WEEKLY WHISPERS.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XXXII, Issue 245, 22 October 1898, Page 2

WEEKLY WHISPERS.

It there's a hole tn a' pour coals, I rede ye, tent V it. A chid s amang ye takin' notes, And faith he'll prent it. — Burns It is hoped that if there be any meaning at all in post-prandial, or at least in after luncheon speeches, the press of the colony will now rise up in ita p i ace and contra diet the libel on Kelson which lias grown noary if not venerable with ago, I ta est the statement that the city and people are asleep. Of .course one is not supposed to belie vo all that is said at luncheons and such functions , but Mr Fenwick.ot the "Otago Daily Times." speaking on behalf of .the Press Association at tho gathering in honour of the visitors at Mr and Mrs Trask s, "took back all that had been assrted in the various newspapers at various periods of the Hollow • ' N9lsoa being " Slee py « * • He told his bearers that before he cam* tc Nelson he had firmly believed in a story he had hoard, it was that a stranger, walking through Nelson streets, saw some vehicles and horses, and asked whose funeral it was. " Funeral !" waa the indignant rejoinder of the well-in-formed native, " Why, it is the Fire Brigade hastening to a fire," Mr Feuwick and his brother newspaper men. however, had gone round the city, be said, and seen every where in the well-kept gardens and good streets and comfortable houses fl. 1 ? 6 ?? 9 ! °* 3 , tead . y indus t*"y, and of the taat that Nelsomans were quite alive enough and knew how to taka life comfortably, but not by any means lazily. The little Dnnedin anecdote at the expense of Nelson, hoary enough, was not allowed to pass without a Nelsonian to the rescue. The local man retorted with another anecdote, also hoary and of a full chestnut flavour, at the expense of early Dnnedin. All know it, bnt here it is — It was widely understood that none but a canny Scot could get on in the city - that all billets, contracts, and picking wont to Scots persons or persons with Scots names. The Munioipal Council one day considered tenders for certain work and found that the lowest tender by far was that of a man signing himself Alex. ander McTavish. In due course the contraot was let, and then, when the contractor came along it was found that he waa not a Scot at all, but an equallv canny Chinaman, who explained tbat he had adopted the name of MacTavish because he found that it was impossible to live in Dnnedin unless one were «. Mac of some sort. 0I * » . It is comfort ng to know that the newspaper men thoroughly enjoyed tbeir visi to the city, for they had expected to be i " deadly dull," as Mr Fenwick put it. On the drive to the Reservoir the guests, both ladies and gentlemen were in raptures with the beauty of the earlv spring- with the clinging Wistaria, and the roses and the tender gronn wisps of the willows It was explained that all j this was nothing for the spring had been dry and the Brook was hrjdly running andm places unkempt because of the drought ; but the visitors one and all exclaimed that if Nelson could be thus ovely under difficulties, she must indeed ■be beautiful w „en weather conditions had been normally favourable. Then i t fortunately happened that there was a tui in f u 1 voice at the Reservoir, and to him fcelsonians owe a rote of thanks, for the visitors from the larger cities had not heard his reverence for years and they wore charmed to listen to him. Alto™' r 'i a e |n jo i' rn -« 0f the P«W"™ in the E-L w\ U !u wltU oc ° u Pi'«on, and they have left with many pleasant memories.

Ihe Circus recently in town was res- ! Ppnsible for an unconsoious insult to the Marlborough Cavalry now in camp hereanditcanbe wiped out only in berlud. Ihe hussars were marching- martially to tbe scene of their manomvres when a woman rushed out of a house calling to her httle ones to come and look, saying, Here s the circus coming i" And all 3„^ 6 Btr 5 6fc i h ° P e °r'o gazed at the cavalcade under the fixed imnression that fc was the Circus. They wondered where not show them their error. On the other hand, one little girl, when she saw the soldiers marching, went home and tod her parents in great alarm that war had broken out and that the enemy were in possession of Nelson.

But the resident who has most cause to remember the Circus is Baid to be a clergyman— .?» non e aero, ben trovato. loward3 the small hours one morning this week he and his family were aroused by sounds of alarm and of some one breaking wl Sug tne P arßona ge hedge in a hurry. When the door was opened a woman presented herself in a pitiable state of "blue funk." She said that tbe tiger wa3 loose, and that her two daughters had been so scared that tlmy had left her in the lurch and run from Washington Valley to the I mudflat to gat outof the way si the roaring beast. Shedeolared that the creature was prowling around the valley, making a hidaous noma, and that it appeared ta

be hungry ;.so would his reverence give her shelter until the tiger had been caught ? * • # Of course shelter and succour were granted, and the clergyman proceeded to investigate, for certainly weird sounds were making the midnight welkin ring at short intervals. At last a knowledge of natural history, and many boyhood memories of watering place beaches and costermongers* carts and rides to the Pyramids enabled the clergyman to distinguish in the noiae the unmistakeable bray of Andy, tha f American piebald don- I key attached to the show. The frightened woman then went home and collected her daughters from the mudflat, and removed the barricades from the front and back doors, and expressed a wish that circuses would not coma to Nelson to disturb honest folk at inconvenient hours. And so thought the parson too - not of the circus bnt of some parishioners. * * * Tbe native servants in Hawaii used to address their mistresses as they heard other members of the household address them, not infrequently calling them by their first names. According to the * Argonaut,' an English woman determined on her arrival in Honolulu that her servants should never call her Mary, and instructed them carefolly in the presence of her husband. One day, when she had visitors, her cook put his head in at the drawing room door, and politely inquired, " What vegetables for dinner today, my lovel?" He had heard her called that, and seemed proud of remembering I not to say Mary. * * * Woman who take a pride in the amallness and beauty of their fast must eschew cycling, tennis, golf-in f tto t all those delightful outdoor exercises which make the life of a girl of to-day worth living. A correspondent to « Woman's Life "writes that she saw in a paper tbat women's feet were getting larger by indulging in these pastimes. On reading her letter the editor despatched a representative to make inquiries from one or two of the leading shoemakers in London. Their verdict was that what the saw in the paper waa correct; but ourfaii readers need not abandon themselves t< despair, for the growth is so inflnitesima that it ,is scarcely perceptible to anyoni but an expert shoemaker. In any case surely the benefit derived from thesi health- giving recreations should be con. sidered more, than the dictates of vanity MOPUSSILITB.