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Marlborough Daily Times, Volume VIII, Issue 2052, 6 January 1887, Page 2

Take Big Sniffs.—We recommend the Inspector of Nuisances to take a walk down WyneujStreet, towards the Bridge —and sniff. The Hussars. —There will be a parade at Head quarters at 7 o’clock this evening for inspection of arms, after which the will be exercised in mounted drill. The Guard’s Christmas Box. Th following further donations (comple e iqg Jhe lists) are acknowledged towards the presentation to S£r Peake : Mrs Chaytor ss, Mr Wyvil 2s (jd, Mr Liggins ss, W. Earp and Co. os, Mr 6. P. Bayley 5sA Warning.—The Inspector of Nuisances contemplates an inspection' of all roads and footpaths in the Borough within a day or two, and will take a note of all properties on which grow trees or shrubs which overhang the footpaths. For the Ladies.— Messrs Card and Rabone have a number of spare copies (Christinas number) of that always popular periodical ff’fhe Yoqng Ladies’Journal”. Beside? the ‘ qsual entertaining reading "matter the number contains 1 a Christmas Supplement with a beautiful colored plate. Caledonian Society.— At a meeting of the Caledonian Society held at the Criterion Hotel on Tuesday evening, Mr R. M'Artney, President of the Society, in the chair, prize money to the amount of jLS4 12s 6d was passed for payment, also acc'ouptß amounting to about LSO. Ihe meeting then adjourned till ' Monday evening, Insurance Agency. Mr Thomas Watson, so well and favorably known throughout tho district has received the appointment of travelling agent here for the Colonial Mutual Life Office. We congratulate the Colonial Mutual on securing the services of so energetic and able an officer.

A New Industry.—The Christchurch Press mentions that, after many disappointment*, Mr J. T. iMatson has been successful in hatching out a broad of young ostriches, seven in number. The young birds are strong and healthy, and are likely to do well.

A Judicial Barnacle— The cable recently announced that Vice-Chancellor Bacon has retired from the Englishßench. Bacon is an English judge over 90 years of age, who, although s one deaf, partially blind, and utterly useless, has for years been allowed to freeze on his fat billet like a mussel on a pile.

No Divvy. —A bush settler’s credit was stopped by his creditors.— ‘* They vently told him truss was dead ; He spoke of assets and smiled. They gently pushed him from the room ; And he went off and filed. But now the lawyer has the dibs, A div. he will not pay ; He gently smiles on them and sjya ‘ 1 am not built that way.’ ” The unhappy creditor who composed these touching lines is a Fielding man.

The Moral of It. —From our youth up we have wondered why ca r efu! Christians made a practice of praying into their hats at divine service. Now we know. It is because they are afraid of their nextdoor neighour sneaking the “ cadey.” Paul Hoppi went to the Melbourne Gospel Hall the other night and immediately engaged iu prayer. Carried away by his devotions, he forgot all about his hat. Presently a stray sheep with a contrite heart and battered tile rolled iu and took the seat next to Paul. “ Let us all pray for one another,” said the contrite one. They prayed. The contrite one rose from his knees feeling much refreshed, Then he went out to fight the good fight, taking Paul Hoppi’s brand-new eight-and-sixpenny, instead of the disreputablelooking slouch in which he came to find redemption. The indignant Paul, after fervently repeating, “ forgive us our trespasses as we forgive,” &c., went af;er the trespasser and gave him in charge. The monster was rewarded with three months. The moral of this is that Heaven does’nt always help those who help themselves.

