LOCAL GOSSIP.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XXV, Issue 9154, 8 September 1888, Page 1 (Supplement)

LOCAL GOSSIP.

"Let me have audience for a word or two." —Shukijtere. For several reasons the announcement made by cable that "our own Julius" was encaged in the composition of a novel did not excite any surprise. It is quite well known that Sir Julius greatly admired the career of Lord Beaconsfield, and burned to emulate his celebrity in different fields of action. Disraeli's novels, with their elaborate descriptions of life in the highest circles of the aristocracy, and their talk about diamonds, jewellery, gold and silver plate, were favourite reading for our late Colonial Treasurer. On one occasion, when an opponent was "pitching into" Sir Julius in the House of Representatives, it was noticed that he was comfortably ensconced in a corner of the Ministerial bench, deep in the perusal of " Lothair," which had just come out. I believe that it was also noticed that during the evening he fell asleep, neither the attacks of hi-= enemy nor the brilliance of "Lothair* sufficing to keep him awake. But it is undoubtedly the case that Sir Julius possesses the " Oriental imagination," and may be filled with an ambition to achieve a position in literature as well as in the statesmanship which consists in borrowing money. Probably to some extent he will take "Lothair" as his model. His chief experience of political life has been in NewZealand, and, of course, following the example set in " Lothair " and others of Disraeli's novels, ho will introduce real characters under thinly-disguised names. That must be very interesting for us. We shall be gratified with having put in something like dramatic form what Sir Julius thinks of Sir Edward Stafford, Mr. Justice Gillies, Mr. Reader Wood, and others of his old friends and opponents. We shall have detailed the whole origin and conception of the great public works scheme, and the innumerable blessings which it would have conferred on New Zealand but for being marred by envious dullards, who never could have conceived it themselves.

1 hope that there is no mistake about the report, and that it will not prove to have been an invention, prompted merely by the fact that those interested in Sir Julius could not otherwise imagine how he was spending his time. We hear little about the great "Atlas of the Pacific." on which Sir Julius was engaged, and the report that lie was connected with the Australasian Cable News Company is put in a very doubtful style. On the whole, I cannot think myself of any other way in which he can be employed. He must be doing something, and, on the whole, I don't know that he could be more innocently engaged than in writing a novel. It may, indeed, be merely a " pot-boiler," for some novelists have made large hits of late. But, after all, it would be something of a downcome for a man who, for a series of years has handled millions, to be reduced to writing a " shilling shocker."

I feel very considerable sympathy with several of the officials of the City Council, whose salaries have lately been reduced, and hope that the time may soon come when all these things may be considered calmly, and free from the pressure of necessity. Each one of the officers has, no doubt, his own special complaint. The Superintendent of the Fire Brigade, who has been "docked "like the rest, lias, however, a consideration all to himself. He must never, without special leave given, be beyofid cooee of the Central Fire Brigade Station ; he cannot make a run out of town on a Saturday afternoon ; he is liable to be called upon at all hours ; last, but perhaps not least, he can never go to church. Apparently he may attend the theatre, because I have seen him there several times. The theatre is a place peculiarly subject to fires and alarms from fires, and no doubt he goe3 there to see that all the necessary precautions are adopted, and that in case of alarm the audience can easily get outside the building. But his grievance about not being able to attend church is irremediable and severe, and I think it ought to have operated in preventing any reduction of his salary. '

Football is now the rage, and every memI ber of a team looks upon himself as entitled I to some social respect and attention because I of his devotion tcr the game. Clergymen | have become patrons of clubs, rooms have i been given at the Y.M.C.A. (so that young j men shall not be compelled to hold their I club meetings in hotels), and everything | has been done to make the associations of ; the game good and purifying. But com- | plaints reach me of very bad behaviour. I i am told that at the Y.M.C.A. Building the lads sometimes make such a noise that other meetings in the building cannot comfortably be carried on. The other day a gentleman was discoursing of the good effects of young men devoting themselves to athletics, and thus withdrawing them- ! selves from bad. associations. A clergy-

man who was present narrated an incident which had occurred to himself a few Saturdays ago. He was walking between Newmarket and Epsom, when he met a team of footballers. Without the slightest provocation on his part, they opened out a brisk lire of coarse abuse, with a considerable amount of filthy language. I don't know whether I can appeal to the members of the English football team as patterns of good behaviour. I have heard some doubts even about them, based on their behaviour oil board the Manapouri. But I hope they are examples to our colonial youths. At all events, to our own young men I say that if football clubs become gatherings of larrikins then they wis be mischievous. *

