THINGS IN GENERAL

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XLVIII, Issue XLVIII, 7 March 1914, Page 6

THINGS IN GENERAL

During the course of an interview as to the desirability of co-operating with j Dr. Felix Koenig's expedition to the . South Pole. Sir Ernesr Shackleton ox- ; pressed the opinion that there was plenty of room in Antarctica for many expeditions. We have not yet received the following letter on the subjectj Dear Sir, —.uay I draw your attention to the way in which a cue-time ideal retreat has becom<? devastated by the lowdy manners and boorish crushing "f thoSe week-end tourists who have the impertinence to rail themselves explorers. I paid a return vis:t to Antarctica last -week, after an absence of several vears. and my heart almost wept to", see the wav it had been ruined by tin-; controlled 'crowding and unspeakable vandalism. In a spare of certainly 110 more than 2COO souare miles. I counted no fewer than three of these explorers, while just as ;lu- leafy gullies and grassy paddocks ct' our native country have! been defaced by the staring; legends of misguided reformers and übiquitous ad- [ vertisers. so have the splendid snow- | drifts and gloomy glaciers of Antarctica i been ruined by a polyglot collection of, v milestones, cairns, food depots, I wireless telegraph posts. I'tirthei, hi!, I the crushing on public holidays is siuip.y disgraceful, far exi eeding anything I bave ever seen. Xf we must ha ti atin , le*. us have it properly controlled I would, suggest a series of signs phi era on prominent landmarks —the South Pole, for example —with such notices as. "Keep to the right," "Do not sit on the icebergs." and other directions for the guidance of the unmannerly explorers. Possibly the police could uti.ise the Great Barrier in controlling the crowds. Apologising for trespassing on >'-ur enopp.—l tirn. etc. • _ ARCHIBALD -AVALANCHE-JONES. liav View, Mount Erebus. * »

The man who boast? that he makes no profession" has mistaken the wedding garment for a pair of shirt slee\es.

The following lines, entitled "Hap ; piness," are publish-.d in the "Nation as a recent specimen ol the work ot the distinguished Hindu poet. Ramndranath Tagore: — The earlv autumn dav is cloud less. The river is full to the br:m. washing the naked roots of the tottering tree

by the fcrd. .. The long, narrow path, like the tmrst\ tongue of the vill ige. dips down into

the stream. . The babbling of, the water mingles ui.h the laughing gossip of the women at

.their bath. .. The fisherman, weaving his net sits m his beat tied to a bamboo pole, and the naked boy plunges into the water

with loud shouts. Mv heart is full, and I toel that happiness is sin*pie, like a meadow {lower We ffrasp it with a cruel eagerness, and crash it; we jump bevend it in our ( mad pursuit, and miss it for ever. j I look around me and see the silent sky and the flowing water, and feel thnt happiness is spread abroad as simpl\ as a smile on a child s face ft * %

The council of the Billiard' Association , is considering the advisability of re- f strictinx the number of hazards that . jnav be played in succ-ession without t touching a cushion to 25.—Cable Item: And thus "Oriel" : |

Billiards, where are ye now? Ycur glorious reign Is drawing to.au early cloi-e. mc-thinkr-, Since you're descending to the lowly

plane Of Tiddley-winks

Time was it when I strove a score to make. Returning e'er with ardour undiminished. Altho' I grieve to state my rtcord break Was 4 (unfinished).

Oft had I heard the loud, gocd-humour-ed cheer Rising to the Havana-scented night, What time I tried to pot the crimson sphere And sank the white.

' But Jo, the other night I chanced to score A paetty run of six frotn otF the And twice again I d;d the trick beioie 1 went, to ueel. On that still sumirer's eve there came j t° me ' The iovous beat of Triumph s Tuneful Tindntm, I I knew l V = hew it must feel to be A Walter Lin drum. i Ever since then I've had a happy vision i When e'er on Dreamlands tables do 1 I score.tnree liundrid breaks with the precision { Of u-.e Gmy.

Gone are those happy dreams of billiardGone are' those winning hazards without numbers.. . The crashing cannon, and the sounding kiss - Now wreck my slumbers.

I only hope that no cue will be rash, And place a limit on the flukes l.pla\, For then I'd take up spillikins . - - Oh dash ! . ■» There's one away

Chief Commissioner. —Do you believe there-was a decrease of 6300 pianos m 1912 ? - ' Householder.—No ! Never ! There was;* I believe, an increase of 50,UdU least. I do, I 'do. v Chief Commissioner. —The commission gathers from your evidence that you do not love pianos? Householder.—l loathe their. E\er> house around me has one, some two, and they, all play ragtime, ragtime, ragtime. Heaven help me ! Chief . Commissioner.— Cheer up , don't take it so to heart. How would von cope with the evil? . * Householder (vehemently).—Smash Vm all. O! gentlemen, ut you haet "Hitehv Koo" and "Hullo Ta "|«' everv night from 50 f.o.b. 33-poundei», vou'd become affected. Chief Commissioner. —Couldn t you trv another suburb? Householder.—l have, I have, and thev were there in swarms. I went out into the wilds, and they were there all it it "Hitehv Koo." It will f one to the grave. O ! Lord, let me go. t him •VSXT&iSfr w. g* deal about this tango tea nowadays. How ™Yonn* ,t Hus P bTnd-''What a glorious oav ' I coi.ld dare jinrthiPor-Jaee iHn,. on a day like this T \\ .Je-"Conv, on down to the milliner's ! Chappie —"Jess told me she "ouM not marrv the handsomest -ran that lived." May—'"We'll, that c!'>e?n t atWct vour chances, does it ?" i. n „ w " "Talk about vour lotii? hours 1 know a couple of hands in a factory that never stop dav or night all the year round. "Impossible ! Where?" "Oh the faetoiv Cl °4 k small bov was seated in a barber's chair. "Well, mv lad," said the barber, "how would you like your hmr . cut. "Oh, like papa's, with a little round hole at the top Facetious Doctor (to artiet) : the rictures on th p walls are vour failures. I suppose?" Dyspeptic Artist: "Ye*.' That's where you doctors hav» the pull gver us» You can bury yours.