BRIEF MENTION.

Marlborough Express, Volume XLIV, Issue 57, 12 March 1910, Page 5

BRIEF MENTION.

"A little nonsense now and then, is relished by the wisest men.."

A crisp and sunny morn

Yesterday the parson __ weatherprognostic was asked for ice. He gave us frost. Near enough!

An amusing speech—or, rather, tirade—at the opening of the swimming baths sports yesterday. What amazingly funny (save the mark) fellows some of these wig and gown folk are. Fancy dubbing the great profession of the architect a "trade" ! "Trade jealousy," forsooth. If an educated, brainy architect is a mere tradesman, then in heaven's name what is an impolished mis-educated lawyer ? That's the rub ! In a certain church in Blenheim there was no choir practice last night. Pollard's "Olivette" tempted the choristers, and they fell! But was it' a fall from grace ? Nary! If the Church would follow —or rather lead—the stage, and give us better music and less unintelligent "preach," there would be crowded houses and full collection boxes. Maoriland soil evidently does not suit the cricket game. Therefore drop the round and cultivate the oval. Minister: "And the child's name?" Mother (firmly): "Name him Frederich Robert Cook Peary | Smith. I'm not going to take any chances." "The chicken stew has two prices in the bill of fare. How is that, ;waiter?" "With chicken in it, it is thirty cents; without it 3 ten." Mrs Enpeck: The philosophers tell us that blessings often come to us in disguise. Mr Enpeck (with a sudden show of spirit) : Maria, when are you going to unmask? I wish most sincerely (said the Philosopher) that I were my grandchild's grandchild. Twenty brace of English mallard ducks have been liberated on Rangiri Lake, Auckland. Alfred Anderson, ten years old,, who lives in Marengo a weighs 12£ stone. : .;/ ■ . v/ When I go to raise the wind, Cash being very spare, I. always am chagrined to find A dead calm everywhere. v Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities, no doubt, crept in; forget them as soon as you can. A certain doctor delivered a lecture on "Lunacy and Lunatics." Wonder what the paper meant when it added: "there were many present?" The wills of 141 persons connected with the wine and spirit trade in the United Kingdom were proved during last year. The aggregate net personalty amounted to £4,109,787. What a sin J She: "How far can your ancestry be traced?" He: "Well, when my grandfather resigned his position as cashier of a county bank they traced him as far as China, but he got away." "Just think of it! One person in every 37 in England is a pauper." "Why, John," she returned, "it isn't so. I met more . than 37 people in London last,summer myself, and there wasn't- a pauper in the lot."

Sold at Christmas to a poultrykeeper some distance away, a young Orpington cockerel returned to its old home (near London) on January 2 and killed the rooster by whom it had been supplanted. .

Vicar's Daughter: Why don't you let your son join the choir? Rustic Party: Well, you see, miss, they wanted :im to blow the organ, and I don't think 'is lungs is strong enough.

"The errors of the world come from the pace at which people go, but I strongly advise children never to quarrel with their parents if they can possibly avoid it."—A saying of Judge Willis at the ■ Southwark County Court.

Gent (to cabby): How do you manage to keep yourself dry1 in this wet weather? Don't you wear a water-proof? Cabby: Na, na, sir; I just tak' a salt herrin' in the niorin' afore I conie/'oot, and it keeps me dry a' day.

An epitaph in St. Paul's Churchyard, Isle of Thanet, says: — Against his will Here lies George Hill, Who from a cliff Fell down quite stiff, j When it happened it not Known, Therefore not mentioned on this stone.