IT IS TOWN TALK

Free Lance, Volume XVII, Issue 924, 28 March 1918, Page 22

IT IS TOWN TALK

That when the Turks occupied Baku they exclaimed "Oil's well!" —That the Bolsheviks deserve the German terms, but they seem rough on Russia. —That pink weddings are the latest society fad. A prelude to a rosy time presumably. —That the present scarcity of paper was primarily caused by the violation of a "scrap of paper." —That the question is: "Where will Japan strike?" And the answer is: "Not on the box." ■ —That bananas are 3d each in London. "Have a banana" is not a popular" invitation in the Old Country today, i —That the pressing invitations outside the Y.M.C.A. hutsi suggest that the initials stand for You Must Come Again. [' ■ —That it is very generally believed in Court circles that the engagement of "our prettiest Princess" to the son of a well-known peer will shortly be announced. '■'■ —That England's W.A.A.C.'s (Women's) Auxiliary Army Corps) are known to our boys in France as nice little brown things in very short skirts. They call them Waaks and naturally they are very popular. —That thirteen thousand German men and twenty thousand German women, and many more thousands of German children, live in London ?and stuff away all the food they can get. They are a very efficient help to the U-boats. That' they were in a Willis-street restaurant, and he, a "literary cuss," asked his fair companion: "Do you like Omar Khayyam?" "I've never tasted it," she replied. "But, any way, don't you think we ought to cut out all luxuries—in war-time ?"

—That drugs are so very expensive that chemists fear that the health of the community will improve. —That a! country paper declared last week that the war will end when the Kaiser is heaten. ' Bravo, prophet! —That the Otira Tunnel can stay uncompleted rather than give in to the strike-and-argue-afterwarda agitators. —That the moonlight does not encourage sentiment in England now, for it helps/ the raiding aeroplane from Hunland. —That the National Cabinet fondles the vain delusion that when it gets the talk shop going next month a few weeks will finish the work. —That General Sir Julian Byng is one of seven "Byng" boys. His wife is a novelist She should have no difficulty in finding heroes in her own family for her books. —That the tailor who had an apple as his trade mark explained, when asked the reason: "If it hadn't been for an apple where would the clothing business be to-day?" —That the number of recruits who "patronise" the Salvation Army in tfhe camps is a good testimonial to the hearty ajid liberal way they have in the Blood and Fire Brigade. m —That little Benny was looking at a picture of Elijah going, to heaven in a chariot of fire. Pointing to the halo about the prophet's head Benny exclaimed, "See, mamma, he's carrying an extra tyre!" —That one of our battalion commanders at the Front is a great believer in developing the initiative of his subordinates, and declares that "this is a war of platoon commanders." One platoon commander under him is a veteran of 21. ' —That £600,000 entrusted to a German Imperial Privy Councillor for payment of spies and other propagandists in America was lost by that gentleman m speculation in New York and Chicago. The Wall-street "bulls" and "bears" must have got hold of "the boob." —That the American nurses in France are.a great astonishment to our British variety, because of their capacity for talk. They go on and on for hours, and never repeat themselves, and are alway interesting. However, our nurses are learning another useful accomplishment—to be good listeners!

—That women are urged to give up cigarettes, but the appeal' will probably end in smoke. / —That if all the Jews go back to Palestine who will there be to lend us money when we are hard up ? —That the Public Works Minister firmly declined to let the Union boss the Otira Tunnel work. —That with armour guns complete, the cost of the male tank, as used on the Western Front, is £5000. —That as the American brewers: are conducting a brisk campaign of righteousness, the prohibs. are getting concerned about their own reputation. —That the Turkish Government is mobolising all men up to the age of 57. This really seems as if the Young Turk Party were rapidly losing strength. —That the bakers who rushed up the price of bread and now have to take off the extra profits ask why the butter people' haven't been •caught. —That a significant increase in the price of worms is reported from Blighty. Next we shall hear of a British Worm Controller being appointed. —That the Christehurch Y.M.C.A.. ladies threaten to steal or, otherwise capture the tall Wellington, citizen who SO' gallantly and per spiringly toiled on their behalf during a recent holiday he spent in the Cathedral City. The southern ladies, rumour hath it, are very fond of nice, long, curly beards. —That some thirty "Aussies" happened to be standing outside a wellknown Cuba-street hostelry the other evening when a certain Minister of the Crown hove in view. Somebody whispered to the "Aussies" the name of the Cabinet Minister and challenged one of them to go and invite him to "shout" for the crowd. Never backward (as the Germans know to their sorrow) the "Aussie" accepted the challenge and promptly waylaid the Minister, who, in turn, as readily accepted the invitation, and, joining the crowd, entered the pub and stood treat for the lot of them. But what about the anti-shout-ing; law ?

The red deer shooting season for 1915 in the Wellington Acclimitisation district opens to-morrow (Good Friday) and oloses on May 31st next. Full information is given in our advertising •columns- in this issue as to where sportsmen may ohtain licenses, etc.