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Manawatu Times, Volume LIII, Issue 6536, 18 February 1928, Page 13

NOTES

To avoid that run down feeling cross cross-roads cautiously., ,; , The Helper, (to tbo victim of motor accident): How on earth did it happen? Victim: You see that cliff? Helper: Yes. Victim: Well, I didn’t A Hull man recently left a legacy for the upkeep of his son’s car. Provision. for £SB a year was allowed, with £3OO for the purchase of a now car when necessary. All motor vehicles in Venezuela are now required by law to be fitted with two motor horns—one electric with a strong note, and the other hand-oper-ated with a soft note. A .designer claims to have produced the ideal woman driver’s car. But if it only appeals to tho ideal woman drivers there wont be many cars sold surely! Little Boy Blue, come blow up your •horn—Tho crossing is near, and your brake-lining’s :Worn. But Little Boy Blue gave never a cheep, Now he’s under the tombstone, fast asleep. 1 The driver of a single-door coupe asked his fair passengers to jump out and look at one of the tyres as he thought it was flat. She did so, and, jumping quickly back into the car, said:- “No, it’s quite all right. It’s only flat at the bottom. Do not allow road oil to remain on your tyres as it dissolves rubber. After travelling on a newly-oiled road you should wipe the oil off the tyres with a rag soaked in gasoline. Judge (to prisoner): What is your name, occupation, and what are you charged with?” Prisoner: “My name is Sparks. 1 am an electrician, and I am charged with battery.’' Judge (after recovering his equilibrium): “Officer, put this man in a dry cell.” “I never knew till I got a car,” said the mild man, “that profanity was so prevalent." • “Do you hear much of it on the road?” “Why, nearly everybody I bump into swears dreadfully.” Many a car is fool-proof until the driving seat is occupied, Briggs: Why have you got the end of your garage on hinges? Griggs: My wife can’t always stop tho car. Cars run into staggering figures sometimes —particularly in thirsty weather. Was passing a house last week when I saw a motorist elaborately raise his hat to a housewife. Said her neighbour: “Who’s that?” “Why, don’t you know,” was tho answer; “E’a the gintleman wot run over my first ’uaband.”

An elderly man was cycling down the street when a dog rushed across tho road, and, getting under the front wheel, threw him on the f ground in a sitting position. Immediately a crowd collected, and the dog excited by so many people, rushed round and round the cyclist, seeming to enjoy it. “Did you have an accident,” asked one of the audience. “Oh, no,” retorted the old fellow: “I threw myself down so that I could play with the dog.”

“A proposal that every motor-car should have a red light on the “port" side and a green one on the "starboard” side, was put forward at a meeting of the London Safety First. Council ” —Cable message. And why not a lookout? And a pilot, too? Excellent! Dumb cops could bo descried from the. masthead as “shoal ahead,” and intersections as "squall approaching three points to tho sta’bd bow.” We could even havo boarding parties for road hog’s cars. Other things, too. Its quite intriguing.