LOCAL GOSSIP.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXVII, Issue 8162, 25 January 1890, Page 1 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP.

* Ut me have audience for a wort or M , n down the street the other day, I *£«£riho is accustomed to reflect. >»S7 S .11 this," said he, "about the Tbilea celebration? One would think we J ° fl Th most patriotic people under the ** that we loved New Zealand and were PU '.d i our country, while the fact » that C„»nwould sell off and clear out to--6 y v if he could. What have we to *°r e \' We ought rather to humble 2Si in sackcloth and ashes, to put our Son our mouths and our mouths in the 5 'for very shame. Wo have a fine d " »rv hfchly favoured by nature. We r.:Sded it with debt and murdered it ha h el t txe7taiiti hardly fit to live in. We hive "all attempted to do a most disI t swindle We have ende.Wv.dred to Ourselves rich and to leave to posterity pake o. irM f living. We have failed as II deserved to fail, in our thievish te.ck. « diwrvcd to fail, in oar thievwh tack. it not a farce that we, having been S V Of such a thing, should pretend to £ patriotic, and to celebrate a jubilee as Z occasion of prideaud rejoicing ! 1 could t. but acknowledge that there was £* truth in my friend's complainJL Patriotism, or the love of country l a verv "rand and ennobling feeling, but t meanVsomething very different from atopting to cheat posterity. We have deliberately .ml our affairs in the hands ot t', who had no interest in the country exSt that of trying to suck as much o Us S as thev could. No land that ever stood o ut of the deep blue sea was ever so fitted S arouse the loftiest patriotism Zealand, with its fertile plains and x alleys its -now-covered mountain ranges and £<*htv rivers. But instead of chenshing mre feelings, and seeking the best welfare g our lam!,'we have degraded our souls u-ith the worship of -Mammon. 1 wish that 1 could discern signs of improvement. On, thit some leader of the people would arise w at this moment create within us a zeal It better things: This would indeed be sonethini: done worthy of the Jubilee. Is all this to pass away in a regatta and a lew diving and swimming matches? I went the other night to see Mr. Warner t a •' Hamlet." and 1 was much pleased and ln,p-e«ed with the performance. There Has a tine house, and it seemed to me that the audience were more than usually attentive and critical. They seemed watching the niceties of the performance as it proceeded. The reason of this was that most of the members of the l'arnell Shakespere Club were pre.-ent, and they infused their spirit through all those who were around them. The" fault I was inclined to find vita the performance was this : it was all too much brought to a level. Sbakespere ruts in the mouth of Hamlet many solemn passages, and many which are impassioned. To relieve these he has made him say many commonplace things. For instance, there is nil that talk to the players, all that about suiting the action to the word, and the irord°to the action. It is excellent, no doubt, in its way, as showing what constitute- eood actitur. But one can fancy that a Prince chatting about acting to a party of noor strolling players, who were about to perform before 'him, would do it in an easy fashion with his hands in his pockets, and in a by-the-by kind of way. But Mr. Warner did not read it in that fashion, but was as lofty and rhetorical when Hamlet was delivering mere everyday street talk as when he was lamenting over the woes of humanity, la that way 1 thought his impassioned declamation wanted relief and set-off. What do the members of the Parnell Sbakespere Club say to this ? Am I right, or am I vrong '! " I bow to their decision. Another question as respects the play itself I may submit to their judgment, the Eiore so as 1 do not think I have met with guv mention of it in any of the criticisms of "Hamlet" which I have read. Was the Q'aeen Gertrude a party to the murder of her husband? In one passage Hamlet makes, it is true, a distinct charge. When he kills Polouius, he says— A blo'-dv deed : almost a* bid, good mother, As kill <i king, and marry with Ids brother. Bat all through Hamlet speaks as if her offences were, to have forgotten soon her noble husband, and to have married with a base and degraded man. Has the point been solved ': I am disappointed with what I hear about tie preparations for the Jubilee illuminations. This might be made the most brilliant of all spectacles, but illuminations are generally bungled because nobody will take the work in haud and do it after a system. The illuminations become a kind of vulgar tlvertisins, and the same design is repeated time after time. There ought to bo no private illuminations, but the city ought to be illuminated after a consistent _ and suitable design. But I suppose there is no use saying anything now.