NewZealvnd Bust Up— . The Sydney Bulletin hears that another prophet has arisen in prophet-haunted N.Z. The retirement of Te Whiti into the solemn and lonely jug left a vacancy for an active and intelligent yonng man who could see visiors, and the individal who has taken the billet seems to fill the bill. He is a white man —name unknown, but he may be alluded to without outraging the probabilities in any way. His first prophecy is now to hand, and from it we learn that a fearful convulsion is shortly to take place, which will blow New Zealand, with all its debts and difficulties, right o2 the map of the Pacific. Some quiet night when all is calm, a crater 100 miles long by 40 broad will open in the North Island and start that territory into the upper air ; Sir Julius Vogel, singed,screeching,and adorned with a tail like a comet will go spinning aloft, his gouty leg ballasting him in a perpendicnlar posture, his deficit in one pocket and the missing Treasury bonds in the other ; Mr Ballance, too, will be there, making a bee-line for the dog-star, his hair on fire, and a Bible under his arm ; while Sir Robert Stout, who believes not in Bibles will join in that great sulphurous whiz, hugging the” Mistakes of Moses ” as lie goes, and faintly realising, as he listens to his colleagues cursing above,that he has somewhere made a mistake of Moses compared with which those were no. where. Tnen, when the Ministry ha reached its perihelion, a downward rush will commence, the members of the Cabinet doing an aerielrace with dead hordes dead dogs', babies, farms, houses, Maoris, parsons, churches, steeples, tables, chairs, cats, civil servants, lawyers, ash-heaps, and chunks of blazing sulphur, and all will go down with a mighty plash into the boiling waters of the Pacific, which will roll where N.Z. used to be. This is a really good prophecy, and we are waiting anxiously for the event to corns off. With such a prospect as this ahead it is no wonder that N.Z. securities are just now rather weak in the market.

Snobbery.—Referring to Mr Sala’s ironical remarks on the Academy dinner the Hawera Star retails the following story. —'This reminds us of an incident in connection with Mr Sala’s visit to New Zealand. When at Wellington lie was invited to lunch at Bellamy’s with the great ones of the land. A big speech by him was expected, and a verbatim report was required. Was the Press invited ? Oh, no! But one reporter, when the dinner was nearly over, and speaking was expected to begin, was hurried into the room. How he got there he hardly knew, but being there he soon found that though among the party lie was not of it, and realized that he had been bustled in to report, not to lunch. He took the notes, it is true, but they were never transcribed, and the speeches were lost to posterity. That is how the Press of New Zealand resented an insult. Snobbery is not confined to Academicians, Mr Sala.

Inconsistent Christianity. A writer in the Wanganui Herald has been devoting himself lately to exposing one or two “gentlemen” of Wanganui whose conduct is not altogether consistent. We commend the following extract to the consideration of our readers. —Whether it be true or not that a Wanganui lay reader receives the weekly rent of a house of illfame I know not, although I am assured that such is a fact. I hear, however, of another lay reader who deserves a little gentle criticism. This gentleman, although arraying himself in a white surplice on Sunday in a certain New Zealand town, devotes his weekday leisure to the unholy yet remunerative pursuit of money-lending. And dosen’t he love a high percentage “Shixty per cent” as the Hebrew moneylender says, is too low for this gentleman he limits his modest requirements to say 70 to 80 per cent. There are some pretty little passages in Holy Writ which my 80 per cent friend in his capacity as lay reader should know by heart. One says some very disagreeable things of userers q,nd extqrtionors : I commend the verse to his attentive study. By the aid of that valuable work Griiden’s Concordance, a copy of which no lay reader should be without he can easily discover the passage. I hope he will, and “read, mark, learn, and inwardly digest ” it. As Others See Us.—The Nelson Mail of Monday says -.—The excursionists by the Charles Edward to Havelock on Friday night, about 60 in number, appear to nave thoroughly enjoyed their trip. The water was as smooth as a mill pond both going and returning, and all was done by officers' and stewards on board the steamer to njake the passengers as comfortable 'as possible. Nearly all went through to Blenheim by coach either on Saturday or Sunday, and very general are .he terms of enthusiasm in which the road and scenery are spoken of by the travellers, who were especially delighted by the magnificent crops they saw between Renwick Town and Blenheim. The Bijou Band arrived at the latter place at 10 o’clock yesterday morning, and in the aftercoon played for an bpur in' the town, where there was a large crowd assembled to listen to them, residents from all parts of the country in the immediate vicinity having come in for the purpose. Return, ing to Havelock in the evening, the tourists stepped on board their steamer 1 once more, left about mklrJ b ,-j 0 j , arrived here at 10 o’clook this morning. [ (

Regatta Concert. Mr T. A. Dickens, the energetic Secretary of the Wairau Regatta Club, is making good headway with his arrangements for Regatta Day (2nd March) and the Regatta promises to be one of the most successful yet held. It is propose Ito wind up the day with a concert, and most complete arrangements are being made to that end During the evening the Silver Cup and trophies will, probably, be presented to the winning crews.