Larrikin boys of a younger age and lower social standing have again been tormenting that useful public officer, Mr. Garrard, who has been compelled to appeal to the Police Court. I hear that Mr. Canard is about to apply to the Government for the job of administering the cat to any youngster who may be sentenced to make the acquaintance of that animal, which, in such cases, is at all events necessary. As an old man-o'-war's man, he believes ho can so wield the instrument as to make it have the most salutary moral effect. He has a profound belief in its power to inculcate all virtues. For my part I should bo inclined to let him have a show, and if I were a magistrate I should take care that ho had subjects enough to operate upon.

A curious ecclesiastical trouble has arisen at Wanganui. A pillar of the Church there—a gentleman who had been thought worthy to have conferred upon him the position of representative at the Synod— accepted the otlice of choirmaster at a Roman Catholic church. He was therefore requested to resign his position as Synodsman. He refused to do so, alleging that his engagement with the Roman Catholic church was simply a matter of . business, and that his faith had not undergone the slightest change. The Standing Committee of the Diocesan Synod has declined to interfere, but will leave the choirmaster to his own conscience.

Many a tourist, with or without animated encumbrances, landing on our wave-lapped, sun-kissed (Ac.) shores, naturally hank«e after information as to how he is to put in his time; or, to put it more gracefully, how he is to "dream the happy hours away." The proprietor of he Bay of Plenty Times has, in a most commendable spirit, and with a lavish disregard of expense, brought out a supplement absolutely teeming- and bristling with attractive and suggestive lines and items, calling attention to the superlative merits and advantages of Tanrang* and its vicinity as a resort for travellers.

It is announced, in large type, as the " Paradise of small capitalists" and of " halfpay officers and superannuated officials." Then, amongst other fascinations and allurements after fishing, boating, shooting, &c., the supplement specifies four churches, one newspaper, Band of Hope, Good Templar lodge, public baths, and a Charitable Aid Board.' Was it within the prophetic ken of the gifted compiler of that wondrous supplement that some of the tourists might be " remittance-men," who possibly would, sooner or later, be requiring temporary sustenance from public charity?

The supplement is embellished with several lithographic sketches, which are fairly executed. The first, showing " Tatiranga from the Town Wharf," does not convey the impression of a thronged and crowded traffic on the wharf. There are only two figures star-ling on the structure, apparently the Mayor and Town Clerk in angry colloquy as to which of them should be spokesman on behalf of the borough in interviewing the distinguished foreigner just landing in the steam tender. His Worship appears to be vociferating "I am the Mayor, sir, and therefore the proper party to do it." The other, to all appearances, is remonstrating, "But you don't know nothin about French, old man ; let me on to him with the correct thing : ' Parley voo Anglaise, mounseer,' and ' Bon joor, mon ammy.' " Again we have sketches of the Pink and White Terraces as attractions, although it is thoughtfully mentioned below that they have been destroyed for some time—in fact, that there " aren't no deb places." Then, further, the anxious tourist's eager eye is drawn to the announcement of cabbages at 2d each, bacon 7d per lb, potatoes 4s per cwt, &c. Altogether, the supplement is quite a marvel in its way, and if it does not prove a boon and a treasure to tourists, it ought to.

