ODDS AND LNHS.

New Zealand Herald, Volume XVIII, Issue 6261, 10 December 1881, Page 3

ODDS AND L NHS.

Good whistlers seldom whistJo in public. Eminent stations make givat men more grent and little ones hvs. Tlie brightest thoughts sosninhiies como from the dullest-looking num. "Struck !>y lightning' , is tlie e:mt term used by thieves when arrested Jhroiigh information conveyed by teli-iii-apli. " Mr. Smith, father would like to borrow your paper; he only v.anN to r.-ad it." " Well, <jo l);i'jl; and ;'.-.-!: your l'it:n;r to seucl me his supper. Tell him I only want to eat it." It isn't because a ivotnin is exa<:tlv afraid of a cow that she runs away nit.! screams. It is because gored druses are hot fashion able. An old Grecian philosopher a.'.vises all men to know themselves. Th;:''s a.[vising a good many to form very j'jw ;i;i.i disreputable acquaintances. It is said that kerosene will remove st. iae from furniture. It has a::<o bee . lUiowu to remove the furniture, stains .-i:i.i all, with the stove and a rj.l-ho-a.de i s jrvant girl thrown in, oftentimes. Here is something for tiie cleric il notebook, Lutliei says : —"I would noth.tvo preachers torment their hearers and ,letai<: chum with long and tedious sermons." "How time changes .'" eX'.-lai-'r-d a Yankee journalist; in the good Old IV Lament days it was considered a miraele f-.i.- .in ass to speak, and now nothing -short i>: a miracle will keep ono quiet." This is the latest Western farm of saying a man was handed : " Me was unanimously chosen by a convention of I- property holders to jump from a new pine platform into the sweet subsequently." The M-year-old daughter of Sitting Bull is called " She - Who - Glancts-at-You-as-She-Walks." This is better than Living a girl who glances at every icecream saloon between the theatres and tlie home of her proud sire, who keeps a dog. A bear in Colorado got !i,.1 ' of Joseph Brooks and sailed in to eat him, but began on one of his legs, and it happened to be wooden. Joe lay still and let i. ..• bear chew. He said it was the m-jst diluted looking bear he ever saw wheu " U:e sell" broke over his countenance. While preaching from tlie tex r.: -'He giveth His beloved sleep, "a Toledo minister stopped in the middle of his sermon, g./.d upon his sleeping auditors and .said, '■Brethren, it is hard to realize the wondrous, unbounded love the Lord appears to have for a good portion of this congregation '.'' Lord Lome, iu mentiouiag the mixture o£ races in Canada, says that when lie first expressed a wish to see a real, full-blooded Indian, he was rather astonished when the Canadian who at once undertook to gratify the wish summoned tiie required real specimen of the aboriginal race by shouting, "Come here, MacDoimld." A Pennsylvania stage-driver with a heavy load put his horses through so vigorously that one of them dropped dead as ho came to the end of the route. Somebody reproached him for crueitv, to which he replied, "My dear fellow, that hor.se died at Biownliuldton, nine mil-.-ssoul.il of this place, but I didn't let him tali iill I got to town." The Dnke of Nemoi'.r.s once s-jnc his steward to call upon an artist on wlu.:i> he wished to confer a snuff-box as a mar!; or' his approbation, to ascertain it such a. present would be acceptable. Tlie oiler was received with cuthusiasn!. " Where shall I s.ud it?' , iuriuircd the envoy. "Oh if you would be kind enough," replied the L,va:eful artist, to pawn it on the way, you ca:; iet me have :hc money." The watermelon, 0.-ico di--.v. led as an -.gent of cholera ami it.; continent ills, is low an article of diet and wi-Icoimu in every lousehold. The watermelon is ;:,.w said to je a cure for summer complaint. ;.'ven when t becomes chronic-, a wat-.Tm-.-losi taken two )r three times a day ha:: been I'.-iin-l to cure ifter all the usunl 'rem-diVs h.-;d m::uml. At ;ho close of Dr. Tanner's fast .: r = mc:U ,vao of watermelon. Some idea, as to the '"•μ-o- <i : - - - ' 1 -csilition vhieii prevails anions: :dl l-!.:--- ■■ -' r ' Frenehnen, may be "atheiv ! fwii tlu that here arc at the p:--::-:i-:t ti::r: :sjO • iinancial" journals ;.:i'i!i ; :i:-l "> !>-'nsvlost of these are tiu !>:-■; -■■'■ ,h " '.""-rent lanks and oilier spi.-.:-.:!al■>:>. mid a< t.:io price >f a yearly subscription ,-ari.-; !.- -iwoon live Vanes ami twenty-hV.- co-i! ; :"- 1! , i_c is easy to ufer that the great majority o; them arc >rought into existea.-e tor i.u- purpose ot 'bonneting" some eaterprno ;ujra or less ihadv. Strange as tln-tttonu-ut may appear, t is none the less true, that some at least of he journals are founded for tiio express puriose of enabling their owners to obtain jrptn he railway companies the free ire so freely given to tiie press m J-'iaßcer