The tradesmen who keep their shops Dpea late at night have, like those of old, bejjun, with one consent, to make excuse to the promoters of the early closing movement. One " keeps his shop open of an evening to get a little fresh air." Like the boy who was caught with a pipe, this man " smokes for corns." The real remedy 'v. in the hands of the people themselves. They have only to refrain from late purchases, and even the shopkeeper with the ingenious apoloey will go abroad of an evening to get his fresh air. One of the apologists for late shopping puts forward an extraordinary plea for the abuse. He says that after its day's work is done he likes to walk out and see a well-lighted pavement and brilliant shops, no matter who may have to serve behind them. Truly " the road to Jordan is a hard road to travel." It seems the second-hand shops can't agree with early closing, as most of their business is done late at night. I should think so. Their customers generally oscillate between the " pub." and the pawnshop, and twenty-five minutes to one o'clock on Sunday morning would suit toem best, as it appears to do some grocers in one of our thoroughfares.

When some of the Rarotongans were at Mercer one of them, a lad, excited the ire of a sheep, and, coining behind him, the irritated animal lowered its head and, strikIn the Rarotongan square on the centre of gravity, sent him head over heels out of the hotel door. The Rarotongans are not over fond of sheep at any time, so the lad fcitaply observed, as he picked himself up, whatever might be said of the mutton, there was no mistake about the butter."

" is stated that at -a recent meeting of the New Plymouth Hospital Board it was ordered that the nurses should not be allowed'to receive male visitors after eight p-m. Judging from the terms of the notice, were must have been trouble. Eight o'clock IS a very reasonable hour at which to suspend courting operations. I can remember the time when the " mashers" of the North ignore Permanent Force, finding it utterly useless to steel their hearts against the wts of " the little god," used to frequent 'ark. Road of an evening, to see their best P"*i but they were never later than eight "Clock. Things have changed since then, «7 he would be a smart man who would get to wind'ard, so to speak, of the nursing toff now.

Last week, in referring to the police ,ce, I said that " promotion or disrating ™ dependent upon that mysterious influence which, like the wind, bloweth Were it listetb, and Constable X ~?oweth not whence it cometh or wnither it gceth." I find that in the Peranent Force there is no mystery about , * influence. When a man joins the wtteries about the first question which we "old hands" put to the neophyte is as In *k r^ lafcJon ship with persons of influence «» tne Government or the Civil Service. If "l in the negative they simply for » r should ers and say, " I'm sorry D . yoa ! " But the most frequent question ~. to a new arrival in the force is, " I say, "w man, who's your in ruber ?" That exPlains every.'jing.

The other night, at a late hour, a tradesiJin ij* 8 Walkin g home with a bag over his wouider. Tim Doolan thought he had gob mm- on ?onby burglar, and visions of proThe ♦ i" the "foorce" came before him. ! °e tradesman failing to answer the firsb

challenge to stop, as it was desired to overhaul his bag, was again summoned. The constable was somewhat startled with the reply given : "I have tramped this street for twenty years, and you ought to know me. There's too many of you ' blooming' Civil servants about. But Henry George will be here next month, and there'll be a revolution !" Tim as rather mollified at being regarded as "a Civil servant," and let the tradesman pass on, but if the man had used the phrases "bobby," " peeler," "crusher," "trap," &c, he would have been " run in" to a dead certainty. Truly "a word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver."

Human nature is very much the same under the wig and gown as under fustian. Judging from the proceedings of the Law Society, some of the " devil's own" wish to pay their foes at a more convenient season, but when Greek meets Greek, then comes the tug of war, and the " most excellent Theophilus " suggested an efficacious cmedy, which will act like a charm.

In Fouche's time, in France, it was said that three men could not meet together in the streets of Paris without ono being in the pay of the police. At present ono can hardly pace Queen-street of a night without knocking up against, "aplain clothes man." The other night two worthies met about eleven o'clock, and the one said to the other, "Ain't you going home. Jack." " Well," replied the other, "1 think I will. I've spent, the whole evening watching three plain-clothes men, and they have spent ij, watching me !" Mekuutio.