WEEKLY WHISPERS.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XLI, Issue 306, 1 December 1906, Page 2

WEEKLY WHISPERS.

It there's a hole in a' your coats, J rede ye Utti it ; A duel's among ye takin notes, Atid, faith, he'll prent it. —Burns.Facts have come. under "'MnfT.'aV nqtice certainly not redounding ti** ( J,he, Credit-, ferriercsity, or business abilities of sonic of those who run training colleges for students, about to. Cntctr holy ordei-s. Several young m|en nro induced to leave their avocations and take up study for the Church, (being given some small scholarship for maintenance. JAt one Anglican College in the North the boarding fee Is 27s CXi ft week, and this a student has to pay cx^ clusiveiy b'f University fees and travelling expenses almost daily in and out of the University town (some miles from the College,/. B'ut this is. not the wbrst.,EVery vacation |the students are fired but 18 fend for thcimsoi vi-s for a 'couple of rheittihs br mofe. Tfiey'. get their lodgings tree in the College if' they desire.it, but the board ceases: , Iri tbe institution Under notice tho vacation becan without notice a fortnight.. cai'Tier . than usual, and those students .who ■ have 'had to.saij close to , the . wind ,and who. havj. not ,riieans. other, than their poftv scholarship^ are considerably put about to live .in moderate comfort for two months before term . begins again.- This just near Christmas.too !. How.it is expected thai young irnen^ of 'the bOBt sort but \vilholit private means will join the Church under these precarious conditions one cannot 'understand. For mnyself, I regard the conditions as savouring of breach of faith with tl.yi«r. u-hn Ivivc.l'/Jon induced to give .up remunerative employment to take up residence at these trairrinsr .collides. It is 'hoped the Anglican . authorities in ,various .dipceseEj will, loqk IritS . i.lw L mattei", lor it seriously affects the future. „,•■• A new (imported) plumber attachec to the City Council s*-.aff io iv -hofiv.and i blessing tB householders. He has hi; head screwed on the right way, ant possesses the intuition of an expert t< guide him to the discovery of a weal spot at once. A householder says hi will do more in 10 minutes to imnrov the gas during an inspection to focafc naphthalene than had been done pre viously in twenty visits. New blooc tells sometimes. • «•#•« A number of local people are no pleased with themselves just now (say. the Wanganui "Chronicle,") They took in a stranger, by whom they wen in turn taken in. It appears that i well dressed young man, who iutroduc ed himself as a son of the Hon. J. D Ormond, was taken in hand by the lead ing members of the local Agi icultura Society, and was entertained royally The pseudo-Ormond made various sug gestions as to how the Show might hi improved, and the authorities decidec to meet him in conference with a viev to receiving Lints for the conduct o next year's Show. The conference however, did not take place, and th. Show people, for some reason, rlo ho seem, anxious tb dismiss the matter fron the house tops; » » • • • * A Christchurch friend of the. Fijian; (at the Exhibition), who Was in thei: enclosure just before they commencec tiiell' daiices recently, was honoured bi them, in a. way which he did riot under stand. A decorative wreath of lappa the paper-like substance made from tin bark of a tree, was wound around hi I staid felt hat in a way that could no I but excite remark and questions amoiij his white acquaintances. He wa ! about to tear the decoration from it '.place, when Mr Scott, the Fijian Com | rnisslorier, interposed. "Don't do that,' ! fie enjoined earnestly. '.'You, will neve be able to come inside this place agaii if you throw that away. That is ; mark of friendship, and they woult consider, it a great affront if you re moved it." So this recipient of thi quaint honour had to wear his tappi crown, enduring with the best grac possible the banter of his white friends who were all curious to know what ha< induced him to try to turn Fijian. » * • » • » One of the standard jokes asjaina country newspapers pays tbo "Sydnc; Daily Telegrap'i," is the monster pump kin-, or abnormal turnip, brought to th i office f r comment and subsequent u<e Last night a small boy bnaght in i dead swallow to be .marked For Hentifi catibn. At a cricfeet match on th< Spbrts G.-oun 1 yesterday, betweer Fort-street and Surry-hilh South, a lai —Doyle— killed a swallow whl b'wl ing Speaking on the matter, tho bo: said, " the swallow ducked tut I swcrvi a bit you know, so the ball followec him and killed him sto-e deaJ," Thbr< is a case on rocor 1 wherj Spofforth ii reported to have killed a swallow on the wing with an extra fa9t one, bat this is the first case on record where the swerve beat the swallow. »»»»»» A lady who went to tho Wellington Town Hall on Saturday night tj hear Madame Dolores complains to tie ' Post ' she ) i.l to listen to other people while the prima donna was singing. These individual persisted in bumming the ai s, making a horrible nerve-shattering accompaniment for the vocalist's roolo.Ty. Tho parsons who mark time with hands or feet or mouths st a concert of this de.-ciiption arc obviously out of their element, and it is ralhpr difficult to noire an elomout suitable fot them. At first thought, says tho Wellington Post," people might be inclinerf to pity the Minister of the Crown who has to keep watch and ward, by turn, in the inhibition buildings. He has a n illstone of responsibility tied to hh neck he is hobbled with the shackles of duty' but he is happy. He is in a retreat »ecure from the tiresome harangue of the persistent deputationist wbo°wants the Director oE tbe Geological Survey to go to Nomatnweri to report on a bit of greenstone (actually a wave-worn bit of beer bottle) washed up on the beach or ho defires tho Chief Veterinary Surgeon to inspect a pimple on his horses nose. Hie deputationist nius-t pay a shilling before he can pet into the territory that encloses (he Mi ii«ier A humoral contribute'? ti " Pu c k ' this scrap of conversation concernint a ratal defect in Socialism :-— "1 like Socialism fine," said the ! honest and apparently unromantic mechantc, but r don't want to giveun my Sunday paper." p "Give up your Sunday paper," said ! the agitator, » I don't see how Socialism 19 fT« ng t 0 * ffect y° ur rea ding matter " _ Maybe it won't yours," replied the victim of capital "but I've got sd socustomed to reading • Snappy Domes in Smart Set : Thev Bump the Bump! in the Vandergould Dining Room," and ' « Mia Aatorbilt's Heme : She Has I Enough to Fill a Wash Basin,' and •Life Histories of tbe Eighty- Peeresses Who Were Members of the Original 'Florodora" Sextet,' and all suchlike that I dunno what I'd do if you was to remove the pampered classes " It requires the ingerfuity of the American journalist satisfactorily to master a difficulty of this sort. A man whose obituary notice had been prematurely published went round to the editor of his local paper, ind pleaded his case pathelically. It was in vain • an American newspaper never apologised, he was informed. But he insisted that this one must apologise. Here was I bis wife in deep distress and his busi I ness going to rack and rui Ui If the , editor would not voluntarily apologise and explain, then the law must be invoked to compel him. This shift went home. "Sir" said the editor, "you are a man for whom I have the very highest respect You are a renowned and popular citizen. This paper has announced your death, so thai to all intents and purposes you are dead and buried For that lam very sorry. Sir we will make amends. As a token of the high esteem m which you are held by this paper, we will find room for you to-morrow-.n the bir.hs column'- £ u Xu* T arla t'onof the old chestnut about the American editor of abnormal {JTSSm^ whend <^ to cornet an erroneous announcement of an esecutton agreed to say only that the man was hanged but the rope broke MOFUSSILITE.