It is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume XVI, Issue 868, 23 February 1917, Page 26

It is Town Talk

—That in the lists of New Zealand non-coms, the name ;of (Corporal Punishment seems to- have been omitted. —That although Germany is reported to have run short pf cotton long since she. still, manages " to- spin fine yarns.. •■.- . , —That men who accuse women of. having no originality forget that they have to think up twenty-one different V meals a week. , —That a sweet young lady who lately applied for a job vacated by an enlisted man, arid wanted the same wages, was told she would be, taken at face value. —That conscription is the key-note of trades unionism, and yet the trades . unionists of Australia voted it out when it was a question of fighting tor one's country. —That a "Brotherhood of Khaki" has been started in England by Lord and Lady Cheylesmore. It will include aU who fought under the British flag, and will'link all who have served in the warin a kind of Freemasonry. —That because it is now more economical for householders to buy .their bread over the counter poor old; father will have another responsibility to shoulder. "Now,- don't forget the bread!" will be the parting injunction, , as he sallies forth to his morning toil. —That the Maori "King," Te Rata Mahuta, has just been gazetted.a trustee, in place of Mahuta Tawhiao, .deceased (his father) of the Taupm Public Cemetery. Probably that is where ah Maori claims to sovereignty are terred.' The "King'-'- ? movement m New Zealand is long since dead and buried. '—That the Hiitt County Council is boasting that the road between Day s Bay and Lowry Bay which a tew months ago was considered the worst in the County has at present the _best surface. It's about time the Hutt -Council woke up and did something in return'for the rates it derives from the ■■■'Bays, .'.':.'; —That Burton Chadwick, British"Director of Munitions Oversea Transport, has started an agitation against afternoon tea in England. He says af ter~ ' noon tea is not a meal—it is —_ bad habit. "It is a habit in New Zealand that would takev a terrific amount of dynamic power to shift. All our generals would not be equal to the effort. —That they had. an Old Identities picnic at Port Chalmers on Saturday fast at which Mrs. M. Woolsey carried off the prize for being the oldest identity of all. She landed at Waikouavfci from the Magnet in 1840. Why can't we have an Old Identities' gathering in Wellington? Are Messrs. Kirkcaldie, Shannon, . Woodman, Willie Muir, Lockie, and Freeman listening? —That only five life members now remain in New Zealand's House pf Lords. These are the Hon. Captain Baillie of Marlborough (appointed in 1861), the Hon. Sir Henry Miller of Oamaru (1865), the Speaker. Hon. C. JV Johnston of Wellington (1891), the Hon. Sir Chas. Bowen, of Christchureh (1891), and the Hon. J. D. Ormond of -Hawke's Bay (1891). The Hon. Captain Baillie and the Hon. J. D. Ormond are also the last of the Provincial Superintendents. —That Labour members P. C. Webb, and J. McCombs - visited Hokitika the other day to deliver political speeches.. Whereupon the local paper rises up to remark that "Mr. Webb's coming here •at such a time as this" (when Hokitdka's member is , absent fighting for his country), "is in such bad taste that it reeks of impertinence." The conscription . ballot will . •'. probably be finding some other occupation for P. C. Webb one of these days. Then his tongue may get some rest.

■ —That the latest news from Mesopotamia shows that the British have, delivered blows at Kut and Xumagen. l —That blackberry gatherers are not receiving a very effusive, welcome just", now from the land-owners between.the Upper Hutt and Kaitoke. »■ ■ '■ —That Victoria College Council is considering the advisability of including the Dutch language among College subjects. What about 'the Maori language? ■ : '.-.'-. —That Mrs. Carr at the Plunket Society Conference has been "rustling" the Minister of Public Health with some vigour for throwing that brick labelled "lack of progress." —That Wellington applauds ite Harbour Board for. paying honour to the memories of naval heroes like Captain Fryatt and young Cornwell, who figured in the Jutland'fight. ',' , —That the Rate Collector \ at; this season of the year pursues the policy of frightfulness. His dreadful weapon is the Ten Per Cent, fine'if you overshoot the mark by only one little day. —That ; there is a tidy number of vacant seats in the cosy Upper House to be filled up soon all carrying cosy salaries. Who are the good boys expecting political rewards? Can you pick them?. —That several bookmakers in Wellington are reported to have lost- thousands of pounds since Christmas, yet the' Lance hasn't noticed any of the well-known punters driving their own .motor cars. —■That John Bull's edict that the output of British beer was to be reduced by 30 per cent, effects a saving of 286,000. tons of barley and 36,000 tons of sugar. He will have so much the more to eat, so much the less to drink. —That Labour Leader Arthur Rosser, of; Auckland, has "fallen out" with the Auckland Labour Representation Board. Arthur, who holds a seat on a Military Appeal Board, thanks them for "vindicating my character as a patriotic Britisher." : —That a southern paper last week ' sprang the great surprise war news upon its readers that the Germans op- • erating on the Eastern front had advanced "four millimetres." As 10 millimetres only amount to 0.3937 inch the extent of this microscopic advance can be appreciated. -HThat Mr. Donnelly (President of the Canterbury Law Society), who expressed the Bar's ' congratulations to Sir John Denniston last week upon his knighthood,' used as a newspaper reporter to report Lawyer Denniston's Police Court cases tor the Dunedin "Times" 40 years ago. —That a young Wellington doctor now encamped on the sandy wastes of Mesopotamia writes home that the country is "sandy" in more senses than. , one. There are one or \ two Scotch regiments in camp, and he never before so many "Sandies." Moreover they are always "dry." .-; —That there are * a good many Germans and other aliens still allowed to go on the even tenor of their way piling up dollars in New Zealand while all the eligible New Zealanders have to go to the front and fight for them. How much longer is this farce going to be played? British subjects get mighty short shrift in Germany. —That just now you can't throw a stone in, Wellington without hitting a pressman. The Fourth Estate . simply covers our real estate. _ The air reeks with printer's ink. It is only a passing visitation: the Printers' and Newspaper Men's Annual Conference is on. We hope they'll enjoy themselves and bear away a good impression of the Empire City.