A Letter from Dunedin.

Mataura Ensign, Volume 15, Issue 1181, 3 May 1892, Page 3

A Letter from Dunedin.

. You- manage-io. makeihings .lively, some-_ how down your way. If you cannot fight, you feast. Judging from reports, you stuffed the, Honorable John well, with good thing?, and be in return gave, you a large selection of facts, figures and fiction carefully blended to suit all tastes, or as nearly so as could be expected. But I do not give the arguments of the Minister of Lands much credit for his generous reception. He was,not only a Mac but .a, Mackenzie—and that in Southland is'almost as good as a Macintosh—and, by the way, he had a real live Mackintosh with him, had he not ?' Then, too, he had a piper named Cameron (which of itself was a great pull), and the piper had kilt and bagpipes, and the whole Government party was suspected of having the Gaelic, and so —well, if aman could not.find a favorable reception in Southland under such circumstances he would deserve to be re-christened Ah Sin and, denied bagpipes and, whisky for the term of his natural life. And when he died bis bones should be sent to China. But the Honorable John, as we were all glad to see, got through extremely well, and left for the North to assist in the campaign against Allen, none the worse for Host Coghlan's champagne.

Excuse me for referring once more to Gore matters, but you have been feasting so freely down your way of late that your Dunedin'friends have been looking rather longineiy down South. Tour last issue contained a report of the banquet to Mr Green. Not a few that I know here would gladly have, been present, and there are many further away, also known to me, who would have liked to put in a few words on the occasion. However, I must not trespass further beyond my own domain. Suffice it to say that if all the men who go into business in this colony can come out of it as Tom Green has done—with the respect and good wishes of all the best of those with whom he has had dealings— New Zealand will not be a bad place to live in.

But whilst you of Gore have been enduring, patently enough no doubt, floods of champagne, we of Dunedin have been calmly considering tbe prospects of a deluge.. There is a gentleman of the name of Clifford, who informs us periodically, per letters to the papers, that our dam is going to burst and the North East Valley, be more or less flooded. He does not actually say that the dam is about to burst, but he watches it much as a cat does a kitten, and puts his pen on every suspioious sympton as surely as a clumsy man plants his heel on your favorite corn. Ever rince Professor Black put ammonia into the reservoir and caught it again in the creek below, the existence of a leek has been proved, and it only wanted additional evidence to raise a scare. Mr Clifford thought this was to be found in a recent " plump." What a " plump " is I do not exactly know, but judging it on the onomatopoeic system and from collateral evidence I gather that a part of the embankment has what we did as boys when we jumped from the top of a twelve-foot wall—-come down " plump." That is to say that, finding nothing beneath i\ a part of the wall lately concluded to descend until it found something more substantial than air to sit upon. Mr Clifford and the " plump" combined have resulted in a drainage of~- the reservoir, and a series of careful experiments by the City Engineer, Mr Hay. Thes'3 experiments have shown conclusively that there is sometimes a greater leakage from the reservoir when it is empty than there is when it is full, and occasionally more when full than when empty. In fact, the reservoir is guilty of leaking, but will leak in pursuance of no known principles. You may fill it up one month, and it will part with barely a drop. The next month you may empty it and it will yield as abundantly as the widow's cruse of oil. The result is a verdict of Not Proven, as against the charge oE instability, and the engineer's advice is to go slow ahead, i.e., fill up by degrees and look out for squalls.

In the last paragraph I incidentally mentioned Professor Black. The professor is in great form. just now and is justifiably proud of a grand collection of mineral specimens ho has secured at Zeehan. These are on view at the University, and either, the- professor or the ever watchful " Wullie " will discourse upon them with keen pleasure. Anyone fiom your parts visiting Dunedin and having an hour to spare can profitably employ it looking over this collection of specimens and talking mining generally with the professor or bis genial assistant. A word of advice to such as may be short either of leg or of wind—do not offer to walk out of town with the professor if he is in a hurry to keep an appointment. His average pace is about six miles an hour.

I heabd the other day that a dozen girls have been put on in the telegraph or telephone department. There may have been some of tbe gentle sex employed before for all X knojv, but if so these are a dossen fresh ones. There are also other detachments of fair ones going on in Ohristehurch, Wellington and Auckland, from which it may be iuferred that the Postmaster-General, has a good opinion of the girls. A singular thing about the Dunedin lot is that at least five of them can claim relationship or fairly close connection with one of Dunedin's represents* Jnves of labor in Parliament. I do not Jtnow whether any other Government supporter ha.Sj some young friends, in. the branch, but it is generally agree J that Mr Pinkerton's family and friends have talents in the telephone line which should not be lost to the country. In the old Latin grammar one l ea . r -t that it was a sweet and becoming f lliair to die for one's country; in these days it is a capital fching for one's relations for a man to servo his country's Government.

[ Things are seldom what they seem, as ! dear little Buttercup regretfully re? marked. A few months ago I was in a certain hotel in Dunedin enjoying a cup of coffee when there entered to the bar two of the best known men in the city. One of them was a white-whi9kered, festive old fellow to my knowledge three lustres, nay nigh four lustres, hence, and the other was one who has enjoyed more than once the highest civic honors. The landlord gave them "the bones," and ! after a few upturnings of the mystic cylinder one of the players cheerfully remarked—" Yours again, confound you," and passed over a sovereign to his friend. Then they divided a small |bottle of "fizz" and departed to their work—for it was the witching hour of 11 a.m. when beers bubble and spirits sink. The landlord informed me that this was a customary morning performance. It was not long ago that this happened, as I have said, but since then I have known the white-haired old champion ward off with practised skill many vicious thrusts pf Judgment summonses, and I have seen

his'companion hi*; ins si-uu<tule, moot, \\ ! creditors, and be allowed L 3 a week to shuffle a'ong on until the wrat'i of his enemies has abated. It struck me as a pity that the allowance was not made L 3 10s a week, because I believe the, small bottle is as much sought after on Sunday mornings as on week days, and the extra 10s would just have allowed for as many losing as wirining throws.