MOTHER AND CHILD

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXIX, Issue 21296, 24 September 1932, Page 6 (Supplement)

MOTHER AND CHILD

IMPORTANT PROBLEMS ENCOURAGEMENT AND PRAISE One of the most important problems which a mother faces is how much encouragement and praise she shall give her child, writes an authority. And right at the beginning it must be admitted that this depends largely on the child. Some children need it, others do not, and the mother must make this decision for herself. But there are some principles by which she may be guided. A certain amount of praise and a considerable amount of encouragement is good for every child. Most mothers give this naturally, but there are some, and most of us know of them, who adopt a strange attitude of indifference to their children's enthusiasms. Perhaps they are too tired, perhaps too worried, to bother about all the things for which children demand praise or encouragement. These mothers, beyond looking after the welfare oi their child, are inclined to leave them severely alone. Sometimes this attitude of indifference is adopted toward one child only. It happens fairly often that while a first child may receive all the praise and encouragement that it needs, when the second child conies along the first is neglected. The second is encouraged in every possible way, and the unfortunate first child is often reproved and restrained in the hundreds of little ways where before it had met with encouragement. Sometimes this attitude of never praising a child persists until the child grows to school years. At every school there is some child who receives little praise at home for the work he does at school, and little encouragement to work harder. Or sometimes the parents set so high a standard for the child that though he works hard he continually falls short of the standard, and never receives the praise and encouragement that is due to him. Admittedly these parents are exceptions, but all the same they are among us.

The parents who over-praise their children are far greater in number. Whatever a child does is praised and applauded, and the attention of other members of the family or of visitors is drawn toward his latest trick or mannerism or saying. His quaint sayings are repeated before him; he is made to do again some trick which pleased the mother; the rest of the family and their friends are soon saddened by this showing off of the child, but the mother alone remains blind. The child likes it well enough, and grows so accustomed to praise that lie cannot do without it, but must be continually calling his mother's attention to something he has done, or asking her to watch him* do this or that, knowing that further praise or encouragement is in store for him. Now for a very shy and nervous child this is no bad thin;;, but most children are normal little persons, very human in their love of praise, and very quick to be spoiled, and they need more careful handling, indeed more subtle handling, than this undiluted

praise. Between these two extremes, of the parents who do not give their children sufficient praise and encouragement, and those who give them too much, there are all the hundreds of wise parents who adopt a happy medium. They are quick to respond to a child's enthusiasms, and to encourage him, but they encourage him by taking a genuine interest in his doings, and not by merely heaping on him words of praise that da more harm than good.