SUNSHINE CORNER

Manawatu Times, Volume LIV, Issue 6809, 12 January 1929, Page 14

SUNSHINE CORNER

Vanquished Hopes. Mother: Jimmy, do you know where the new candy shop is on Main Street? Jimmy (expectantly): Yes? Mother: Well, I want you to go into the grocery store next door and get me a pound of onions. Slow Work. Emily had been at school for the first time. “Well, darling, and what did you learn?” asked her mother ,on Emily’s return. “Nuffin,” sighed Emily, “I’ve got to go back to-morrow.” “Troubles.” Bryan had the chicken-pox, ’N Robert’s got a bruise, Baddy had a norful nail Sticking in lice’s shoes; I fink it was the toofacke, Was what was wrong wiv mummy; ’N I’ve been vewy sick to-day Wiv a headache in my tummy. MARY BLOOMFIELD. A teacher asked her class if anyone could tell her what the Royal Mint was. After a short silence a small boy replied: “What the King eats with his roast lamb.” Tho kindly old gentleman felt very sorry for the tramp. “My goodnoss! ” he gasped, “and you say that you aro 13,000 miles from home?” “That’s right, sir,” answered the tramp hopefully. “And where is your home?” “Australia.” “Dear me, dear me! Take this, my good man. And how do you ever expect to get there?” The “good man” looked hard at the penny in his hand. “Well, if I don’t do better than this,” he said thoughtfully, “I s’pose I’ll have to walk!”

The dear old lady saw the little boy playing in a puddle, and, horrified, she exclaimed. “You naughty little boy. Get out of that, puddle at once!” Little Boy: “Go away and find a puddle for yourself. I got this one first. ’ ’

Horace: I am going to put a scarecrow in the garden to frighten the birds.

Willie: That’s right. You can’t be expected to be in the garden all the time.

The new messenger boy at'the hotel tapped on the door. “Please, sir, here’s a telegram for you! ” “All right! Slip it under the door.” “I can’t, sir. It’s on a tray.”

Old Gentleman: How much to drive me to the station? Cabby: Five shillings, sir! Old Gentleman: And how much for my bag? Cabby: Nothing! Old gentleman: Then take my bag— I ’ll walk!

Mrs. Tabby: Hungry, are you? Would you like a chop? Tramp: That would suit me well. Mrs. Tabby: Then go round to the back. You will find the wood ready for chopping.

Uncle: What became of those jokes I wrote down? Bobby: I threw the paper on the fire and it simply roared.

Billy: Hullo, Bunny; had an accident?

Bunny: No! A bull tossed me over a gatel Billy: Well, don’t you call that an accident? Bunny: No—the bull did it on purpose!

Riddles. Q: What is the difference between showers ou a rainy day and wounded Hons? A: One just pours with rain, and the others Tear with pain. Q: Which is the strongest day of tho week?

A: Wednesday, because its the far thest from tho week-end (weak-end).

Q: When does a sheep resemble ink? A: When it is in a pen.

Visitor, (to small boy): So, Peter, I hear you are learning to speak French How much do you know? Peter: Well not all of it.

Daddy had noticed that his 6mall daughter was not eating the crusts of her bread, and remarked: “You may be glad of that crust some day, my child.”

To which the child replied: “Yes, daddy, that’s what I’m saving it for.”

Big Sister: What did Captain Smith say about my voice? Young Brother: He muttered something that sounded like “a night in a gale.”

A boy was asked to give a sentence containing the word “anemone.” He replied: “Yes, sir, anemone hath done this.”

Visitor: Is your mother in? Little Joan: No, she has gone out. Visitor: When will she be back? Little Joan (calling indoors): What do I say now, mother?

A class in school was acting their history lesson and ono boy being appointed as king was knighting some other boys. As it camo to the turn of a boy noted for the size of his waist, he was tapped on the shoulder and was ordered: ‘‘Arise, Circumference!”