Apropos of Tauranga, it seems that about a fortnight ago a Maori team of footballers came down from Rotorua to play a match. The Tauranga people vere naturally anxious to afford some evening's amusement, but there was nothing "on" that night except a Sunday-school soiree. Any port in a storm, so thither ..he two teams repaired, the Rotorua coloured contingent fully prepared and willing to do justice to any available viands within reach. lam told that the consternation which seized the fair donors of the trays when they saw the legerdemain way in which the edibles vanished, was a picture. Egyptian locusts or a prairie fire were nothing coinpared to the all-devouring capacities of the dark brethren from the Lake District. And while these swarthy guest? were saying " Kanui to pai! E hura ite hanga !" &c., the treasurer and secretary 'were away in a corner, looking sadly into each other's eyes aud lugubriously calculating the financial loss which the aboriginal appetite would involve to the committee.

Nearly all our self-sacrificing senators have returned from Wellington, to be gladdened by the gushing welcome of spouse and progeny (those who possess those luxuries), and afterwards to receive the congratulations of grateful, not to say proud, constituencies. On the morning of their return, I had the pleasure of meeting with most of them, and was not only pleased, but agreeably surprised, to Dote their appearance of exuberant physical health, and the prevalent expression of self-satisfaction and content which suffused their speaking physiognomies. Although pleased to find them thus, still I was rather surprised, because I had pictured to myself our members forming a procession up the wharf with a doleful and melancholy mien resting upon their classic brows ! Yes ! and with the genial member for Rodney leading the van, perhaps with a placard pinned on his breast, " We have done our best, fellow-electors. Do not blame us unheard. ' 'Tis not in mortals to command success,'" &c., &c.

But, of course, there was another fond illusion gone—the hand that grasped after that ideal, rudely knocked on the knuckles, and made to drop it. The sensitive elector, meandering down the wharf, prepared to condole with his representative in his sorrows and distress at the failure of his efforts on behalf of his bleeding fellowcountrymen, found himself confronted with quite a different kind of thing altogether. There was a. sort of " counterfeit presentiment" of sadness, painfully worked up, on the faces of some members, but it was entirely too thin. Their fresh, wellnourished, jovial aspect, and the jingling of the honorarium guineas in their breeches pockets, made their efforts to look regretful too transparent altogether.

However, it must be recorded in their favour that they had enough modesty and goo i taste not to parade the obnoxious rail-way-pass medals upon their watch-chains, on the first day of their return. That wot have been rather too obtrusive and defiant, so soon after the debate in the House as to retaining the vote for these useful and economical travelling appendages, because, from what I have heard, they do come in very useful on occasion, especially to members representing constituencies on the line of railway traffic. It is not necessary to go into details, but it is pretty well understood that the Railway Department's receipts in the matter of light freight on fruit, &c., have been lessened by the very liberal use made of the gold railway passes by members who found it a profitable thing to travel backwards and forwards on the magic medal. Stuffed carpet bags and plethoric pockets are now and then associated with the gold railway pass.

Earthquakes are not always unmixed evils. At least two good results have followed the recent Canterbury shocks—No. 1 : A donation of £100 from Sir Arthur Cordon (who cables to that effect, from Ceylon), towards repairing the Christcharc -

Cathedral tower, which is a noble and magnificent act, notwithstanding all that may have been said, or may now be said in his disfavour. No. 2 : A highly distinguished New Zealand mmnt has actually admitted that he cannot fix, within a mile or so, the precise spot at which the centre or disturbance is to be looked for. This is indeed a startling admission from so gifted a scientist as Professor Hutton (bear in mind, not Professor Hector), and the modesty of it almost takes one's breath away. The Professor winds up his letter re the earthquake in a sad, lamenting strain. He says he has so often urged the great importance of studying our earthquakes, that he despairs of the Government taking any steps to obtain an automatic, selfregistering seismograph from England, for £00. Why, what is a paltry sum like that compared to the enormous gain to science which would accrue from the Professor sitting astride this seismograph and counting the vibrations, while holding on spasmodically like a sailor on a bucking horse ? Couldn't the members make up a "hat" out of their honorariums to purchase this coveted earth-shock recorder Mehcutio.