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Nelson Evening Mail, Volume LXI, 3 December 1927, Page 5

"I tell you 1 won't have this room," pictest'ed the old lady to the hotel page who was conducting her. "I ain't a-goin' to pay all that money for a pokey-hole with a little i'oldin' bed in it. If you think that just because I'm from the country " Profoundly disgusted, the boy cut her short: "Get in, mum. Get in.' This ain't your bedroom. This is the lift." "How well he fills the pulpit!" "Yes, I wish I could say it of the church." "They say that people with opposite, characteristics make the happiest marriages." "That's why I'm looking for a girl with money." A traveller staying for a. week-end in a village was telling the eldest inhabitant that he could not imagine how people managed to live in iuch a dull place. "Well, zur," said the native, "you should stay here till next week, and then vou'd see the whole countryside stirred up." "What is going to happen?" "Ploughing."