are quite sufficient to keep up a reasonable supply of contagious diseases without the assistance of this wholesale stink distributor.

Printers are said to be responsible for many sins of omission and commission, and to the tolerably long list that has been entered on the wrong side of the ledger in their account, they have lately added another. There was an anniversary tea meeting the other night in connection with a church, the pastor of which has been particularly careful to inculcate the principles of total abstinence. I was among those who attended, and having carefully placed myself outside of a reasonable quantity of children's aliment and mild stimulants common to such occasions, I took a silent part in the public meeting which followed. Glancing over a hymn of triumph which was just then given out, I noticed the line " Sing how He keeps me dry by day," expressing, with others, thanks for mercies shown, I felt puzzled.. I looked around me, and saw about a dozen faces on which bewilderment appeared to be the ruling expression. Carried away by the prevailing spirit, I hastily considered whether the line was not, perhaps, meant for those only who had succeeded in abstaining from liquoring up during daylight, and tried to remember whether I was entitled to join in the thanksgiving. Dropping this idea, I endeavored to reconcile the line with the fact that many gallons of tea had just been disposed of by those present, and failing in this,, was on the point of considering whether the absence of moisture could refer to the outer parts of our anatomy, when a leading voice in the choir gave me to understand that the printer bad dipped his hand into the wrong compartment of his case, and put in the letter rin place of the first of the alphabet. It was a cruel mistake however, and the punishment of that printer, whoever he was, should fee " drought for a whole week." ASMODEUS.