Reaper and Binder Contest. —We remind intending competitors that entries close this evening at the Times office for the reaper and binder contest to-morrow, at Mr Bishell’s farm.

Tenders for Rabbit Extermination, —The following tenders were received by the Department for destroying rabbits on 270 acres Crown Land, Wairau River lied:—G. Brencbley Ll2 (accepted), Stratford LSO and LGJ, S. Linteru L7O J. Reid L 75, H, Seiferi L97.J. Scott LOS J. Satherley Ll2O, L. Ford Ll3O.

Marlborough Tale. The Nelson Evening Mail prize story was won by “ Faith ” and is entitled “Second Sight” The story opens in Marlborough with the following sentences :—For a person of contemplative mind I don’t know any better place to live in than the homes-ead of a large run in Marlborough Province, New Zealand. Immediately surrounded by miles of waving tussock,—the horizon bounded by bold and rugged mountains one feels that all other concerns are beyond interest. As many peop’e refuse even to speculate on whether or noc the moon is inhabited ; so on such a run as the one I describe one feels it unneossary and useless to waste thought or feeling upon those beyond the magic circle of hills.

Bawling Justices.— Under this heading the following mysterious paragraph ap. pears in the Evening Post Who are the Dunedin Justices of the Peace who have disgraced their position by a public house brawl on a Sunday morning? The Minister of Justice will do well to ascer. tain their names with a view to the latter being omitted in the new Commission of the Peace which is about to be issued. He has already purified the roll by removing the name of an Auckland Justice who was found to be an unfit person to occupy the Bench, and it is generally understood that several names which are on the present roll will be omitted from the new one. Certainly Justices of the Peace who came to blows in a public house on a Sunday morning are not fit persons to retain the position of Magistrates; and no matter what other positions they occupy, we hope Mr I ole will not hesitate to omit their names from the new roll. Marlborough and Tinline Scholarships.—To Marlborough and the Blenheim Borough Schools and the Havelock School belong the honor of having won all the scholarships open to candidates from this district, and this fact is not only gratifying to us all, but must be particularly cheering to the successful candidates and their teachers, Messrs J. P. Lucas (Borough Schools), and Mr Reynolds, of Havelock. Toe Tinline scholarship for boys was von by Edward Pasley (Borough Schools'' with 573 out of a possible 600 ; the Tinline scholarship for girls by Emily Millington (Borough Schools) with 541 and the Marlborough Scholarship by Ernest Rutherford (Havelock) with 580. These results were made known in Nelson yesterday, and a telegram was at once sent to Mr J. T. Robinson, Secretary of the Education Board, conveying the above information. There were 70 candidates from Nelson, and 16 from Marlborough. The examiners were Mr Hodgson, Inspector of Schools, and the Rev H. J. Lewis.

Wells’ Hair Balsam.—lf gray, restores to original color. An elegant dressing, softens and beautifies. No oil nor grease. A Tonic Restorative. Stops hair coming out; strengthens, cleanses, heals scalp. “Rough on Dorns.”— Ask for Well Rough on Corns.” Quick relief, complete permanent cure. Corns, warts, bunions o chemists and druggists. MEMORANDA Ton dors are invited for the lease of a farm. Entries close to-night for the reaper and binder contost. Mr Worthylnke, Grovctown, inserts a personal notiee. Tenders for furnishing the new Hospital at Amcrsfoorte will be received up to Friday, rlth inst,