MATRIMONIAL PROPOSALS.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXX, Issue 9307, 16 September 1893, Page 4 (Supplement)

MATRIMONIAL PROPOSALS.

We are not sure that the manner of a proposal is of very much consequence so long as it is neither presumptuous nor condescending, nor founded upon irrelevant considerations, such as the opinions of the loved one's parents or friends or the depth of the applicant's purse. (A girl of spirit always resents such a method of wooing her.) The great point is, Does the lady expect and secretly desire the proposal, or does she not? A man must surely be something of a fool if lie cannot find an answer bo this question in the depths of his own consciousness before he makes an open avowal of his own sentiments. If the answer from within 13 favourable, and the would-be lover does not grossly deceive himself, it matters little whether his offer is made by letter or by word of mouth. The most stammering tongue will be sufficiently eloquent for the purpose. , Any mother who is particularly careful about her future son-in-law's personal disposition might do worse than insist upon her daughter's refusing in the first instance all proposals of marriage that might be made to her. For at no time does a man's inner self step forward and assert itself more plainly than after a refusal. If he is angry he may be set down as a vain creature—and few women are so vain as some men are—unless he has received very marked encouragement indeed ; and in that case a little natural indignation must be excused. But the indignation must speedily be swallowed up in regret or forgotten in the ardour of a second attack, or it will be evident that the wooer's love is too selfish to be of much account to anyone but himself. We do not mean to say, however, that the experiment is unattended with danger. lb is often very difficult for a suitor whose proposal has been rejected to know whether he ought or ought not to take no for an answer. In some cases it would be the height of folly in him to do so ; in others it would be the height of presumption to renew his suit. He musb be guided by the circumstances, by the history of his courtship, by the relations subsisting between the lady and himself, and by the manner of her reply. There are several ways of saying no, even when it is uttered with perfect sincerity. Bub we fancy that) mosb experts on the subject would agree that a second no (unless it is obviously equivalent to yes) should be taken as final. After the second rebuff a discomfited lover should retire, comforting himself, if he can, with the reflection that between the nature of the unwilling maiden and his own there must be some hidden discrepancy or want of harmony, which she recognises, though he does not, and which would likely prove fatal to anything like happiness in. the married state. When two young people—or middle« aged people, for that matter—really suit each other, a proposal is pretty sure to be followed by an acceptance. The young lady who likes and admires a young man of good disposition and sufficient means, but protests that she will always be his sister, as she can nob love him in any other way, is often met with in fiction, bub seldom anywhere else.—The Lady.

WHITE STOCKINGS AGAIN. ■ The fiat has gone forth in England calling the white stocking back into vogue. When it cornea to fashions in feminine ap* Sarel, England is particularly infelicitous, ur prettv, tasteful fashions all come from Paris. White stockings have never gouo out in Germany ; tabooed elsewhere, they have continued in favour with the average Teuton frau. And in England, the older ladies have continued to wear white cotton hosiery. It is well known that Mrs. Gladstone has never encased her nether limbs in any bub white cotton stockings. But the white stocking is a horror— an offence unmitigated, and nob to be palliated. The one article of feminine dress in which man's taste is properly deemed infallible is the hosiery, and in America mankind is a unit against the white stocking. - ' ' The fiat has again gone forth in London's best society that bare arms shall appear at dressy afternoon fetes as well aa in the evening.