THE REFUGE OF CANDOUR.

New Zealand Herald, Volume LV, Issue 13967, 28 September 1918, Page 1 (Supplement)

THE REFUGE OF CANDOUR.

-» BREAKINGSILENCEABOUTSEX

I lit MATANGA. I

The other day, on the western front, a ! significant thing happened) to two big I guns.. One was hidden, save to the most j penetrating eyes, with a superb.ingenuity ! of camouflage. The other, not far away, j was openly exposed. An airman passed by, pierced the mask of concealment of the I first gun, and noted the other in the i open. He did his obvious duty, bomb- | ing the weapon so artfully concealed, dis- j daining to waste his precious freight on the dummy gun patently intended to draw his fire. He was deceived after all, for events proved the secreted gun to bo the dummy and the other, unconcealed, to be the real weapon.

The plan that outwitted him was the perfection of subterfuge, the consummate art that concealed art. But its originator's success depended upon the habit of mind, not by any means limited to airmen, that is predisposed to find things other than they seem.

An astute observer of human nature wins a wager by standing on London Bridge and offering to sell a good gold sovereign for a shilling to a passing public so suspicious that he finds no purchaser. "Have a cigar, Moses," says one son of Abraham to another. "Vat the matter vith it, Ikey, is the reward of his effort at generosity. Things have come to a parlous pass when even sovereigns and cigars are suspect. But what would you? We have become such inveterate dissemblers that such a pitch cf'faithlessness is inevitable.

War, of course, demands ruse and wile. But war is primitive and by its very nature includes artifice calculated to mislead. Wo hope to grow out of it. But we trust that religion and home and business—especially business, perhaps— be allowed to grow old along with us. And have we hot lost candour in their spheres too? The Loss of Candour. Is there a sphere of life where we have not allowed frankness to decay? Our architecture and our clothes are characterised by deliberate deceptions. The harmless principle of "the best side to London" has degenerated into planned hypocrisy, so that an imposing structure— which really imposes on nobody—may be Queen Anne in the front and Mary Ann at the back, and a garment may be dosigned for show rather than comfort. These are sins against the human spirit. They make for insincerity and humbug. But they are venial compared with others, for "dummy fronts on buildings or shirts really deceive nobody. Society's mingling is marked by conventional side-steps of utterance. Truth is rarely revealed. So in business. The seller of stock—mining or milking— tho best points of his wares. There may be others. That is tho other fellow's look-out. And the other fellow? He comports himself usually according to an ill-remembered Scripture: "It is naught, it is naught, saith the buyer; but when he is gone his way he winketh the other eye." This is surely evil. And no matter where this lack of candour is found, it works havoc in life. Elizabeth Barrett Browning said of rjpr husband that he thought aloud in her presence; but we have made that a wellnigh impossible achievement for most folk. The habit of hiding thought has enslaved us to our ruin. ■ Foolish Silence about Sex. There is nothing in which* this habit has been more pernicious than in what we call the sex question. We have, by our treating it as a thing to be banned from frank speech, turned the glory of sex to shame. We have made Dead Sea fruit of its apples of gold. Meant to minister to our greatest good, it has brought bitterness. Think of it. Sex is a fundamental fact of human life. We meet it in ourselves. It is a commonplace of every day. It/ greets us in nature about us. We simply i must think about it, if we think stall I And our children must come to think about it. They also will meet it in themselves, and note it in nature; and so they also must think about it. And we, for the most part, leave them to think about it unguided. We instruct them diligently about the things they should eat and drink, teach them to care for their health and strength, and strive to make them fit for life's demands in most things. But about sex? Sh-sh! That is not to be mentioned in polite company. The early questionings of onr young folk we often stifle. They learn to look upon this as the only thing about which they ! | are to be kept in ignorance. What re- | suits ? Their native inquisitiveness asserts j itself. Their avidity to know all about it l grows with the withholding of knowledge. ; Its investing with mystery arouses a 1 morbid curiosity. i Then, as new feelings stir within them, j they are usually left the choice between an unconfessed shame over what has been

treated as unfit for conversation, and a I daring to indulge this longing to know by ! sharing thrilling confidences with their | young companions. In either case, such i an experience in early adolescence is fraught with untold possibilities of harm. Safety in Candour. The only safeguard is the truth. NothI ing but the truth should ever be told our | children; in due lime they will be ready I for the whole truth. This theme must | j bo robbed of its specially sacrosanct treat- I j ment. That it lies so near the heart of | j life makes it sacred of course. It is ■ j sacred as religion ana patriotism and love [ j are sacred, and these we do not discourage j ias themes for youthful inquiry. Having J the testimony of generations to prove the : folly of silence, we ought to break that j i conventional silence. But who is to do it? The answer car- i ; ries us farther than the. church and the j ! school. It takes us into the home. The > i boy's natural mentor in such an experience j lis his father. The girl's natural confidant | ! in this is her mother. Since sex founds i ! the home, the home should care for sex. I I All that the church or'school can do is I j but a second-best. j i However, it will be acknowledged by ; ; most parents that they feel unqualified for this duty. This generation suffers for ! the sins of its predecessors in this parental ; conspiracy of silence, and unless some ' . radical change be wrought the harm will I ■ be perpetuated. , I There is but one feasible, safe way. It j i ! is to make widespread and thorough use j , of the better handling of the sex question i , . that modern science—medical and social— ; j has made possible. Expert help multiplies I lin these days. Parental ignorance is be- j coming less excusable. Why should (here ! not be adult schools for the teaching of I sex hygiene and especially for the instruc- i tion of parents in the most approved methods of imparting this information to their children? In this way safe counsel may displace dangerous silence. Candour, j the only refuge, may thus be gained. As a help towards this we must be | candid among ourselves about the need, I The war will certainly bring to our land | physical ills that ignorance of sex matters j will help to spread. Wise instruction will j be their best antidote. We shall need also to encourage the begetting and nurturing of a virile race, and for this end that instruction is indispensable to-day It were a foolish policy to leave it to luck. Where the evil results of past lack of candour are found, we should face them faithfully, refusing to burke inquiry or to blink facta. Our safety lies in speech, frank speech and kindly. With its help we may yet turn a menace into a ministry.