Here and There.

Northland Age, Volume 3, Issue 21, 2 January 1907, Page 7

Here and There.

A delightful story is told by Miss Maude Adams, the American actress, of a coloured couple with whom she was formerly acquainted. Pete had become ensnared by the charms of Miss Johnson but being of a bashful turn of mind, he felt incapable of making a declaration of his passion, and was, therefore, constrained to do so through the medium of the telephone. Accordingfy he rang her up, and the following dialogue ensued: “ Is dat you, Miss Johnson ? ” “ Yaas. ” “Well, Miss Johnson, I’se got a mos’ important question to ask you.” “ Yaas.” “Will you mary me, Miss Johnson r ” “ Yaas. Who is it, please \ ” was Miss Johnson’s prompt reply. All Are Unitedfcm saying that for all Stomach Troubles there is no remedy like Dr. Sheldon’s Digestive Tabules. Price 2s. 6d. per tin. Obtainable at: J. Evans and Sons, Waipapakauri; E. V. Johnston, Kailau: J. Mckay, Fairburn; W. C. Bunkall, licitxmo; T. S. Houston, Ahipara.* The colonel of a certain regiment, who was very strict on his young officers, was continually inspecting their rooms to see if everything was tidy, and also to see if he could find fault with anything. One day he inspected the room of an officer who was noted for his wit. He had nearly finished his inspection when he noticed a cobweb in one of the corners, and’thought to himself:“ Now I have ggLhim.” “ What does this mean ? ” asked the qolonel. The young officer coolly replied : “We always keep one in case a man cuts his finger.” Interest Awakened everywhere in the marvellous cures of Cuts, Burns, and Wounds with Dr. She.ldon’s Magnetic Liniment. Price, Is. (id. and 3s. Obtainable at: J. Evans and Sons, Waipapakauri; T. Houston. Ahipara; R. V. Johnston, Kaitaia; W. O. Bunkall, Herekino; J. McKay, Fairburn. * j M At an exhibition of gas appliances a well-known firm of gas-meter manufacturers was showing a penny-in-the-slot meter, the front and sides of which consisted of plate glass to enable visitors to see the works. The agent was provided with a key to uiilopk the meter, and take out the pennies, which he then used over again. A deal* old lady who had been watching him for some time was heard to remark : “ Lor,’ that’s a cheap way of buying gas. A sbillingsworth of coppcrc Hid last a lifetime. I must have one of them fixed in my place.” The Supreme Court, the People, havo decided that Dr. Sheldon’s New Discovery wins against Coughs, Colds, and Consumption. Price. Is. Cd. and 3s. Obtainable at: J. Evans end Sons, Waipapakauri; R./‘V. Johnston, Kaitaia; J. Mckay, Fairburn; W. C. Bunkall, Herekino; T. S. Houston, Ahipara.* |<V

A teacher in one of the country schools had a class of young children in mathematics before her. The examples were in addition, and she propounded this question: “ Now, children, if I lay four eggs on the desk, and Sam,” pointing to a freckled-faced boy at the head of the class, “ should lay three, how many would there be!" ” The bad boy, who was at the foot of the class, had been listening intently, and shouted out, “Go on, Sam, take her up. She can’t do it.” Its a Terrible Fate to suffer from serious Lung Trouble. . Ward it off with Dr. Sheldon’s New Discovery. Trice Is. 6d. and 3s. Obtainable at: J. Evans and Sons, Waipapakauri; It. V. Johnston, Kaitaia; T. Houston, Ahipara; W. C. Bunkall, Herekino; J. McKay, Fail-burn. Two darkies lay sprawling in the sun one hot day. Moses drew a long sigh and said : “ Heey-a-h-h ! Ah wish Ah had a hund’ed w'atermellons.” Tom’s eyes lighted dimly. “Hum ya-h ! Dat would suttenly be fine. An ef yo’ had a hund’ed watermellons would yo’ gib me fifty ? ” “No. Ah wouldn’t gib yo no fifty water melons.” “Would yo’ gib me twenty-five ? ” “ No. Ah wouldn’t gib yo’ no twentyfive.” “ Seems ter me yous powaliful stiugey, Mose. Wouldn’t yo’—-wouldn’t w»’ gib me one ? ” “ No, Ah wouldn’t gib yo’ one. Look a hyah, nig gar, are yo’ so good-fer nuffin lazy dat yo’ cahn’t wish fo’ yo’ {own water mellons ?*” Perfect Digestion Means Perfect Health. A good stomach keeps every part of the body in perfect condition, and Disease cannot break in. Dr. Sheldon’s Digestive Tabules are a natural remedy for all disorders and weaknesses of the stomach. They possess exactly the same properties as tho gastric juices and other digestive fluids of the stomach. They actually do the digestive work of the stomach, and enable that organ to rest, recuperate, and become sound and' healthy. They act in a mild, natural manner, and cause no disturbance in the digestive organs. They prevent any fermentation of the food, wJiich causes sour stomach. Dr. Sheldon’s Digestive Tabules instil health into every part of tlie human body. They compel perfect digestion of the food and perfect assimilation of the food nutriment. Every itoan of .the body is kept in repair, and good healtn necessarily results. At the same time the stomach, bring relieved of its work, gets well and strong .Obtainable at: J Evans & Sons, Waipapakauri; R. Y. Johnston, Kaitaia; J. McKay, Fairbura; W. C. Bunkall. Herekino ; T. Houston, Ahipara.*